Everyone says I should stop breastfeeding but I don't want to

[xtinak]

DD is 15 months. I have mastitis for the 5th time I think. DD is a terrible sleeper.

Apparently if I stop breastfeeding all my problems will be solved.

AIBU to think that's probably not the case and if I want to keep going I should?

IMHO - once they've got Teeth, it's time to call it a day.

In my experience unfortunately the older your child gets the more you'll get shitty comments about stopping breastfeeding, always coming from people who say they have your interests at heart but really it's that people are weird about any child over the age of 1 breastfeeding.

Personally I breastfed my two children for 15 months and 2 and a half years, respectively, and night weaning didn't make a damn bit of difference to them sleeping through (or not, as the case ended up being). I night weaned DD1 at 12 months and she didn't sleep through till two and a half. Wouldn't co sleep with me either so what had been easy wakes (feed back to sleep) ended up being an absolute nightmare to find a way to get he back to sleep. With DD2 I didn't bother night weaning as didn't want the struggle, so fed back to sleep till she was 2. She started sleeping through about six months after I night weaned her. So in both cases they started sleeping through naturally at 2 and a half and was nothing to do with feeding. I'm not saying your child will keep waking till 2 and a half - all kids are different and sleep is development.

Ignore all the snidey unhelpful comments on here about how you're making more work for yourself or that kids shouldn't be feeding at night after a certain age. If you're happy with feeding at night and find it easier then keep doing it. If it reaches a point where you aren't happy with it and want to stop, then stop. That's effectively what I did with my DD2.

Some babies are born with teeth, should they never get a feed?

IMHO - once they've got Teeth, it's time to call it a day.

By that thought process some babies should stop nursing at 3 months.

I stopped feeding my then 18 month old in October and tbh it was like a miracle in regards to her sleeping pattern. Stating sleeping through almost immediately after hourly wake ups before.

I am a huge believer in breastfeeding being best but at 15 months your dd really has had the best milk start already, and your boobs by the sounds of it are telling you to stop, you really should listen to your body.

People are probably telling you to stop out of concern for you

@Puddlelane123, I had a period of 5mo on one breast and 3mo on the other, so I’d clear it and then it’d be fine for 3-4 days before it regrew again, a nail was tried but not sufficient! I’m sure mine were a combo of tongue tied baby with shallow latch, and oversupply. DD2 was also tongue tied and snipped earlier but latch remained quite shallow. I only got a blister once or twice with her that didnt recur, and I’m quite sure it was to do with me being far more vigilant about positioning and strict about the latch, never settling for anything uncomfy, which I did with DD1. Now DD2 is 17mo she latches much better through training but I still had mastitis a couple times with her, again all about latch I think. Any of those issues familiar for you, or you OP?

And sorry but I just have to comment on one of my pet hates mentioned above which I have read twice tonight - the phrase ‘baby using you as a human dummy’ - it’s the dummy that is the replacement for a tit ffs! Babies are born to suckle and they want to do it day and night, it soothes them, just like other mammals, just we humans developed a synthetic plastic nipple to save us having to oblige them all the time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a baby wanting to feed at night, but it is hard work if you choose it so you may moan as much as you wish!

I appreciate that giving up bf would most likely mean no more mastitis. Still it's interesting to me that giving up is the go-to solution. It's unusual to get mastitis so much at this stage so I feel like the logical response to that is to try to understand why it's recurring. If I said I had ankle pain no one would say to stop walking. So it seems to come down to some sense that breastfeeding - perhaps a toddler specifically - isn't normal. I could be wrong but that's the feeling I get.

'Using you like a dummy'.... Hmmm... are you sure it's not the other way round and dummies are used to replace the breast by any chance??

Feeding at night is normal at this age. For thirst, comfort, reassurance. If you're OK with it don't worry just keep going.
Mastitis is a bitch, hope you get it sorted.
Bf my oldest 2 past 5yrs old and currently bf my youngest aged 3. Both the girls stopped bothering me at night around 2yrs old and certainly slept probably by age 3 (my oldest started consistently sleeping through the day her sister was born...). My boy still wakes up occasionally at night and comes into our bed then. No hassle.

You can night wean without giving up.

OP, past mastitis is a risk factor for getting it again, so it’s possible you have some lasting damage to specific ducts or pores at the nipple. I have a regular boob care regime in the shower where I massage and express a bit, and you get to know how many sprays there should be roughly from each breast, if you know what I mean. I can often express a bit of thickened milk from some of the previous problem ducts. Also a wee scrub of a washcloth over the nipple helps keep everything clear of blockages. For the current situation, are you on antibiotics? I always kept this link saved to remind me of all the tricks when I got a block or mastitis. community.babycenter.com/post/a25226617/help_clogged_milk_duct_wont_unclog

If you want to say a bit more about the lead up to the mastitis maybe some of us could help you troubleshoot.

I stoped bf overnight when my dd was 10 months. It did help with the sleep but it wasn't the only answer, she had a real dependency on me to sleep and so we had to do a lot of comforting and reassurance until she slept through. I'd say about 6 weeks to crack it. Everyone was happier for it in our situation, dd noticeably happier and I felt like a huge weight lifted because I wasn't so knackered. Still bf morning and evening so it wasn't a total halt.

Do what's best for you. If you can cope with your mastitis and want to continue overnight feeds, do it. If you want to try dropping overnight feeds to get more sleep just be prepared that it might not work straight away, it's a big habit for them to drop.

Lots of luck

They’d tell you to try different shoes, and stop wearing the ones with x/y/z. So the analogy doesn’t work.
I’d be one if the ones saying you might consider stopping feeding. Because it worked for ds. I fed him every two hours 24/7. As soon as I stopped bf he started sleeping through.
I mean, it might have been a coincidence. (!)
But it meant I could finally get more than an hour and a half sleep at a time (he was plastic averse after double pneumonia/ RSV/ nebiser face masks 8 mos earlier, so no one else could manage to get him to take anything.)
I mean, I wouldn’t tell you to stop feeding. Your choice. But I’m bloody glad I did, and it was the only thing that worked for both issues. (Lack of sleep and bottle/ cup/ beaker refusal.)
No experience with mastitis. I ebf two and had to express for the third as she was tube fed.

Blimey op, I had mastitis twice before ds was a month old and that was enough for me to stop, hats off to you for getting through 5 bouts!

15 months is not an unreasonable age to still be feeding and if feeding through the night is ok with you then tats thy. You don't owe anyhow questioning it an explanation. If its medical people who you have gone to for support with the mastitis, just thank them, say you've given it consideration but have decided it's right for you and baby to keep going at this stage.

Could you pop into a breastfeeding group to discuss?

Well done for getting this far, especially with the issues you have had.

People in the UK struggle with BFing a baby over 1 because they are brainwashed, to a point, to think it's perverse and socially unacceptable.

Many cultures breastfeed until the children lose their milk teeth, hence the name!

The longer you breastfeed your baby the better for your health and theirs.

Do you have a local breastfeeding support group? They are amazing. A safe place to feed where you won't be judged and they offer some proper support and guidance. All you need is one person flying your flag to give you boost!

Keep it up, you're doing great 👍

Thanks @Merename Most times I've first been alerted to the problem by the fluey symptoms. This time I had a red rash around my nipple and was thinking maybe I had thrush but then the fluey symptoms began. I can now feel a hard bit that must be a blockage. So maybe I'm just not good at noticing any blockages in good time before they become infected! I've got an appointment in a short while and I imagine I'll get antibiotics as I have done the previous times. Once I had an obvious milk blister with thickened milk coming out. That was more painful and noticeable prior to actually getting ill. I guess I need to be more aware.

Night weaning makes a lot of sense and I did give it half arsed attempt but in practice at 2am I am almost definitely going to just feed her so I can go back to sleep. Which is what happened.

I do appreciate all the responses and the encouragement to keep going.

I stopped breastfeeding DD at 18 months and she became a better sleeper for it because I was no longer her human dummy! So this may have some truth in it.

That had nothing to do with how you fed, it was the habit you had formed.

DD was breastfed and slept through from about 3 or 4 months. Forming good sleep habits is perfectly possible with a breast fed baby.

I stopped at 22m and my daughter started sleeping through the night straight away, like magic. So from my experience there is a reason why people suggest that it can help. Obviously not always the case. I was tired and started having better times with my daughter once I stopped breastfeeding and found it much easier to concentrate at work.

from what I went through breastfeeding DS until he was 18 months EVERYONE will blame not sleeping through on breastfeeding!

He still wakes most nights and he’s 28 months

I’m still feeding Ds3 at 2 years 9 months...only one a day now, at bedtime.

I tried and failed with Ds1 and ds2 and each was only bf for around a week. I knew Ds3 would be my last baby and i was determined to get to 6 months with him but I never thought in a million years he’d still be bf at nearly 3!

People think it’s weird...even my ‘pro-bf’ mum and MIL are now weekly asking me if he’s stopped yet with side eyes. But they’re only little once and it’s his ‘favourite’ source of comfort and sends him to sleep within 5 minutes like magic every night...so I don’t care.

My baby, my breasts, my choice and Not Your Fucking Business.

Your body - if you don't want to stop bf then don't! I was mightily pissed off at DH when he opined that I should stop bf DS - none of their damn business, as far as I could see.

Btw, you can still bf in the day even if you did want to stop giving him milk at night. He'll learn to get back to sleep without it (maybe teach him to fall asleep without the breast as a first step, if he currently feeds to sleep?). I couldn't handle lack of sleep (stopped any milk at night when DC were 4 months) but I'm hoping DD (now 9 months) will continue bf during the day for another year or more.

I really don’t understand why anyone would want to do this past age 1! They don’t need it.

As long as the person who is about to write out a prescription for you knows, then that's the only thing.

As for babies/children not needing it, nobody needs chocolate or teddies or snuggly blankets or cosy programmes on Sunday nights, but they're comforting, so why not?