Everyone says I should stop breastfeeding but I don't want to

[xtinak]

DD is 15 months. I have mastitis for the 5th time I think. DD is a terrible sleeper.

Apparently if I stop breastfeeding all my problems will be solved.

AIBU to think that's probably not the case and if I want to keep going I should?

As for babies/children not needing it, nobody needs chocolate or teddies or snuggly blankets or cosy programmes on Sunday nights, but they're comforting, so why not?

Yes but if the person I shared my bed with was waving chocolate in my face all night I would not be able to resist constantly biting chunks out of it and would probably end up awake all night with indigestion

Yet no one questions feeding children cows milk after one. Weird.

Night weaning makes a lot of sense and I did give it half arsed attempt but in practice at 2am I am almost definitely going to just feed her so I can go back to sleep

Assuming DP is around, he needs to take over nights until it’s sorted.

My little one is 16 months now and he's still breastfeeding and co-sleeping. I'm just going to let him self wean.
He will wake up 2 or 3 times a night still, but I've got used to it. I literally just pop a boob in his mouth and fall back to sleep.
I did try to night wean him, and to also get him to sleep in his own bed but after several nights of screaming, snot and tears (and in one case blood as he banged his front teeth biting the side of the cot) I gave up. I'm all for an easy life.

I've had mastitis twice, the first time I didn't realise and thought I just had flu. Thankfully I've not had problems for about a year now. When I went back to work it took a couple of weeks for the discomfort to go (from not feeding or expressing during the day), but everything is fine now. He usually feeds after work, feeds to sleep, and through the night/first thing in the morning.

People at work assume I'm not feeding still, and are surprised when I tell them I still am. Also my mother keeps telling me to give up (and once said I was going to mess his head up feeding him when he's this old) but I just ignore her and tell her to stop being ridiculous.

Yet no one questions feeding children cows milk after one. Weird.

Who bottles feeds a 1+ overnight though. A drink of cow's milk or breast milk before bed and at breakfast is sufficient for a one year old.

A drink of cow's milk or breast milk before bed and at breakfast is sufficient for a one year old.

Well I’m advocating night weaning, so I don’t disagree with you.

I presumed the poster I responded to was talking about bfing in general.

Taking lecithin can prevent blocked ducts that can lead to mastitis.

My two sisters stopped bf at 1+ and their babies were still terrible sleepers afterwards. I stopped all mine at 2+ as I valued the breast for resettling them too much! However, it is possible to reduce night feeding gradually to help them sleep a bit longer if it’s disturbing you. You don’t have to stop completely though. Dd2.5 now gets one feed a day, plus extra if she is ill. If you have a dp who can do nights then you could reduce/stop night feeding if and when it works for you.

If you're happy to carry on then carry on. Stopping might stop you getting mastitis, but people who've never even been pregnant can also get it.

Both of my children were breastfed to 3+

I stopped telling people about it when they were older than 2 because I tended to get raised eyebrows. But they're MY kids and MY breasts.

I night weaned my son at a year old and my daughter around 1.5. Part of why I kept nursing was because it made nighttimes easier - I was able to sleep while they nursed.

When they were night weaned they slept okay... Provided they slept with me. That worked for us. Every child is different and everyone copes in their own way - you do what is best for you and YOUR family. No need to be answerable to anyone else.

This is genuinely one of those bits of life you will never have the chance to rerun.

You’ll regret it if you do something just because others seem to think they know what’s best for you and your DC.
Definitely one of those times where you should marshal your inner Sinatra and Do it Your Way

Ooh there’s some goady fuckers out tonight!

OP have you gone back to basics with your latch? I know it’s easy to let things slide when you’ve fed for so long and that’s when I would get issues like blebs 😬 definitely try and get little one positioned so their chin is on the blockage too. Hopefully antibiotics will help shift it.

If you want to stop then stop, if not don’t. My husband made lots of noises about night weaning our daughter but it turns out he didn’t actually want to have to do anything at night to help with this so I carried on feeding her as I was having to settle her anyway!

I might weaned mine both at 15 months and it massively improved their sleep which did improve all of our lives (I got DH to take over and co sleep with them in the night which made it much easier for all of us). I did happen to stop feeding them in the day around the same time but that was more of a coincidence so even if you night wean you can still do bedtime feeds and daytime feeds so it doesn’t mean you have to stop now

If you are (understandably) voicing to others that you are suffering with repeat mastitis and your toddler doesnt sleep well its natural that they will suggest you stop feeding. Its probably meant with the best intentions.

Does it make them right? No. Do you have to listen? Nope.

I think its generally accepted that ff bed babies (usually) sleep better/longer periods from an earlier age... but this doesnt necessarily toptrump the benefits of bf.

It probably wont solve all your problems but weaned correctly will obviously resolve the mastitis.

Your child will need to learn to settle without your boob at some stage (im not judging or telling you when this is).. its totally up to you if thats now or in 6 months time. Only you know how sleep deprived you are and when you are prepared to tackle this.

Or is there a middle ground? You night wean and dont offer the boob after 7? Will abviously be met with some resistance and undoubtedly a few hellish nights- but your sleep 'may' and you still get to enjoy breastfeeding?

Xx

@Onemorecrisp

“I really don’t understand why anyone would want to do this past age 1! They don’t need it.“

When are you presenting your evidence for this to the NHS and WHO, which both recommend breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years?

OP, my DD is 13 months and we still feed through the night. Recently I’ve started to push it back time wise - if she wakes before 3am she gets a cuddle and patting/shushing/singing, after 3am we mostly co sleep and she feeds. It hasn’t made any real difference to the frequency of wakes though and I feel like even if we totally night wean she’ll continue to wake through the night. You’re doing great to have got this far though, and I hope you feel better soon!

My 16 month old DS usually sleeps through but if he does wake once he has a bottle of warm milk and goes straight back to sleep. Oh no, call the over-one police.

I am still breastfeeding but not overnight and I haven't for about 4 months. He started sleeping through about 2 weeks ago. In my experience they sleep through when ready to, no sooner. That said I reckon DS would latch on in the night if we co-slept.

OP Absolutely fine fine for you to carry on breastfeeding!

But do not moan about repeated mastitis and poor sleep as this can easily be dealt with if you actually want to...

I bf DS until he was a bit over 3. He was a horrendous sleeper, his longest stretch of sleep was 2 hours until he was well over 2. I night weaned at about 14 months as everyone said it would help...it didn't. His sleep did improve from about 2 1/2 though, not down to anything I did, I really think it's developmental.

I had mastitis several times, and what felt like constant blocked ducts. DS had a tongue tie which we were advised didn't need snipping, so we left it. I now have a 1 year old, who I'm still feeding, and I've not had any mastitis or blocked ducts. Feeding her is completely different, I'm now convinced DS's latch was never right and this caused all the issues. Has your little one had anything happen (new teeth etc) that could have changed her latch or could she be sleepy at night so not latching properly or could she always have had an issue? Do you have a local bf support group? I never knew these existed, but my sister has had loads of help with bfing her twins, they have been amazing - just because you have an older baby feeding and not a newborn shouldn't mean they couldn't help and having someone check latching might help? Recurring mastitis is awful and draining, really hope you find a solution.

I stopped when my dd was 3!
Since I stopped bf it has improved her sleep 100%
This is the child that would wake up every hour wanting feeding to now sleeping through most nights.
Not saying that will happen with you and until you stop you wont know.
But if you dont want to stop then that is you decision and no one elses business.

Ignore the people telling you everything will get better when you stop breastfeeding. Some of those people will be motivated by concern but there are also a surprising number of people who like to goad anyone breastfeeding after 6 or 12 months or whatever nonsensical age they have in their heads.

I’m still breastfeeding DD and she’s well over 3yrs. She’s cut down all by herself and will gradually self-wean. I don’t give a damn now, after being bullied when feeding my younger children. Stop when you and DC choose to and ignore the people being helpful/spiteful.

But I would seek advice about the mastitis. There might be a BFing group near you who could help.

I do believe that night weaning might help with sleep, but I also think there's a fair chance it wouldn't. Both experiences have been shared here. I have a gut feeling that my DD is a wakey baby.

Been to the out of hours and got antibiotics. Doctor said she was feeding her baby too and told me well done for keeping going so that was nice.

I hope you feel better and get to the bottom of the cause OP. I'd agree about getting support to check latch.

Do what you feel is right for you both - and you will know. There are still loads of benefits in continuing feeding - the UK is weirdly anti BF but don't let these social norms influence you. You know the science. Follow your own heart/head.

You deserve a medal for keeping going through it all.

I ended up co sleeping. child helped themselves when required with minimal input.minimal waking. certainly not having to get up and hoik them out of a cot. and yes we had tried night weaning, but that just meant a lot of awake baby and getting up to hoik them out of a cot to settle. they gave up when they were ready and slept through when they were ready.

I'm still feeding at 19 months. I was planning on stopping when she is 2 but I think it will go beyond that. She's also a bad sleeper and still wakes up for milk in the night. My friends have mentioned I should stop and it really bugs me as I have told them time and time again I was aiming for 2 years. I've had mastitis once and it's so damn painful. Are you leaving too much time between feeds causing it to get blocked? If you want to carry on though I think you should!