To stop paying for after-school care at age 10

[hibbledobble]

Childcare is an absolute nightmare for me, and eye wateringly expensive. Current arrangement of having an au pair for school collections will no longer be an option soon due to leaving the EU, and no planned visa scheme for unskilled workers.

Nannies would be more than I earn, and also only tend to want full time hours. (I am a junior doctor, but earn less than London nanny wages)

The school's ASC is also pretty dire. Shouting at children, forcing them to sit in silence etc, then just penning them in, with no planned activities.

Wibu to allow oldest child to walk home alone aged 10? She is independent and street wise. Younger children would be cared for at nursery, but she is too old for this.

I think it is too young for every day yes. One day a week, fair enough. It’s more the emotional side than anything else.

Could you not find a student by advertising online?

My dd was only just 11 when she started secondary. Too young to leave alone. 12 is fine, but not only just 11

That depends on the child, surely? My niece is 9 and walks to/from school with her friends. Next year she'll be in year 6 and will occasionally go home to an empty house for an hour or so after school. The same with all her friends.

I wouldn't even consider paying for a childcare for a year seven.

No, my experience is opposite. All my friends have complained how hard it is to find childcare for y7 as they aren’t quite old enough.

As l said, all my dads friends retained care until about 2/2 way through y7. So it’s not just my child.

And in terms of safeguarding, would a 10 year old know how to get out of a house fire? What to do if someone has broken in?

I’ve been through a house fire. The room l was in destroyed in 4 minutes. Would l put my child in this position? No l wouldn’t.

I’m a teacher, a lot of bullying happens on the way home from school.

@adaline here in Ireland children don’t attend secondary school until they are at 12 going on 13 so our Afterschool has the children in 6th class, who are aged 11-12...it happens. They cannot walk home as the school is rural and the roads are small and windy. Some cycle in the summer but that’s about it!

Year 5 for dd3 I decided was fine.

My dd school sent all parents a letter at the start of year 6 asking if parents wanted their kids to walk home from school to sign a consent form.

If they walk home they have to bring in a phone as well. (Taken at start of day and given back at the end)

I've trialled it as I was in the same shoes as you OP. So before Xmas we did two days a week. It worked well so now I have increased it to 3 days a week. She waits an hour or so for me to get home. She knows in the event of an Energency to get out, we have a few great neighbours that she knows to go to if needed and has her phone too.

I understand how difficult it is as a single parent, I also believe you about the sub standard school afterschol club. At our school the year 6s and year 5s are allowed to walk home with parental permission.
I think her being alone at home is the issue. If you are in central London could you arrange reciprocal play dates with school friends so you have their children sometimes?

I’d report the after school club to Ofsted too

Tricky one. If it's for a relatively short time and she had an adult she could call on, I would consider it. TBH, it does not sound like the money that's the problem, so much as the club atmosphere. I would be looking around at other after school activities - my area has gymnastics, football, coding club and a homework group at the local library.

Finally, take a look on babysitters.com. There's a lot of students on there and you might be able to arrange one or two on a regular basis, in her home.

I was walking home independently at the age of 9!

Route was off road though so pretty safe.

I'd let your daughter do this at 10. People are too mollycoddling these days!

So age 10 in Yr5? Personally I wouldn’t. I’d be happy to let mine walk to school at 10 but it’s close and we live in a lovely place. She would be ok with that but would hate coming back to an an empty house. Even in Yr 7 it’s ok for an hour or so but any longer on their own isn’t good I don’t think. I know we did it in the 80s but too much time alone and social media etc aren’t a good mix.

You don't say how far it is to walk or for now long she would be alone for(unless I misread the op and therefore I apologise)..
But based on what you have said,I would not leave a ten ?year old to walk home alone and remain alone at home,no matter how streetwise she might be.
She needs an adult there and it's too much responsibility on young shoulders.
I completely understand I've been in your shoes for many years.
Can a school mum pick her up and have her and then you take them both to school and take them both home on your days off ?
It's a complete nightmare being in this situation but you would feel better knowing she is safe with another adult.

Depends on the child.

My 10, almost 11 year old would not be happy with this.

You could try a non-EU nanny

No changes have been announced to domestic worker visas for non-EU nationals. And it is quite possible that EU au pairs will be added to that scheme before end of transition period, even though they no-one has got round to it yet.

Nope, 10 is too young for the responsibility of coming home to an empty house!

If she's fine with it then it's ok. Remember there's tech like FaceTime, Alexa and find-my-friend apps to help kids keep in touch with parents now and offer some reassurance. My 10 year old is random though she was ok to walk to her friends but would not stay by herself for 10 mins whilst I dropped one off at Rainbows and that was on the same day 🤷‍♀️

Sorry - stupid 'brain in neutral ' moment

I meant non-Eu au pair of course, not 'nanny'

Mine walked home on her own at 10, but was only in the house alone for a short while till someone else was home. How long would they be home alone for?

It's a 10 minute walk to school. If she did after-school activity clubs (which are better quality provision, but shorter than the childcare provision) she would be alone for under an hour

I also need to factor in daylight as well, so maybe this is best just in the summer term

Moving out of London isn't an option as I get lots of family help with childcare (but they aren't willing to help out every day). My training programme also is in London, and it's unlikely a transfer would be granted.

Library clubs are a good idea, around here (not London) there are kids clubs in churches, library, commercial clubs too..

around here, they start walking to school and back from year 5 onwards (3 tier system so they all start walking to school on their own own or with friends from year 5). I live in a quiet little town though, so it depends a0on the safety of the route/walk home and b) the maturity of your child.

No absolutely not at 10. Is she year 5? Happy to walk home at year 6 but no to an empty house until secondary

Childminders in my area are around £5ph - your kid could be collected and stay at childminders house until you get back.

There are also British after school childcarers

I don’t think it’s a good plan at allto put that level of responsibility on a 10 year old just to save you money.

Do you work shifts? Are you home some days? Can you have an arrangement with other parents to share after school care?

I get if she’s your eldest she probably seems mature next to the little ones but 10 is very very young for this.