Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this person was rude to my DD?

128 replies

DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 15:03

DD (17) needed to get something printed and bound for one of her A levels. I had phoned a print shop I use locally and agreed I would pay for it later by bank transfer.

When she picked it up today they gave her an invoice and she asked, "What do I need to do with this - do I need to fill it in or anything?"

She says the woman on the desk made a face and said "You need to pay it!" then asked him how old she was. When she told her '17' she said "by the time I was your age, I had left home and was living on my own."

DD has dyslexia and some processing issues (so can come across as a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, I know) but AIBU to think this was still pretty rude?

OP posts:
Crystal87 · 22/02/2020 17:50

It reminds me of when I was 16 on a school placement while doing my childcare training. I was told to ask a certain teacher to show me how to use the photocopier. This teacher made it clear she was above all that and spoke to me like crap. She obviously thought age and experience of photocopiers equalled superiority but she was just a mean bitch.

Motherhippo · 22/02/2020 17:51

For those criticising that the girl did not know what an invoice was... don't be so judgemental. I work in a bank and I've met people that are middle aged that didn't know the difference between a debit card and a credit card or what an overdraft was. You could argue that these people were morons. Or they've never had to know what these products/services are before so are a bit clueless. Just because you know what a word means doesn't make someone else an idiot because they don't.
Poor customer service on the ladies part. If the girl had asked me what to do with the invoice. I would have just explained what an invoice actually is
For example: "This is a breakdown of the bill for the service we've provided. The total payment due is down at the bottom"

Cheeryandmerry · 22/02/2020 17:53

Rude and patronising. I wouldn’t be interested in her opinion, background or whatever. It would’ve been just as rude had the customer offered an unwanted and irrelevant observation on the issue.

lotusbell · 22/02/2020 17:55

I cant believe that people can't believe that a 17 year old may not know what an invoice is! At 17 I was studying A-Levels and working part time in my local co-op but had no reason to come into contact with an invoice. Funny innit? Hmm

5zeds · 22/02/2020 17:59

You could ask her how old she is and then tell her how much better you were in every way at that age.Grin

SnoozyLou · 22/02/2020 18:08

She clearly missed out on finishing school.

Of course it was rude, and not particularly bright, given small traders like that can be made or broken by their reputation.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 22/02/2020 18:09

I cant remember if i knew what an invoice was or not at that age , too long ago

I dont expect 17 year olds to know everything though (even if some think they do) so wouldn't patronise one if they asked me a question about something

Deadringer · 22/02/2020 18:19

When I worked in retail it always amazed me that some customers couldn't work out very basic discounts in their heads, ie 10% of 10 quid, I was never rude enough to mention it though.

maddiemookins16mum · 22/02/2020 18:25

I would have thought it easier to give her the money to go.

totallydevoidofideas · 22/02/2020 18:29

She was a rude cow who wanted to show how she was 'superior' to a young woman. It was unnecessary to say that in such a way to your dd and although you are maybe a bit more protective of your dd than others might be, you are not unreasonable at all. The woman was rude to a customer for no reason at all.

Daftodil · 22/02/2020 18:35

Yes, she was rude (and her life story is unnecessary and irrelevant).

At 17 I probably knew what an invoice was in theory, but I doubt I had ever seen one so probably would've asked too if I needed to fill it out or what needed doing with it.

Add to the fact that this is 2020. Most 17 year olds pay for stuff with a tap on their phone or by waving their watch at something, I doubt many have seen a paper invoice. A middle aged person would be outraged if your DS said "don't you know how to do that?!" in a similar tone if they were talking about Apple Pay or something.

Graphista · 22/02/2020 18:40

I left home young too - absolutely no excuse for this rudeness and poor customer service.

I’d be taking my business elsewhere too and telling them why. It’s the only way customer service has a chance of improving. Companies don’t change things unless it costs them!

With this particular business with the nature of it, what’s happened is actually a great way of them shooting themselves in the foot as I imagine a fair bit of business comes from students or parents of students and you could not be blamed at all for letting others locally know that they are patronising towards younger customers.

“Most 17 year olds would know what an invoice is.” Rubbish!!

Not least because few companies operate this way now. Most businesses you pay upfront for the type of services and retail 17 year olds are likely to use!

I didn’t know what an invoice was at that age and neither did my dd she never had one until she was 18, so why would she? Or I? I’d never had one till I was an adult either.

NO WAY would this person have spoken to an older customer like this!

In fact I’d be tempted to send someone older in asking the exact same and see what response they get!

But yes, I’d be voting with my purse.

Unfortunately such attitudes are not uncommon. My dd and some of her friends (only about 8 in total) went to a venue to partake in an activity popular with her age group. They were old enough to go alone, well behaved children. The person initially serving them was an arsehole about it!

It’s an activity frequently undertaken on a group level yet she tried to tell them they couldn’t be admitted as a group.

Then dd (politely but assertively, she “role played” it out for me) pointed out that they had a variety of discounts available based on group size.

Person ummed and Ahhed and then completely made up a rule that groups of certain sizes had to be accompanied by an adult - not true, nothing stating that and they’d been several times before

Then when they were paying she said they couldn’t have the group discount if they were paying “separately” but they weren’t paying separately dd merely did it that everyone gave her their share and she would then be the person
paying...

By this point dd had pretty much had enough and asked to speak to the manager.

Person at first tried to stop her from doing so but dd insisted.

Manager came to speak to dd, dd explained what had happened and manager admitted that was NOT what should have happened at all, apologised profusely, other person had to apologise and then processed dds booking with an additional 20% discount AND a voucher for another visit for all of them.

I can well imagine that the employee who dd had been dealing with got quite a ticking off and indeed the next time dd and her friends visited was very helpful and polite (which she should have been in the first place!)

It’s absolutely unacceptable to be rude to customers.

I'd complain to the manager, but then I'm really petty about things like this op has said this was the OWNER speaking to her daughter. Pretty stupid in terms of encouraging more custom!

“Then they loudly wonder why so many people would rather shop online. Yes, sure. It is s total mystery!” So true! The edge real life shops SHOULD have over online shopping is good, friendly, personalised service but I agree the majority of British retailers seem oblivious to that fact and then bemoan they’re being outdone by online retailers!

“and not particularly bright, given small traders like that can be made or broken by their reputation.” Exactly!

We used to have a fantastic “greasy spoon” cafe here been running for many years very successfully, always full. When the owners retired (their dc had moved to other towns and opened their own places which were also doing very well) the people who bought it were clueless!

They changed the menu to fancy coffees/paninis/salads & similar, made it table service but the wait staff were poor, and the customer service was grumpy and miserable!

Place closed in 6 months! And apparently the owners didn’t understand what went wrong and put it down to people only having gone before because they knew the owners!

No! People had gone before because:

It was the only place locally that did a full but basic “greasy spoon” menu - cooked breakfasts, hot rolls, chips with everything BUT home made chips and home made good quality accompaniments, the macaroni cheese was amazing. Soups and stews, massive baked potatoes cooked properly (not microwaved) with proper crispy skins, and basic popular cakes and pastries like scones, tea cakes, shortbread, strawberry tarts... pots of tea and ice cream sodas.

Had a democratic “first come first served” you buy before you sit setup - so no people hogging tables while someone else finished shopping elsewhere.

Good, very friendly service, spoke to the children and did “jokes” and “magic tricks” with them, let them choose what colour straw in their soda (minor to an adult great for a kid), remembered you as a “regular” after only a few visits “2 sugars and milk right?” “Are we having baked potato today or blowing out on a breakfast?” Lovely lighthearted atmosphere, a few of the waitresses (some dishes you had to wait to get eg if they’d just put a new batch of chips on) were related to the owners or to each other and we’d hear family anecdotes etc

It was lovely.

New people completely ruined all that, sacked all the old staff, changed EVERYTHING.

Now change happens fair enough but these guys took on an existing business with a certain ethos/selling point and then removed the very thing that the customers wanted!

81Byerley · 22/02/2020 18:50

When my daughter was 16 she went to the GP. It was not only her first visit alone, she actually hadn't been to the doctor since she was a baby, so when the doctor gave her a prescription, she asked her what she had to do with it. The GP spoke to her as if she was an idiot. It is impossible to reproduce a tone of voice, so I won't try. I feel for your daughter. There is no excuse for that woman's rudeness towards your daughter.

TheNoodlesIncident · 22/02/2020 18:54

The manager could have said "it tells you how much you'll need to pay". No need for unnecessary comparisons, especially ones designed to make the customer feel small.

We had a client who filled in a cheque incorrectly, the bank wouldn't have accepted it. Rather than railing our Dutch client who hadn't completed one before, I told her how to do it. No need for sarkiness whatsoever.

And this:

When teaching, I always encouraged questions, because that's how people learn. I knew that some students didn't want to ask in case they looked stupid for not knowing. I always pointed out that asking questions shows the opposite: you're smart enough to realise there's something else you need to know, then you take appropriate action to gain that knowledge.

I can't stand it when I hear someone put down for asking a question. Please tell your daughter, from me, it was a perfectly good question!

BOB ON

CSIblonde · 22/02/2020 19:03

It was a bit abrupt. I'd have known what an invoice was, so would most of the teens I know, as their parents are very into making sure they can navigate the world financially etc. But f your DD has dyslexia & processing issues etc I'd probably have given her cash, as binding etc can't be more than a few quid. Use it as a learning tool maybe re paying, selling & money in general.

Justloungingaround · 22/02/2020 19:11

I think it was very rude.

Your dd didn't know what an invoice was. The polite and kind thing would have been for the woman to tell her nicely what it was. I bet she wouldn't have spoken to an older person like that.

Hamptonbishop1111 · 22/02/2020 19:12

I’m in my early 20s and would’ve been as puzzled as your DD.
For those of you who can’t beljeve a 17 wouldn’t know what to do with an invoice, I had friends when I was 20 whose parents would book doctors and hair appointments for them so it’s hardly that shocking about the invoice

Justloungingaround · 22/02/2020 19:18

I cant believe that people can't believe that a 17 year old may not know what an invoice is! At 17 I was studying A-Levels and working part time in my local co-op but had no reason to come into contact with an invoice. Funny innit?

Same here, and even if you knew what an invoice was in theory, it doesn't mean you've ever been handed one or would know if it needed signing or anything.

SnoozyLou · 22/02/2020 19:22

I knew at 17, since it was part of my job and I had to know. If it hadn't been, I wouldn't have known 🤷‍♀️

Nobody gave me a special prize though. I feel a bit cheated now.

The shop assistant clearly has a chip on her shoulder. Just as well DD didn't pick up on it. If it was me, I wouldn't use the shop anymore. I might even leave her a crappy review.

Livelovebehappy · 22/02/2020 19:29

TBH your dd will just have to grow a thicker skin. There are many many people around with poor people skills etc, and she will come across lots of comments in her life time that may be rude or unpleasant. I’m way older than your dd and have encounters with people daily who have poor attitude, but that’s people for you. You just learn how to deal with it in your own way.

AlpineSnow · 22/02/2020 19:44

Of course it was rude, and not particularly bright, given small traders like that can be made or broken by their reputation
Yes, and we know what town the print shop is in by looking at the OP's username!

PixieDustt · 22/02/2020 19:52

Yes it was rude she didn't need to state what she done at 17 and belittle your DD.
I would have told her to keep the invoice to wipe her arse with the cheeky bitch.

DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 20:20

AlpineSnow - shop was not in the same town as my username!

(I don't want to accidentally put any local print shops out of business Shock)

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 22/02/2020 21:54

Most 17 year olds wouldnt know what an invoice is. It's quite outdated and if you've never been in business why would you know what it is.

Barbie222 · 22/02/2020 21:56

Hmmm on face value I'd suspect it had something to do with your daughters tone of voice and delivery if those were the exact words she used. I can imagine how that sentence could be delivered in a very annoying teenage way.