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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this person was rude to my DD?

128 replies

DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 15:03

DD (17) needed to get something printed and bound for one of her A levels. I had phoned a print shop I use locally and agreed I would pay for it later by bank transfer.

When she picked it up today they gave her an invoice and she asked, "What do I need to do with this - do I need to fill it in or anything?"

She says the woman on the desk made a face and said "You need to pay it!" then asked him how old she was. When she told her '17' she said "by the time I was your age, I had left home and was living on my own."

DD has dyslexia and some processing issues (so can come across as a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, I know) but AIBU to think this was still pretty rude?

OP posts:
janemaster · 22/02/2020 17:06

@Awwlookatmybabyspider I am with those saying that some people are rude and unpleasant. Everyone needs to find a way to deal with this, because it is part of life.

BackOnThatRollerCoaster · 22/02/2020 17:07

DD works in customer service and finds the rudest people are middle aged people, almost like they are trying to score points.. I agree, young people are far politer in general I find (middle-aged myself and work with teenagers)
Yes, the woman didnt need to pull a face. I've seen that patronising face too and yes, a minimal problem maybe, but unnecessary

itsgettingweird · 22/02/2020 17:07

"You need to pay it" probably wasn't rude as such - but it is blunt!

The dig about leaving home and living alone etc was down right rude and judgemental.

janemaster · 22/02/2020 17:08

@sqirrelfriends Everyone should be taught how to address and post a letter. It is a basic skill in the workplace to write a letter and address an envelope. So yes I would expect that level of knowledge.
Better check now if my DCs can do it okay!!

janemaster · 22/02/2020 17:09

@BackOnThatRollerCoaster I am not excusing rudeness. But surveys all say that middle aged people are the most unhappy, stressed and depressed part of the population.

woodchuck99 · 22/02/2020 17:10

Yes, she was very rude. Some adults are really obnoxious to teenagers. My teenagers have often mentioned it. I think it's because they don't expect them to stand up for themselves. I have taught mine to politely answer back if they want to because I don't see why they should have to put up with anything adults wouldn't have to put up with.

Cam77 · 22/02/2020 17:19

Invoicing someone for a few quid (printing some stuff out? what like 5- 20 quid or something?) is pretty weird and overly formal surely.
Many people go through their whole life without getting an invoice!

NotALurker2 · 22/02/2020 17:20

This is rude whether your DD has dyslexia and processing issues or not. No way they would speak to her like that in front of you, either. I would not make a big deal of it with your DD, though -- all of us get treated rudely in life occasionally, so that's just part of life. That's a guarantee. Let her know that it's not her.

Deckthehallswithlotsofcake · 22/02/2020 17:20

This kind of behaviour from shop keepers is very normal, I find. Then they loudly wonder why so many people would rather shop online. Yes, sure. It is s total mystery!

Potatobug · 22/02/2020 17:27

Yes, rude cow.

rosinavera · 22/02/2020 17:31

Absolutely rude and I would definitely take my business elsewhere if I were you. Can't believe the posters on here minimising it!

TheGnusShoes · 22/02/2020 17:32

Seriously, if your dd can’t brush off a blunt comment like this, she’s got no chance.

Well some people are more sensitive than others (just as you said earlier that some people are just "outspoken" ie rude bastards) it doesn't mean she's got "no chance" Hmm it's ok to feel upset or bothered when some rude fucker belittles you, especially if as often happens you think of a good come back 30 mins later Angry

UnitedRoad · 22/02/2020 17:32

I don’t think my daughters would know what an invoice is either. They’re 18 and 21, and the youngest left home a year ago.

MrsNoah2020 · 22/02/2020 17:35

This kind of behaviour from shop keepers is very normal, I find. Then they loudly wonder why so many people would rather shop online

Agree. I remember getting this sort of treatment a lot as a teenager. And I wouldn't have known what an invoice - as opposed to a bill - was either, even though I had been in the workplace (part-time) since I was 14.

TheGnusShoes · 22/02/2020 17:35

Sounds like a horrible cow. I'd complain to the manager, but then I'm really petty about things like this 

I like you Grin

RedRec · 22/02/2020 17:38

It was rude and unkind. And very bad customer service. I would definitely take my business somewhere else - can't be doing with sneering. Or complacency.

Crystal87 · 22/02/2020 17:39

She was rude. I can't stand people who go out their way to be nasty and rude for the sake of it.

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 22/02/2020 17:41

@pictish
The shopkeeper is commenting🤦‍♀️🥶🤯
It was you wasn't it!

TheGnusShoes · 22/02/2020 17:42

It would lovely if everyone was kind...but in reality these people are everywhere. They’re the woman on the bus giving you unsolicited parenting advice. They’re the hatchet-faced doctor’s receptionist who is brusque on the phone. They’re the surly mechanic who looks at you as though you are an idiot. They are the interfering neighbour who has something to say about your garden.

They're the unsympathetic poster on Mumsnet Wink

But honestly, it's ok to be upset about things occasionally, why do some people think it isn't Confused? It's completely normal! I'm sure OP will go on with her life but it's ok to feel how you feel and you don't need to justify it. I'm probably sensitive (and I have terrible social anxiety) and I would be upset by this, so what?

missyB1 · 22/02/2020 17:43

Yep bloody rude! I had a shop assistant speak to me like that the other day and I’m 51! It was a man who probably thought he was fucking hilarious 🙄 I just gave him my death stare in absolute silence (you could hear the tumbleweed) and he looked really embarrassed.
But to try and belittle a teenager is just pathetic, some people are just pricks.

Oh and no I wouldn’t have known what an invoice was when I was 17. Not all of us worked in offices. I was nurse at that age also living away from home.

pelirocco123 · 22/02/2020 17:43

I would expect to be paid before I handed the goods over ...as a business owner who has customers who are surprised they need to pay

lazylinguist · 22/02/2020 17:44

Of course it's bloody rude! Would a 40 yo expect to be spoken to like that in a shop? No. So why should a 17 year-old? I wouldn't have known what an invoice was when I was 17 either, probably. Your dd should have said "Congratulations Hmm" to the rude shop assistant's "I'd left home by 17" comment.

Rainbowunicat · 22/02/2020 17:45

Can someone who thinks a 17 year old should know what an invoice is please explain to me where you'd expect them to have come across one?
I just can't picture it. Perhaps in online shopping you get something that looks like an invoice, but it's actually just a receipt, as you've already paid.
What kind of businesses, that are used by under 17s, actually provide a service and then invoice the customer? I can't think of anything at all.

BigTeaCup · 22/02/2020 17:46

I’m surprised a 17 year old doesn’t know what an invoice is

Really? I'd never seen one by that age because I bought everything cash. What would I be getting invoices for

BigTeaCup · 22/02/2020 17:47

And just to say I was living in a hostel at 17 and paid everything myself, direct debits etc, receipts from online purchases, but no invoices!