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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this person was rude to my DD?

128 replies

DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 15:03

DD (17) needed to get something printed and bound for one of her A levels. I had phoned a print shop I use locally and agreed I would pay for it later by bank transfer.

When she picked it up today they gave her an invoice and she asked, "What do I need to do with this - do I need to fill it in or anything?"

She says the woman on the desk made a face and said "You need to pay it!" then asked him how old she was. When she told her '17' she said "by the time I was your age, I had left home and was living on my own."

DD has dyslexia and some processing issues (so can come across as a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, I know) but AIBU to think this was still pretty rude?

OP posts:
derxa · 22/02/2020 16:29

I didn't know what an invoice was the first time I saw one. They're rarely used any more in this country. I get invoices every bloody week.

Topseyt · 22/02/2020 16:30

Yes, I would call it rude.

All she needed to do was tell DD that the invoice was to be given to you so that you could make the bank transfer. She didn't need to comment any further or to patronise her.

pictish · 22/02/2020 16:30

Oh dear...how will she and indeed you, recover from such an affront?

Look, you get outspoken people everywhere. The woman has no filter and said what she thought - that she was more independent and canny at 17 than your daughter appears (to her) to be...and maybe she’s right.

Forget about it.

Original poster
DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 16:31

@wotsittoyou

Your DD didn't know what an invoice was; now she does. That's great, no?

Yes, but she didn't need to be ridiculed to be told this?

OP posts:
Hamptonbishop1111 · 22/02/2020 16:31

It was very rude. You don’t speak like that to people especially ones you know nothing about

Dylaninthemovies1 · 22/02/2020 16:32

I think it’s very rude.

I’ve worked in finance for years but if someone just slapped an invoice at me I’d ask what for (ie, do i need to pay now or later)

SachaStark · 22/02/2020 16:32

Urgh, I hate “outspoken” people. They are invariably rude and lack tact. I used to work in the same department as an “I just speak my mind” kind of person.

Everybody hated them.

MintyMabel · 22/02/2020 16:33

They're rarely used any more in this country.

Which country. Not the UK surely? Invoices are very much used here.

pictish · 22/02/2020 16:33

Seriously, if your dd can’t brush off a blunt comment like this, she’s got no chance.

74NewStreet · 22/02/2020 16:34

What has supposedly taken the place of an invoice, if they’re “rarely used anymore”? Confused. What nonsense!

Bluntness100 · 22/02/2020 16:35

Is this maybe her interpretation of what occurred op? I often find these things don’t play out to an onlooker as as those involved in many cases.

I would think she should know what an invoice is, and she does now. Take the positive. Stop focusing on the negative.

pictish · 22/02/2020 16:35

When you meet these people you simply say “oh fuck off” in your head and get on with your day. You have to.

AmelieTaylor · 22/02/2020 16:40

It was a rude (& stupid) way to speak to a customer, no matter their age. You’d think as it’s her business she’d have more sense.

I certainly would have known what an invoice was at her age, but I have NO. Doubt she could run rings around me re anything technology based 🤣. They’re growing up in an entirely different world.

But the main thing here is that the woman, even if she though that DD should have know what an invoice was, was rude making the comments she made. Plus having an arrangement with you, all she needed was to say ‘just give it to your Mum please’

Valleychalet · 22/02/2020 16:41

You don't need to be offended or upset by something to think it's a rude thing to say, nowhere has OP said that her DD is inconsolable and crying over it. Commenting on how a customer lives their life is bad form, making a snide remark to make her feel inferior for still living at home is rude

Itwasntme1 · 22/02/2020 16:41

I would be thrown by being handed an invoice, and I am a lot older than your daughter! They are used for rarely these days and usually only for much bigger items.

The woman was rude and superior. I wouldn’t expect a teenager to understand, and if ask would have explained it’s the bill for her mum to settle.

Why can’t people just be kind and helpful😊.

Original poster
DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 16:42

Thanks pictish, really helpful comment Hmm

No one is affronted. No one is struggling to cope...
I haven't said anything anywhere about how DD felt. In fact, because of her processing issues she probably didn't fully pick up on the fact that she was being mocked. The only reason she mentioned it was because she said the woman seemed a bit 'off' and also asked her age.

I raised it here because I'm genuinely interested to see if I was just feeling over-protective, or whether others also thought it was a bit rude.

OP posts:
gromberry · 22/02/2020 16:47

Sounds like a horrible cow. I'd complain to the manager, but then I'm really petty about things like this Grin

SwansGlide · 22/02/2020 16:50

It was definitely rude IMO, she could/should have explained what it was and kept her opinions on your DD's age etc to herself. Completely irrelevant. Also sounds to me like lady had some issues with having left home and being on her own at 17 otherwise why bring it up with a customer in a shop? Why does a customer need to hear her life story?

Having said all that, I was an educated but in some ways fairly green 17yo myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish I'd been more informed about some business-y things you don't learn about in books or at school, such as what invoices are, how mortgages work, delivery notes, guarantees, the difference between net and gross profit etc, what a float is (in a shop). It's not exactly necessary info but it's useful life info as it were.

Original poster
DorkingMum · 22/02/2020 16:53

@gromberry She IS the manager! Confused

OP posts:
derxa · 22/02/2020 16:54

What has supposedly taken the place of an invoice, if they’re “rarely used anymore”? confused. What nonsense! Exactly. Unless I live in an alternate universe.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/02/2020 16:59

Whether she should or shouldn’t know what an invoice is, is neither here nor there.
It was down right rude. All this teenagers should have respect. Is it anyone wonder some of them don’t. (I don’t mean your dd op just talking in general) To get respect you have to give it.

pictish · 22/02/2020 17:02

It would lovely if everyone was kind...but in reality these people are everywhere. They’re the woman on the bus giving you unsolicited parenting advice. They’re the hatchet-faced doctor’s receptionist who is brusque on the phone. They’re the surly mechanic who looks at you as though you are an idiot. They are the interfering neighbour who has something to say about your garden. We need to be able to brush them off.
Yes it’s rude...but it’s also really common. That you have been needled enough to write a post about this says someone has taken it to heart.
I’m saying don’t.

Itwasntme1 · 22/02/2020 17:02

Maybe I just don’t get invoices. Usually if I buy something they tell me why I owe it and I pay it?

I got an invoice years ago for some building work. Don't think I have had one since?

Probably had the woman just said this is the bill, a teenager would have understood?

Rosehip10 · 22/02/2020 17:04

I'm shocked at the number of people saying "I wouldn't have known what an invoice was at 17 either" Confused

sqirrelfriends · 22/02/2020 17:05

Are 17 year olds really meant to know what an invoice is. I've met young people at work who don't know how to address or post a letter, I very much doubt they would know what to do with an invoice.