Adult thumb sucking

[Chester1980]

My 40 year old husband sucks his thumb. He does it at home, but not in public (although if he’s drunk he might try and sneak a quick thumb suck). He asl has a blanket. He can’t sleep without it and whenever at home and relaxing he is always sucking and pulling the blanket through his fingers.

I know this is selfish, but he puts this before being affectionate to me. He doesn’t like cuddles etc unless he’s horny. It’s like he’s in this little world and in a daze when he’s got his blanket and thumb.

We’ve spoken about it - I won’t push him to stop, but did mention that as our toddler gets older he might tell people and he should be prepared. He said he can give up whenever, but it never happened.

I just want to see if there are other adult thumb suckers out there who are the same? Does my husband have a deep routed anxiety that this is soothing, or is it just a habit?
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@Chickychoccyegg thank you x

@TeddyIsaHe exactly!! :)

@Chester1980 how is he with affection with the DC?

Who is it harming? If it's getting in the way of your relationship then he needs to compromise.

Ignore the pearl-clutching OP

@Bikerider2020 he’s brilliant. Absolutely dotes on him and gives him plenty of snuggles. He’s not the best with the day to day care, but that’s more probably because I’m still breastfeeding my son, so he comes to me for comfort when he’s upset. So if my son starts crying...he’ll say “where’s mummy”.

*Who is it harming? If it's getting in the way of your relationship then he needs to compromise.

@LadyEggs* did you read the OP? She stated no affection unless he wants a shag, otherwise he is immersed in his thumb and blanket!

Ignore the posters who don't even read the first post OP!

I couldn't be with a guy who sucked his thumb, nevermind had a 'blankie'.

Christ, what a turn off!

Bikerider2020 he’s brilliant. Absolutely dotes on him and gives him plenty of snuggles. He’s not the best with the day to day care, but that’s more probably because I’m still breastfeeding my son, so he comes to me for comfort when he’s upset. So if my son starts crying...he’ll say “where’s mummy”.

In that case I think they may be totally unrelated. I know you're going too but you have to have the discussion,

@ohnooutofdateham
Agreed, how could you be attracted to man that drags a blanky about and sucks his thumb? 🤢

He’s not the best with the day to day care
hes an amazing dad
hmm🤔
OP doing her best to convince herself about this man child, I don’t know how you even got to marriage and a child with his infantile behaviour 🙄

I personally wouldn't call a dad a great dad if he wasn't good with the day to day stuff, that's what makes a great dad. Being there for the real grind every single day and not just being a Disney dad is a great dad. OP I think you've got bigger issues than the thumb sucking and blankie.

@Shortfeet

Absobloodylutely typical mumsnet that so many come out the woodwork to cry “dealbreaker”

Absobloodylutely typical mumsnet that so many come out the woodwork to post their own VALID opinions that they are ENTITLED to.

Corrected that for you.......

@Chester1980

Now that’s what I mean by helpful comments posting stuff I want to hear. anotherlittlechicken

And I have corrected that for YOU.

You're welcome.

@LadyEggs

Ignore the pearl-clutching people posting perfectly valid opinions OP.

Corrected that for you too!

@Bikerider2020

did you read the OP ladyeggs? She stated no affection unless he wants a shag, otherwise he is immersed in his thumb and blanket!

Yeah this. People clearly only reading/seeing what they want to hear and see!

(As if it isn't bad enough that the OP has been doing this all through the thread!)

@anotherlittlechicken I don't understand what you're correcting for me?

@Bikerider2020

I wasn't correcting anything of yours. I was agreeing with you.

I was agreeing with you, that some posters are only seeing what they want to see, and ignoring the negative. Sorry. Probably the way my post was worded!

Ahh fair enough @anotherlittlechicken

@anotherlittlechicken I had agreed with a comment that @Bikerider2020 had made....so I’m not sure what you’re getting at saying that I’m ignoring things I don’t want to hear?

This conversation has been eye opening. There's no way I'd make it to marriage with an adult who sucked their thumb, but I guess everyone's different

It would make me retch. Sorry. I can't stomach saliva fingers. Even on my own children! Gip.

Still reading thread but this:

God the attitudes of people on here. Men not being manly enough! Obviously there’s something wrong with them hmm No wonder male suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45. Because they can’t have even a slight flaw that may make them seem less masculine.

I’m not sure it’s the “masculine” thing that people are really referring to, if they stop to think of it,I think it’s more that people want to see adult behaviour in an adult rather than baby behaviour that other adults grew out of in childhood.

I don’t think many of us for whom this would be a deal breaker would have any issues with a man showing his feelings, crying, or enjoying cuddles etc. And I think the same people would be equally as horrified as a grown woman displaying childlike behaviours too.

Out of interest what are your teeth like, all you adult thumb suckers? Just wondering as my 4 year old still sucks hers at night and the dentist has been on my back about it saying it will ruin her teeth forever!

Absolutely dotes on him and gives him plenty of snuggles

So he CAN do non-sexual snuggles for one of his family members who he thinks needs it, but not for you? Hmmmm. That’s pretty messed up, don’t you think?

I could not sit there with a fully grown man sucking his thumb and cuddling a blankie
If the romance wasnt dead already, that would certainly kill it off for me.

@upthewolves for my husband, his teeth are generally fine. You wouldn’t know. A girl I went to school with nearly 30 years ago would suck two fingers and she still has quite buck teeth from it. I don’t know if she ever tried braces though.

@CurlyhairedAssassin yes - I know. I don’t know what to think :(