AIBU to get annoyed at drivers who let me out of side streets or in traffic?

[Manchestermanchester]

I turn right into work every day. There is a turning lane and there are many business where I work. The traffic coming towards me isn’t bad as there is a set of traffic lights that keeps the traffic light.

However I’m always getting flashed to turn right when I don’t see the point - I can wait an extra few seconds for cars to pass.

This annoys me because I’ve already got it in my mind to turn right when the road is clear (it’s never more than a few cars). It’s not just a simple case of turning right as soon as I get flashed - I have to look to see there are no cyclists (we have plenty), that there are no pedestrians are crossing the road and check again to make sure the road is also clear and the driver has travelled at speed to me and will crash into me. Waiting for a few cars to pass, which takes a few seconds seems the preferable way.

There is also the insurance issue. If I turned and I crashed into the other car, or indeed a car that stopped in front of the car letting me out, I’m at fault. Furthermore I might get rear ended. Plus I don’t flash people a thank you for letting me through. It’s too easy to mistake that for “come over through” plus I’ve got to have both hands on the steering wheel.

No doubt I’ll get a bunch of people saying I’m rude or whatever, are you going to pay for my insurance claim?

Tbh Op you sound like you shouldn't be on the road if your not confident in managing said scenario.

This happens me turning into where I live. It's so annoying. They're not in charge of the road. There's a filter light to allow me to turn. There's no need to do it!!

It is more courteous to do things like indicate correctly and not tailgating.

There is a road near me that has a difficult crossing for pedestrians, it is very close to a yellow box that is ignored by a lot of drivers, so it is extremely difficult to judge if you can walk, you never know if the traffic lights change, if the people in the box might set off.

I was waiting there to cross the other day and 2 young lads of about 10 were also waiting. They were obviously unsure and kept looking at each other out moving hesitantly. When the traffic slowed and people were waiting on the other side of the box, a woman in the lane close to use gestured them to go, there was a whole other lane she hadn't checked with traffic moving, and then the woman behind her started to overtake, but she was still gesturing these kids quite insistently. Thankfully I was there but if they were on their own they might have given in to the pressure and crossed.

I think when it comes to pedestrians, drivers shouldn't indicate for people to cross for reasons like this.

OP, you are responsible for your own actions. Just because another driver has flashed you does not mean that they are saying that they have checked every possible hazard in each and every direction and that you are totally safe to proceed. That is your responsibility. What they are saying is that they are willing to allow you to move in front/across them, or whatever the layout of the junction is.

At the end of the day it is up to you to make sure any manoeuvre you make is safe. Most drivers flash others out as a way of being courteous but you cannot rely on other drivers' decision making and then think you can blame them when an accident occurs.

Usually most people only do this when the road ahead of them is at a standstill or is moving very slowly and therefore holding up the traffic behind them by letting you out is not really going to cause any inconvenience to anyone.

If you're not happy that it's safe for you to move, then DON'T. But please don't blame someone else for making the decisions you should be making. Politely wave them on, and if they get shirty, then so what, the world won't end.

*Close to use - close to us

I will often let people out of side streets because I know how frustrating it is to sit waiting as a constant stream of traffic. I will also leave plenty of space for someone turning right, or slow down so they can make the turn.

Basic consideration and courteous driving.

Doesn't have to mean causing a traffic jam behind you, and of course the onus is on the other driver to make sure the turn is safe. OP's attitude is frankly ridiculous, and not saying thank you because she has to keep both hands on the wheel.... jeezo.

Megletthesecond. Assuming you are turning right. The driver that is ‘flashing’ you has cleared one lane for you. You go when the lane you are turning into is also clear. The flashing driver should wait until it is safe for you to go. That is how it works.
When I took driving lessons many years ago, considerate drivers would occasionally let me go, because I was a newbie. ( old school driving instructor would state ‘oh look they are letting you go’)So although it doesn’t expressly state this unwritten rule of the road in the Highway Code ‘letting people out’ keeps the traffic flowing, when it’s done safely.
Anyone that doesn’t understand that should consider more driving lessons, or get off the road, or perhaps consider driving in off peak traffic, because I wouldn’t want to be stuck behind you in rush hour.

Yadnbu this pisses me off so much!

Why can't everyone just follow the high way code? Sod being friendly and considerate. The Highway Code is in place so that traffic runs smoothly

It’s also trusting the other drivers judgement too.. I wouldn’t be writing this if we’d went out when the lorry infront of us indicated to over take him.. we’d have been head on into another car at 60. I don’t even know if we could blame his judgement you’d have had to been formula one to make the gap.

Never understood people who can’t wait two minutes for anything. They’d be the first to go mental if you’d damaged their car.

I agree with you - people being "considerate" are unpredictable. And an unpredictable driver is a bad driver.

Roads are not tram tracks with a strictly timetabled one tram on the hour - the nature of traffic is that it's unpredictable. A child running out into the road is unpredictable to the car in front of you, which has to do an emergency stop - which, in turn, is unpredictable to you and all other drivers behind, who also have to slam on the brakes.

You can't predict when a traffic light will change. You can't predict when there will be a gap to enter a roundabout. By far the major skill in driving is in navigating and reacting to dynamically changing traffic - actually being able to make the car move is the really easy bit.

Of course a whole load of strangers sharing a road and going to a hundred different places at a hundred different times is going to be unpredictable - if you're unable to cope with that, you simply aren't safe to be driving on a public road.

This kind of reminds me when I slowed to allow an elderly lady to cross some traffic lights the other day and she started shouting at me “THE LIGHTS ARE ON GREEN WHY ARE YOU STOPPING” whilst waving her arms.

You need more lessons to help with your confidence issues.

@AprilMay89 thank God you were there. This happened where I live and the lady died .

YANBU. Flashing drivers to go when they do not have right away causes accidents and is one of my pet hates.

You sound ridiculously petty

Snowman123

You mean ‘right of way’ and surely if I chose to allow another driver through then I’m happy to give it up?
I can’t imagine being as miserable as half the people on here.

How simply dreadful.

Imagine - people are trying to be kind and considerate - how dare they.

Bastards.

Why can't everyone just follow the high way code? Sod being friendly and considerate.

That's a very sad outlook to have on life.

Do you also snatch your shopping from the checkout assistant and march out without a smile or a thank-you, because you've paid for your goods according to the law, so that's that? If a colleague offers to get you a coffee, do you just shout "NO!" rather than "Not for me, thank you" as you've clearly communicated your intention and niceties are just an unpredictable diversion?

Bizarre!

This is bizarre

Agree with PP I live in greater London with millions of side roads and heavy traffic, some roads if you set off at 8am you'd need to wait till 8pm to pull out if no one let you

Around here for this reason it is the norm, really common to let people out. To keep the traffic moving and to not be a sod. Of course not everyone does but it's very common. Also there is no flashing, just a gap left. Maybe a wave. No anger! It's very busy traffic-wise and this is the way it's fine here.

Follow your plan and NW London would grind to a halt 😁

Maybe it depends where you live. Round here people who never let others out are seen as sods. Courtesy smooths things along in a very crowded situation.

I mean there is anger obviously but I've never had someone get arsey of I chose not to go into a gap left as I didn't deem it safe.

Completely agree. A car from my right tried to let me out at a small roundabout and I have no idea why. It's their right of way and they have to take it!
My driving instructor told me to shake my head with a clear no if someone tried to let me out and to wait for a gap in traffic. She'd been a passenger in a car who had turned into a one way road because a passing car had stopped to allow her friend out but she couldn't see the car that overtook the stopped car. It went straight into them. The overtaking car was wrong but she essentially drove into its path on the directions of a stranger. I also don't trust when large vehicles indicate to allow people to pass. Once I saw someone pull out to overtake when in fact the tractor was simply indicating to turn and the road was not clear at all.

Where I live you’d be stuck a very long time if people didn’t let you out.

The other day I left a side street clear as the traffic ahead wasn’t moving. The man waiting to pull out of the side street instead of being grateful, got very agitated and kept waving me to move forward even though I could only move a few meters forward and be stuck blocking his way out. He kept waving, so I moved forward and blocked his way out and the traffic lights changed, so he was stuck there for ages. I don’t know why he didn’t just go. It’s like a weird power play for some people.

That said, If it's a busy junction and letting traffic in or out is the only way people can actually get by then really there needs to be something done by the highways. Bad road planning causes accidents. One by forcing drivers to push into moving traffic hoping that people will stop or two, by making drivers place their trust in strangers that it is actually safe to make the manoeuvre without being able to see that for themselves. Slow moving highly congested London traffic is also probably a different matter. Being allowed out of a side street into very slow moving traffic is a lot different to someone randomly stopping on a 30mph street with intermittent traffic.

During your driving lessons were you given lessons on stopping and waving and flashing other drivers through? No, you were not

I wasn’t given lessons on how to park or how to drive on a motorway, doesn’t stop me doing it.

On my route to work I drive along a very busy (in both directions) road and there is a junction where people driving up the road toward me want to turn right across my direction of travel. If people like me didn’t occasionally stop and let people make the turn then they could be sitting there for a very long time holding up the through traffic (including buses) behind them. Indeed I have actually sat there myself waiting to turn right for over 10 minutes. As for Plus I don’t flash people a thank you for letting me through...........I’ve got to have both hands on the steering wheel. Cars are designed so that those sort of controls can be operated without the need to remove either hand from the wheel. It is totally your choice to NOT utilise the opportunity offered to you by another a driver and that is fine, just shake your head and wait for a gap that you are happy with but it isn’t reasonable to be annoyed with courteous and considerate drivers who are just trying to keep people moving.