AIBU to get annoyed at drivers who let me out of side streets or in traffic?

[Manchestermanchester]

I turn right into work every day. There is a turning lane and there are many business where I work. The traffic coming towards me isn’t bad as there is a set of traffic lights that keeps the traffic light.

However I’m always getting flashed to turn right when I don’t see the point - I can wait an extra few seconds for cars to pass.

This annoys me because I’ve already got it in my mind to turn right when the road is clear (it’s never more than a few cars). It’s not just a simple case of turning right as soon as I get flashed - I have to look to see there are no cyclists (we have plenty), that there are no pedestrians are crossing the road and check again to make sure the road is also clear and the driver has travelled at speed to me and will crash into me. Waiting for a few cars to pass, which takes a few seconds seems the preferable way.

There is also the insurance issue. If I turned and I crashed into the other car, or indeed a car that stopped in front of the car letting me out, I’m at fault. Furthermore I might get rear ended. Plus I don’t flash people a thank you for letting me through. It’s too easy to mistake that for “come over through” plus I’ve got to have both hands on the steering wheel.

No doubt I’ll get a bunch of people saying I’m rude or whatever, are you going to pay for my insurance claim?

@IrmaFayLear so if you flash me
To come out, I don’t because I don’t think it’s safe, what do you do? Because most stop (because is unsafe for cars behind) or give me lip for not turning from the road when the other driver dictates.

@SudokuQueen have you ever been taught left before right? Because those turning left always have right of way over those turning right. So if you meet me in the road, you will always be turning left before me turning right. I don’t need the insurance claim for the crash.

@Chemenger and others who agreed. Yes it’s fab that you have the same safe driving habits I have. If the traffic is heavy it’s ok to flash drivers, but also entrance/exists shouldn’t be obstructed so it should be an issue anyway.

Of course it’s nice. If you don’t like it just stay put. Ridiculous thing to froth about.

Don't make eye contact with them.

No doubt I’ll get a bunch of people saying I’m rude or whatever, are you going to pay for my insurance claim?

So everything you said prior to this statement is pointless filler as you don't want to hear anything but agreement with your stance? Weird

You could do with taking more lessons to gain more confidence & skills.

This totally does my head in.

All these idiots saying it’s polite, courteous etc.

You don’t need to be polite or courteous if you follow the Highway Code because it does it for you! A perfect set of rules that everyone just has to follow rather than unilaterally make random decisions depending on mood.

There are drivers that look like you’ve driven round and done a poo on their bed because you decline their polite and courteous invitation to turn right even though they’re taking no account of the cyclists coming up their nearside.

@Manchestermanchester

I'm agreeing with you and you're arguing with me? OK..

I took your situation to mean you are on a side road, wanting to turn right and cross a lane of traffic to join the other side. If I was in the lane of traffic you want to cross, and turning left, then I would flash to let you know I'm turning left and you can go as well if you want. However I wouldn't sit and wait, I'd turn left regardless of if you went or not, that's not my problem. I wouldn't sit and let you go across if I was going straight on past.

If you were however on the same road as me, and we both wanted to go down the same road, I was turning left so closer to it and you turning right, I would be going first. But that's more to do with the fact that i don't know how fast you drive, and I don't want to be held up doing 40 when I can do 60.

Well of course you have to check it’s safe before you go but there are lots of turnings where you wouldn’t get out if people didn’t let you go. It’s a bit sad to find something negative in people are doing a kindness

I think this is about you not having confidence to read the road and make decisions when someone offers you a chance to move.

When someone lets you out, you should proceed across their lane, they’ll have stopped moving, check to the left and go if possible. Don’t get stressed and fly out all the way. If you don’t want to proceed, wave them on. But don’t criticise them for trying to assist you.

On occasion when I’ve let people out (to keep the flow of traffic moving in all directions and to be a good human and generally when I’m turning into the road from which they’re exiting) I’ve seen them panic and fly out into traffic. It may have been clear when I signalled to them to make their move, but they’ve hesitated and then assumed I meant it was clear for them and they’ve shot out in a flap. This is dangerous. This is them not having confidence or the ability to act accordingly.

If they didn’t want to be let out because of their confidence and they want to wait for a crystal clear road, then they should wave me on. But people will always try to help other drivers, don’t criticise them for it.

I don’t really understand your scenario. You go when it’s safe to, not when the driver letting you out flashes to you.
I will leave spaces at junctions, when I am already stopped from a driver turning, or the traffic is very slow to let someone out of a junction, because it keeps the traffic flowing, but what irritates me is when the car in front keeps stopping unexpectedly to let other drivers out.
Equally though it’s annoying being stuck behind a driver dithering at a junction in busy traffic, that won’t go. I would find it especially annoying if you where refusing to move when another driver is letting you go.

This is nothing to do with confidence or generosity, OP is correct, those letting them out are WRONH.

I have to look to see there are no cyclists (we have plenty), that there are no pedestrians are crossing the road and check again to make sure the road is also clear and the driver has travelled at speed to me and will crash into me.

If this is a problem for you, you shouldn’t be driving.

Do you not know about the fit rule*? Take it as a compliment.
The fit rule states than on top of all the usual times you let someone out, if you or anyone else in the car at the time thinks that someone is fit, you let them out.

• Disclaimer : the fit rule may have been created by my mates when they passed their tests and may not be an actual part of the highway code.

During your driving lessons were you given lessons on stopping and waving and flashing other drivers through? No, you were not. You were taught to drive a car as per the Highway Code. So just do that. Simple.

As someone who often has to wait at a busy junction for ages, I am always pleased if anyone lets me out. Of course I check to make sure it's safe first, that's just part of driving.

I'm guessing that perhaps you don't live in London OP. Where I live if drivers didn't let you out you'd never get anywhere!

Yanbu.
I move when the traffic is clear and it's my right of way. Not when another driver is trying to be polite.
I don't budge for being flashed to "go" and it's not my problem when they get arsey. I follow the highway code 🤷‍♀️.
One of my colleagues was smashed into after she was flashed and stupidly forgot to check.

I agree with you - people being "considerate" are unpredictable. And an unpredictable driver is a bad driver.

It's not against the Highway Code to let people out and there are some busy roads where you would never get out of a side street unless someone stopped to let you go. As PPs have said, you don't need to go. You need to judge the traffic and your driving ability then decide if it's safe for you to move.
However, crossing two lanes of traffic and taking into account pedestrians and cyclists shouldn't be beyond anyone on the road.

Drivers like you are part of the reason driving is such a pain now

I see it on MN all the time, people being encouraged to drive when they struggle with the smallest judgements.

Obviously, as the driver of your own car, you don't go before it's safe; but why the annoyance at people trying to be kind and considerate?

If I'm heading for a closed door, with another person four yards behind me, I could say "Well the door is there for a reason, as a fire and noise buffer. I'm sure the person behind me is capable of opening and closing a door for themselves - and if I hold it open for them and they catch themselves on the handle or a fire suddenly breaks out the other side and the door that I left open helps it to spread, I could be liable for that - so I'll do the proper and safe thing by pulling it closed behind me". But I wouldn't do that, obviously. I see that as the equivalent of what you're complaining about.

It sounds more like anxiety and/or inexperience on your part rather than them being condescending or acting foolishly.

i know what you mean op and youre right youre not suposed to do it

i do think its nice when coming out of a small side road though especially if there s alot of traffic