For being hurt by a stressed bride?

[Alracalpaca]

My friend of 6 years got married last weekend. I was a bridesmaid. She had been pretty much a nightmare throughout the entire planning process, acting like a toddler and throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat. For example, she screamed and slammed doors when she went shopping with her maid of honor and didn't find anything she liked (they went shopping for fun, not looking for anything specific).

Anyway, I live in a different country now so I flew back for the wedding (11-hour flight) and then went for a dress fitting the next morning (the dress fit no problem as I had sent my measurements to the dressmaker the week before). I had lost some weight because I haven't been well (Crohn's disease). She immediately commented on it and I told her I had been sick and changed the subject. She didn't ask any follow-up questions and we went on with wedding activities. It might be worth mentioning that she spoke non-stop about her own (planned) weight loss during the preceding months and weeks, so she is a little obsessive.

I helped her pack and drove to the venue, where I (and the other bridesmaids) started doing whatever she needed. However, she was SO disorganized, making it really challenging to get stuff done. We managed in the end, but she would get angry if we asked her for more information or any assistance we needed.

I was still cutting and pasting the guest book instructions in a frame, writing and folding place cards and trying to figure out the seating chart that she had changed the night before ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING. I also crashed my rental car trying to transport food (and had to play it down or she would have been angry).

She didn't like her bouquet created by the florist so I redid it an hour before the ceremony. And throughout all of this, she was telling anyone who would listen that her bridesmaids were doing nothing and were not helping at all.

When I was finally dressed and finished doing my makeup, she told me I was not allowed to walk near her going down the aisle. And then, during her husband's speech he said: "And to Resident who came from overseas, we are so happy your dress fit because apparently you lost some weight." He is not the type to notice or care about something like appearances, and his speech was written, so I knew she was behind it.

I was so humiliated and hurt and just overwhelmed by everything so I burst into tears. Another bridesmaid saw and comforted me. Later she told the bride that I had been very upset. The bride texted me today and asked why I was so upset, and acted like I was overreacting and misreading all her "sarcastic comments," implying that I am too sensitive. She seems really annoyed.

Am I wrong to feel upset and hurt? She doesn't seem to think she is in the wrong, and maybe I should be more forgiving because brides are stressed.

[billy1966]

Well out of it. Imagine using your husbands wedding speech to be sarcastic and have a pop at a friend who had flown 11 hours.

Bizarre. Definitely not worth wasting another minute on.
You sound so lovely OP. I'm so glad you have the other BM as support.

[strawberry2017]

She can apologise for his behaviour because there is no way her husband would have said anything if she hadn't promoted it.
Better off without her. She's clearly got issues. X

[SallyArmley]

Well done, she sounds a horror.

[Proudownerofplants]

And of course she could bloody well apologise for what was said at her wedding, even if it was a misfired joke she had no knowledge of (doesn't sound like the case).

I would've been mortified if that was said publicly to one of my friends and she was understandably upset. It was totally inappropriate.

Moreover, she should get her husband to apologise privately. She sounds histrionic and totally unkind.

[MadamePewter]

Well done. It’s sad, but there’s something about weddings that seems to make grown women act in such bizarre and horrible ways. Happened to me with a friend too, though thankfully I managed to escape before had to be bridesmaid

[Alracalpaca]

@billy1966 Thank you! Yes, I lost one friend but gained another so at least something positive came from all this.

[shinyredbus]

She’s a fucking twat - and I don’t say that very often. I would tell her why you are Ditching as a friend.