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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
OhCaptain · 21/02/2020 15:36

Hmm. As I suspected! 😬😬😬

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 21/02/2020 15:36

Grin ok your wording is making you sound like the one who's got too much time on her hands and properly off priorities now.

"Our more formal style" Hmm Judging by the clothing picture your child is still in nappies! His informal style should be covered in finger paint/ mud/ a splashsuit/ anything comfortable to play in!

AuntieCedent · 21/02/2020 15:37

@Refreshed

If she is uncomfortable with your plans (I think that sort of outfit is appropriate btw), how much are you prepared to change them?

For instance, if that's what you'd usually dress him in for a nice day out/family event, would you be prepared to dress him in something he would wear every day?

So for that 9 year old in my family, that would be asking his mum to dress him in casual trousers and a smart top for a wedding but maybe with shoes instead of trainers whereas he would normally be in a suit.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/02/2020 15:37

Beat me to it BetteDavis

Rainbows8117 · 21/02/2020 15:37

Is that you Kate? (Just thinking if any royal weddings coming up...)

Princess Beatrice!

Original poster
Refreshed · 21/02/2020 15:37

I like the style. It is what we're comfortable with and is suitable/smart for a wedding. Nothing wrong with it. It isn't overdressed. Fine if it's not your style but that doesn't make it wrong for a wedding

OP posts:
Pukkatea · 21/02/2020 15:39

Your use of 'our style' and 'what we're comfortable with' to describe your DS clothes is...odd.

AuntieCedent · 21/02/2020 15:39

@Refreshed

I dont think it is wrong. I actually have a pet hate for boys who always look underdressed at events in tracksuits and scruffy trainers while the girls are in their Sunday best. What I'm asking is if youd be prepared to "dress him down" for the bride's comfort? If you're not, then you're not.

partofthepeanutgallery · 21/02/2020 15:40

Um, yeah, I imagine that outfit is 'over the top' from where the Bride to be is sitting in most circles.

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 21/02/2020 15:40

Refreshed dress your baby however you want but don't pretend that's his style or use the royal plural - it's your individual preference. Just you. It's what you like dressing your baby in. Knock yourself out while he still cooperates but don't stop him playing because you don't want him to get his clothes dirty.

saraclara · 21/02/2020 15:41

I've never seen a little kid wearing stuff like that, outside photos of the royals. So I sort of see what the bride-to-be means.

I don't think that entitles her to tell you what he's to wear, but I can at least see why you're the only person she sent that message to.

AnneKipanki · 21/02/2020 15:42

I have @saraclara.

NotALurker2 · 21/02/2020 15:42

You would not attend her wedding because of this? Wow, YABU. Give her a break. She's about to get married and stressed out. Just reassure her you plan on doing things HER way. It's her day, after all. I don't see how this qualifies as friendship-ending request (or how you imagine continuing to be friends with her if you'd skip her wedding over this...).

AuntieCedent · 21/02/2020 15:42

Lol really? They sell things like that in Next and H+M!

AnneKipanki · 21/02/2020 15:43

Just one though ..in all the 34 years I have been working .

Drum2018 · 21/02/2020 15:43
Hmm
TheReluctantCountess · 21/02/2020 15:43

How old is your ds?

Cacaca · 21/02/2020 15:43

How predictable - as soon as she posts pictures of the style of clothes her son wears the bitchy element among you are criticising. If that’s the style of clothing she likes her son in, leave her be - it’s not affecting you in anyway is it?

SnoozyLou · 21/02/2020 15:43

OP, you obviously dress your child well, and she's afraid he might outshine the wedding party. I would take it as a compliment, and just smile and nod.

I wouldn't allow her to choose his outfit if that involves you going and buying new outfits though. That would be taking the mick.

I would just try to fade into the background rather than volunteering to help from hereon in. As others have said, it's got "Bridezilla" all over it.

SoupDragon · 21/02/2020 15:44

TBH, having seen that photo, I'm not at all surprised you received that text.

AuntieCedent · 21/02/2020 15:44

So what do you all dress your babies in for a wedding or something like that?

PrincessHoneysuckle · 21/02/2020 15:44

Yep I totally get it now. I dont think your friend is being U not wanting your son to turn up like prince George if he was a page boy.

AnneKipanki · 21/02/2020 15:44

Beatrice wedding date has been announced as May 29 TH 2020.

SnoozyLou · 21/02/2020 15:45

And I don't see anything wrong with either of those outfits.

Jux · 21/02/2020 15:45

I'd reply "how much of a bitch do you think I am?" but that's a bit confrontational so I'd probably just say that, having styled the page boys, I have chosen an outfit for ds which is not even remotely like theirs and nor will it outshine them.