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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
IntermittentParps · 21/02/2020 15:20

Chinos, shirt, jumper. Not that hard. You don’t need to make boys wear suits, waistcoats or ties unless they’re part of the wedding party.

The OP isn't finding it 'hard' Hmm to know how to dress her son. And she can put him in whatever she wants.

Personally I wouldn't make anyone wear chinos.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/02/2020 15:21

puzzled

Wink
OhCaptain · 21/02/2020 15:22

Ok, don’t jump on me. But...your reaction is completely disproportionate and I do wonder if you’re a bit precious when it comes to your son?

If you’re close enough to be ‘styling’ the children of the wedding party, then not going to the wedding because she wants to pick an outfit for your son is ott and a bit melodramatic!

It’s mental that she wants to pick his clothes there’s no doubting that. BUT...

I'm not an outlandish person when it comes to dressing DS. He always looks great, I put a lot of effort into choosing his clothes etc. Out style is understated and classic

This sounds a bit Instagram Mommy/Baby Stylist to me! So, she might not be completely insane to think your son could possibly turn up like a baby vogue model.

I don’t think it matters one iota, by the way! I’m just thinking out loud really.

But if you’ve been good friends don’t let this ruin the relationship!

Original poster
Refreshed · 21/02/2020 15:24

DS will be dressed traditional/classic. Like he often is. We are going for a gorgeous little outfit. But it in no way resembles the wedding party (the bride to be wanted them in suits and ties so that's what I went with when choosing their colours etc)

OP posts:
mclover · 21/02/2020 15:25

Dress him as a hot dog or a cow boy or something

saraclara · 21/02/2020 15:27

I don't think there's any need to give OP the inquisition about what her son has worn to dos in the past, I'm sure she is acting in good faith, it's not like boys could really wear anything that ott to a wedding

Honestly, I think we DO need to see what OP dresses her son in for special occasions, if we're to express an opinion on what she should do/how she should respond. If none of her friends got this text, then it does seem like there's something significantly different about the way her son is dressed.

AuntieCedent · 21/02/2020 15:28

There's a child in my family, a boy aged 9 who just wears the hell out of whatever he puts on. It's hard to explain because although his mum does make an effort to buy him nice things, they aren't designer brands and he just seems to keep them nice. He always looks like the famous child in the room and he's oddly comfortable in a suit and tie so you'll see him at weddings and christenings in one and assume he is a key part of the event. He does outshine other children that way. Especially as many children his age hate wearing formal clothing and will successfully bargain with their parents to change into something more comfortable for the 'party'.

I can imagine his mum receiving this text.

drinkygin · 21/02/2020 15:28

@OhCaptain took the words out of my mouth. I am wondering why you and only you got this message, nobody else with kids in the wedding 😬

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 21/02/2020 15:28

Is traditional perhaps a kilt?

A gorgeous little outfit...

It sounds as though both of you spend too much time planning outfits for children! I presume your son is a toddler?

saraclara · 21/02/2020 15:28

Cross post. Show us the outfit you're intending him to wear @Refreshed?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/02/2020 15:28

So she's asking for help and to fawn over other kids while excluding your son.
Im sorry for little Miss Bride to be Princess but it doesn't work like that.
Would it hurt her to actually make your ds part of it.

DrManhattan · 21/02/2020 15:29

Have you asked her what's shes on about? Share an update please

Floribundance · 21/02/2020 15:30

If this is genuine then the bride is asking the OP not to go OTT with her DS’s outfit. If the bride is a friend and what she’s asking is odd but not outlandish then what’s the big deal?

handslikecowstits · 21/02/2020 15:31

Saw some fab costumes in Asda this morning. Just saying...

direct.asda.com/george/clothing/10,default,sc.html?q=costume

Floribundance · 21/02/2020 15:31

We are going for a gorgeous little outfit

We?

MayLeaveADentInYourSofa · 21/02/2020 15:32

It's all about the photos. She wants your son not to look like the bridal party, but he also needs to blend in.

Original poster
Refreshed · 21/02/2020 15:32

A few examples of our more formal style, everyday generally more relaxed with nice co-ordinating lounge sets etc

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?
To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?
OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 21/02/2020 15:32

I have to agree with others that you sound very over invested in what your ds wears.

My ds is now 15 but every wedding we've ever been to since he was 1 he's worn black trousers or tailored Navy shorts and a linen shirt in whatever colour he chooses as he's outgrown the last one! And a fine knit cardigan over the top.

I've actually been accused of underdressing him before as other boys have been in full suit and tie.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 21/02/2020 15:34

Oh god.. Grin here we go.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 21/02/2020 15:34

Oh, you are one of those insta-mommy types!

Pitaramus · 21/02/2020 15:34

Just send her a photo of what you are proposing to dress him in and say this is what I had planned, is that Ok? If not, why?

itsgettingweird · 21/02/2020 15:34

Not everyone likes that style but I do on babes in arms! Not those who are now toddling.

But I also think some people do see it as over dressed because the royals wear stuff like this.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 21/02/2020 15:35

Is that you Kate? (Just thinking if any royal weddings coming up...)

Floribundance · 21/02/2020 15:36

5/10

Nice try but the ‘styling the children in the wedding party’ let you down.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 21/02/2020 15:36

So you basically dress him like Prince George...

She is still overstepping to believe she can dictate how you dress him though

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