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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
partofthepeanutgallery · 22/02/2020 11:00

It's because she can't coherently explain why her request is reasonable because it isn't, and she knows it, especially since you've been so helpful with her wedding stuff. But she still wants to, and so she's thinking about how to put it, while recognising i's a Bridezilla-ish kind of request.

Tough day.

In saying that, I still wouldn't put your boy in the outfit you posted for her wedding. You're not dim. You know why she doesn't want him dressed like that in her photos. If she's really a good friend, why not just humor her quietly?

Refreshed · 22/02/2020 11:03

part because it is our usual style and I wouldn't think of making anyone change their usual style or preference for my 'big day'. Additionally, I feel its in the bad taste for someone else to do that to me

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 22/02/2020 11:06

Difficult position @Refreshed .

AnneKipanki · 22/02/2020 11:07

There is no way he is going to be mistaken for a page boy .

OhCaptain · 22/02/2020 11:09

@Refreshed I’m dying to know who this “our” is? Our style, we usually...you can’t mean the baby!

GinDrinker00 · 22/02/2020 11:09

Your friend sounds like a bridezilla! What a strange and bizarre request. Glad she’s seen the thread though, maybe she’ll know she’s being unreasonable now.

bingbangbing · 22/02/2020 11:10

She's seen the thread! 😮

The plot thickens...

AnneKipanki · 22/02/2020 11:16

Maybe she should be phoning you and apologising .
The stress was getting to her ...

MarthasGinYard · 22/02/2020 11:16
Shock

Is it one of your celebrity friends Op?

Blurby · 22/02/2020 11:25

I reckon OP will be held responsible for the more 'expressive' responses on here. And unless the bride(zilla) has had a personality transplant, there may not be any coming back from this... Shock

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 22/02/2020 11:28

I'd also like to know why Refreshed refers to herself in the plural.

I think you can dress your baby how you like and find it strange that anyone else cares as long as he doesn't look uncomfortable/ cold and is being allowed to play in an age appropriate way rather than being made to stay clean and ornamental above all else.

However the posting style using the plural is so off putting, almost as if the OP actively wants to be unlikable for kicks.

Your two year old doesn't have a fashion style, and if it did it would probably be something you wouldn't buy to save his life... You, his mother, have style preferences and dress your child to look as you wish him to look. Own it. It's not his style, it's yours.

Picklypickles · 22/02/2020 11:32

I wouldn't go to the wedding. This is the main reasons I fecking hate weddings. The minute some people get engaged they become so utterly self-obsessed that their friends/families become little more than puppets for them to manipulate in their Grand Show. Just fuck off and get married by yourselves, no one cares, it's boring and so are you.

RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 22/02/2020 11:37

So, aside from the fact I think your friend is a lunatic...
I’m not from Britain and (this is a very genuine question) can someone please explain to me why the outfit OP has shown is considered so formal? Is t it just a little boys romper? I’m from Australia and at all the weddings I’ve been to, any invited children have been dressed in little suit pants etc and I would say they looked much more formal than that? (And I’ll admit, we’re not a nation known for formal dress, really 😂)

Thornhill58 · 22/02/2020 11:41

Tell her you and your son are wearing all white for the occasion. You are bringing your own flowers 🙈

BlackCatSleeping · 22/02/2020 11:50

Shameless place marking for the phone call.

🍿

GreenTulips · 22/02/2020 11:51

can someone please explain to me why the outfit OP has shown is considered so formal?

It’s the sort of thing Royalty puts their kids in as page boys, so more formal than a pant suit

Lweji · 22/02/2020 11:52

@RichTwoTurkeyFriend
It looks more like a Christening gown, which is when the child is the centre of attention. If the child is very young, it can look like it was meant to be in the wedding party.
A plain white shirt and straight trousers are less "look at me".

Having said that, waves to the bride, it's odd to ask a friend to help with the children's clothes and not invite her child to be part of the wedding party.
It's part of the mentality that everyone should serve the bride.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 22/02/2020 12:02

I think you’re all bring horrible to op.
The bride is being completely unreasonable. It’s up to the child’s parents what to dress him in and his style has nothing to do with the bride!
I think the little outfits are gorgeous.
This place is getting really nasty , I would imagine that after this op, you may not be able to see your friend in the same way.

TheReluctantCountess · 22/02/2020 12:04

Seen the thread? Uh oh.

Selmababies · 22/02/2020 12:14

Do you have form for dressing your son in a suit with waistcoat and bow tie for weddings?

If this is the case, maybe she's concerned she'll mistake your son for the groom. Grin

SnoozyLou · 22/02/2020 12:26

The bride has seen the thread, apparently. I know because someone else has told me. Still no update from her

Oh dear. Well, in fairness to you OP, I wouldn't dream of dictating to guests what they can wear either, let alone choosing their children's outfits in case it upstages they wedding party, and actually telling the guest so. YANBU. It was rude.

Think I'd probably just consider myself uninvited, in light of the silence.

Really don't see what OPs choice of language has to do with anything - "we", "I" - whatever. As for all the Kate comments, seems like a lot of jealousy on this thread.

countrygirl99 · 22/02/2020 12:42

She would have reason to worry if you were going to dress him as DS2 would have wanted for formal occasions - Thomas the Tank bow tie & waistcoat with nothing else. Don't worry, I did insist on shirt & trousers too but it was a battle.

Aridane · 22/02/2020 12:46

it is our usual style

Hmm
Happierlife · 22/02/2020 12:49

OP, is the bride a celebrity also?

Nodancingshoes · 22/02/2020 12:57

My friend has been known to wear a floor length dress in the same colour as the bridesmaids before so I can imagine her getting that text....😉

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