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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Kastanien · 21/02/2020 17:32

Have you shown her the pictures you have posted on here OP? Is it in response to them because she finds them too, err, OTT perhaps?

TonytheDog · 21/02/2020 17:35

drinkygin I know of such people. They also curate a lot. They do a lot of curating. I'm thinking about giving up my job and just 'curating' generally.

PeterPanGoesWrong · 21/02/2020 18:10

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable op.

I’d be very hurt if my ‘friend’ thought so little of me that she felt she had to take on organising my child’s outfit too.

It would be a dealbreaker for me to be told my style is so shit that the host has to decide what I or my child should wear.

mumwon · 21/02/2020 18:10

so ds is 2 - old fashioned romper suit in blue - why not? When db are little its fun to dress them up (I use to dress dd in matching clothes sometimes - runs away)Grin & for goodness sake why should little one that age be any competition for the brides "party" are they dressed in blue too (& does it really matter - I think extra frilly little girl clothes can be a bit ott but in dc under 5?geta life brides!!)

Icecreamdiva · 21/02/2020 18:43

I love the way the OP is say ‘we’ like the style. I think. it must be a royal ‘we’ as I can’t imagine the average 2 year old boy opting for that over track its and a cartoon T-shirt.

I am old enough to remember when that sort of thing was standard issue for dressing up boy babies (once they came out of the long petticoats babies wore before babygros were invented) but even so it reminds me of the things James (now Lauren) Harries used to wear when he (now she) was a child antiques expert on Nationwide and Wogan.

Seriously OP, it is very smart but very formal and I can see why your friend would be concerned that he will outdo the bridal party. Just for once can’t you compromise and let her pick him something?

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 21/02/2020 18:50

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

That’s not entirely true is it?! You know exactly what she means, you are just affronted she has said it.

saraclara · 21/02/2020 18:52

I love the way the OP is say ‘we’ like the style. I think. it must be a royal ‘we’

...or maybe the child has a father who has some input?

GabsAlot · 21/02/2020 18:54

My dm used to do this (may she rest in peace) my sister was dressed in hideous ott outfits just for day to day things she always looked so overdressed as a baby

each to their own but maybe she thinks it will clash

SnoozyLou · 21/02/2020 18:55

OP, if your friend hasn't replied by now I'd think she was:

  1. Extremely rude.
  2. Batshit crazy.
  3. Too far up her own arse.

I'd be reconsidering attending too at this point.

Casualbride · 21/02/2020 18:56

I think your friend is being unreasonable!

Tvquizhelp · 21/02/2020 19:41

Djkc

ultrablue · 21/02/2020 20:12

Coming in from a slightly different angle. Is your Son a lot younger than the page boys? If he is, could it be dressed in the style, she thinks it could look like he is part of the wedding with that style of outfit... She obviously knows how you dress your little one so maybe she is worried that he would look like one of the wedding party if he is much younger and she had chosen an age appropriate outfit for him . Just a thought

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 21/02/2020 20:30

Now we know what the OP’s DS is wearing, I don’t see how he could be confused with the page boys in their shirts and ties. She’s been very rude to you and I guess is regretting it now, be interesting to see how she replies. I would definitely still go but wouldn’t pay her request a bit of notice!

blitzen · 21/02/2020 21:05

YANBU, op. Think I would feel the same.

Would be funny to send her a photo of your outfit to check too. A long white dress!

Original poster
Refreshed · 21/02/2020 21:09

Seriously OP, it is very smart but very formal and I can see why your friend would be concerned that he will outdo the bridal party. Just for once can’t you compromise and let her pick him something?

It really isn't that formal. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to wear this or that. I chose what my flower girls wore but wouldn't have dreamt to tell guests and their DC what to wear. It wouldn't even have occurred to me. Not my child, not my problem.

I'm getting quite annoyed now as still no response from friend, other than a text reply of I'll call you later

OP posts:
Ciwirocks · 21/02/2020 21:15

Op those outfits are very page boy and very formal for most people. I can see where your friend is coming from. Can’t you just tone it down for one day, it is her day after all, I would let her have this one and keep the peace if she was a good friend.

PotteryLady · 21/02/2020 21:21

I would just send her a pic of what he is going to wear and see what she says!

scrivette · 21/02/2020 21:35

I would have dressed DS in something similar for a wedding when he was that age, even at 4 he has a couple of shorts/short sets like that he is happy to wear.

I think your friend is being OTT - unless the outfit is in the colour of the bridal party I can't see the problem.

MoveOnTheCards · 21/02/2020 21:43

While your taste isn’t quite mine OP, it’s nothing to do with me or anyone else what you dress your DS in. Go with your choice but find out what the hell your friend means —and tell us— Wink

MoveOnTheCards · 21/02/2020 21:44

Strikeout fail. Blush

Tellingitlikeitisnt · 21/02/2020 21:49

She has had a weird panic that your DS will be very formal and as such look part of the bridal part because she knows how you often dress him

Not sure why that would matter to her anyway- who cares? But brides do have form for getting over invested in rubbish

Ignoring your text is cowardly of her

Just text- ‘he won’t look part of the bridal party but he will look smart because he is a wedding guest. Am not sure why you think I would over step the mark with his outfit so please trust me on this’

Lweji · 21/02/2020 21:51

The bride could be on MN.

MummyOfBoyAndGirl · 21/02/2020 23:13

Did she call you back?

LaMarschallin · 22/02/2020 10:13

Lurking and hanging on to see what the bridal response is.

Also, in the meantime OP, I would really like to know what you and DP plan to wear. I'm sure you won't be matchy-matchy (although I understand that did have a brief moment in the fashion sun not so long ago) but will you:

A) both dress in varying styles/colours so as to present one glorious bouquet (if I may be so bold) of a family? In the photos.

or

B) will you and DP understate things just a little bit to provide the glorious setting for the jewel that is DS? For the photos.

Original poster
Refreshed · 22/02/2020 10:54

The bride has seen the thread, apparently. I know because someone else has told me. Still no update from her

OP posts: