To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

[Refreshed]

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

Nice coordinating lounge sets?
What on earth are they?

What are the page boys wearing, Op-will it look as if you are trying to upstage them?

Neither of the outfits are outlandish imo & would be entirely suitable.

Iirc, a cousin dressed their two kids in traditional stuff at my wedding. Smocked romper for one & smocked dress for the other.

It wasn't their usual style & I was touched that they were all in their best stuff tbh.

Oh, that photo was from Monsoon occasion wear for boys, btw. It stars from 6 months to 6 years old.

The TOM SHIRT AND SHORTS SET WITH BOW TIE has a white shirt and navy shorts, which is more classic and formal, but I'd avoid it.
Both sets cost like a million £ and I'd want something my baby could wear again day to day.

Someone who was very involved in my wedding dressed her son in the same outfits as my page boys. As in, she went to the same shop and bought THE SAME outfit. She even told me before hand, but she was doing me a big favour with something else in the wedding so I didnt feel I could say no. It still irritates me years later. Especially as the wedding photographer didnt realise so has the child in lots of photos because they look like they should be there.

IRRITATES THE HECK OUT OF ME.

Rant over. if you've dressed your son like a page boy before then she's not unreasonable. But if you haven't then just put it down to wedding stress / nerves.

I think it’s lovely tbh.

Lots of reverse snobbery on here today

It’s cute but eye-catching so for the sake of one day at the bride’s request - even if people here think it’s ridiculous - he could be dressed in a shirt and pants.

Brides don’t get to dictate what other people wear though.

Bridezilla at its best!

@Bagofoldbones

Think you mean inverse, snobbery.

The wedding thing had become insane become insane. The very idea that outfits are more important or can actually define, who does or does not attend is deeply unpleasant.

It should be harpooned for what it is.

I think the OP should put her son in whatever she wants.

Coordinating lounge sets 😂

Agree to dress him in something suitably plain and then show up wearing a bridesmaids frock yourself!

"he could be dressed in a shirt and pants."

He would be-albeit short pants!

Yes but you know what I mean!

What is a lounge set? I thought it was a sofa and two armchairs? Refreshed could you post a picture of a Lounge set? Do two years 'Lounge'? What would her wear if he was digging a mud hole? Or painting?

I would agree to her request, let him buy her "basic" outfit but on the day turn up with him wearing whatever you've chosen claiming a disaster with some blackcurrant juice after he was dressed and you had no choice but to put him in his own clothes.

Those are sweet little outfits but I’d think of them more as christening clothes than non-bridal-party-at-a-wedding clothes.

Intrigued by the everyday coordinating lounge sets! My boys used to wear whatever was resembling clean. Then there was the time that 6 year old DS wore a pirate costume continually for days on end because he hated all his other clothes.

@TonytheDog it’s a tracksuit for people with baby styling accounts on Instagram 🙄

I’m still amazed by the idea that the bride gets to dictate what anyone wears at a wedding apart from herself and the bridal party. Quick check that mums in law aren’t clashing/identical and you’re done, I think. The idea of telling a friend who has actually helped out with clothes for the bridal party what her own child can wear is appalling manners. When did this terror of people looking like bridesmaids/brides/ pageboys come from? I’ve never known this kind of behaviour in any wedding I’ve been to, or any family or friend wedding which I’ve been involved with planning. Truly bizarre and OP do ignore this crazy request and don’t get drawn into it. The baby clothes you’ve shown are cute and not OTT for a non-pageboy at any wedding I’ve been to. Who gets excited about toddler fashion on their wedding day?!

For the record, I've voted YANBU, because the bride shouldn't even try to dictate what guests should wear, even if she suspects you'll overdress him.
Not that you shouldn't go to the wedding. Unless she really insists she chooses the outfit, then I'd give it a pass. And charge for my time styling the other children.

However, I do advise you to choose a different outfit, regardless. Your suggested outfits are both too babyish (IMO) and too dressy for a small child who is just a guest.
I imagine that the other children are older, so it could look like your baby was the baby in the wedding party, yes.

Yep, the idea that a two year old can steal the thunder from the bride and wedding party is a little bit batshit, whatever any of us think about the outfit.

Sounds like the bride is avoiding you, OP. Good luck!

I think your chosen outfit is sweet for a 2 yr old and totally appropriate for a wedding. Bride-to-be is being RUDE implying that you are trying to horn in on the wedding party.

Given that you cannot seem to raise her, I would reply to her text: “have tried to call but no luck. A bit bewildered by your text as you know that I would never be so rude as to try and pass ds off as a member of you wedding party. Wouldn’t dream of it. He will look nothing like your page boys but like a guest, dressed in wedding-appropriate kit. Hope this puts your mind at rest”.

But I do think she is v rude.

Lounge sets are the leggings style bottoms and matching jumpers from what I understand.

I am wondering if you mean co ordinating as in his clothes match or if you wear mummy and baby co ordinates!

Why do people have an issue with the word style?

Ok, I don't worry too much about coordinating and don't style but I don't see the issue with saying it.

And sourcing is different from ordering from shop. It generally involves lots ipof internet searches for a specific thing and price comparisons rather than (my way of doing things!) picking up whatever is in the high street in my price range.

There's another thread on here where somebody wants to put their daughter in a dress that looks like a traditional bridesmaid dress and many have said that it's wrong (and a passive aggressive attempt at showing they're out out that child isn't in the bridal party).

I do think that the outfit you've chosen looks like something a young page boy would wear and I kind of see where the bride is coming from.

Reply with what Saraclara said shes having a bridezilla moment.

Ahhh, thanks drinkygin. A tracksuit! Now, I need to know what 'baby styling' is. Is it for people with too much time on their hands? They, competitively, dress their children and the children can't play, get muddy, eat dripping ice lollies, wipe their hands on their trackies and generally look very uncompforyable.

Essentially @TonytheDog yes people who “source” items to “style” their children with need to get over themselves

Honestly, I used to dress all my children in pale blue / white and people always used to say ‘i don’t know how you keep them clean’ my answer was ‘ I have a washing machine’. If you like the Sarah Louise style then keep wearing it. If it didn’t sell they wouldn’t still make it.

It nobody’s business what you dress you child in. Same as it’s nobody’s business how another adult dresses. Lots of people now seem to underdress for formal occasions now so don’t feel bad for keeping things formal.