To ask for the best advice you got for newborn babie?

[Winterwoollies]

Ok, ok, don’t yell at me, I know this should go in another area, but I want to tap into the full Mumsnet knowledge pool and we all know this is the most highly trafficked area of Talk.

I read a comment from someone about soothing night-time screamy babies with colic the other day and it prompted me to start a notes file with good newborn baby tips. It involved putting them upright in a baby sling and going for a really good walk before bed to soothe reflux. It seemed worth remembering!

So, with that in mind, does anyone have any nuggets of useful, even obscure, advice for newborn babies and a newborn parent?

I have an unexpected baby due in the summer and am keen for some sisterly (or brotherly) advice.

Thank you!

Again, please don’t yell.

A) go with your instincts, we have them for a reason
B) buy zip up sleepsuits- poppers at 3am in the dark are an absolute bloody nightmare
C) don't feel pressured into doing anything you're uncomfortable with, if necessary, smile, nod and continue doing as you please

Use tiny amount of Vaseline for sore bottoms Don't use Sudocrem - it nips! Put it on your own bottom if you don't believe me.

Babies cry when they're hot or cold or hungry or lonely or in pain and sometimes they cry because they just want to be left alone. Once everything else has been ruled out, they may just want peace and quiet.

@ahwig I babysat one baby who the mum said if he couldn’t settle to put the hairdryer on, and tight enough worked a treat. I ended up being their regular sitter and like 2nd/3rd time she commented the only frustration was the hairdryer would overheat and cut out and she’d end up with screaming baby...

...next time I came I brought a cassette tape I’d made of my hairdryer on a loop... job done!

But the funniest part was she asked me why my hairdryer didn’t cut out and what brand it was

My own dd loved the washer on spin, unfortunately I couldn’t employ the same trick as it wasn’t just the sound, we were in a flat and it was the vibrations too so if she was in the bouncy chair in front of the washer it was the perfect “shoogle” to get her to sleep! But looking back people must have thought we were nuts popping her in bouncy chair in front of washer for a nap!

@Graphista DH would start vacuuming if baby wouldn’t settle
Worked a treat
We soon decided to buy a white noise machine

I've just finished a placement with the health visitor and they always mention that the first 1001 days of your baby's life are the most important, as this is when your baby's brain develops the fastest, and helps develop the best bond, so cuddle your baby loads, read to your baby, sing, as you'll never get these moments back.
Congratulations

If you bottle feed, give it to them at at room temperature rather than warmed - it makes life SO much easier when you're out & about and in the night.

Having said that, do whatever works for you- regardless of all the advice & 'you should/shouldn't...' comments! Every baby is different & as long as you're all happy & healthy, who cares?! 🙂

Not really advice for the baby but for you - you when you come home two or three nights after you have the baby you might have night sweats like you wouldn’t believe like you have a fever. With DS1 it was awful but I didn’t notice so much with DS2 so perhaps this isn’t always a thing.

About 6-8 weeks pp you might start getting joint aches, I got it in my ankles, knees and hips, especially at night. A sign of the hormones starting to leave the body I think!

Between 3-6 months pp all your excess hair that you didn’t shed during pregnancy will start to fall out like crazy!

All these things are normal I just didn’t expect them!

Condoms filled with water and frozen are the best shape for soothing bruising downstairs after birth.

Nibbling baby finger nails are much safer and easier than cutting them, they are really soft when first born so they come off easy. Then leave the scratch mitts off so baby can use their hands to comfort themselves.

A wadded up bit of loo roll held firm against your stitches makes the first few post partum poops much less scary 💩

The best bit of advice I got for my baby was 2,6,10 (feeding times!)

I've read that you're going to formula feed, make the bottles up in advance.

Do not bulk buy anything for the baby because within a week or two they probably won't like it anymore! (Were on our 4th type of bottle!)

Size 1 teats are only for the first few days of feeding, then go to size 2 or variflow if that's an option.

Don't try and keep your baby awake, an overtired baby is the worst thing.

ROUTINE!!!!! Now I'm probably going to be judged on this, but as adults we have a routine so why don't we have it as a baby? It's honestly the best thing for them. It's hard to instil but you'll be thankful that you've done it.

Your baby can sense that you're crying, so if they're crying and you feel like you need to (because they've been crying for hours on end, put them in a safe place and have a cry and then go back to your baby).

Keep your regular nail or nail appointments - you'll be thankful.

Read up on all birthing methods even if you don't want it!

If you have family close then leave the baby with them overnight and book a hotel for you and partner. The interrupted sleep will do you both good!

Make a cuppa all the time, even if you've just had one because you probably won't get to drink it.

Change their nappy on a towel - much more absorbent.

Google is your worst enemy!

Have an Amazon prime account!

White noise will be your best friend, you'll need it louder than you think (your tummy is as loud as a washing machine).

Swaddling and dummies are life savers.

Get out and about - your baby is very portable and will enjoy different experiences more than being shut in the house all day.

With your first baby, sleep when they sleep!

Do it your way and don't feel bad that others are doing it differently.

Don't compare your baby to others - comparison is the thief of joy! Other people only tell the good things their babies are doing and don't tell you their worries.

The most rest you will ever get with your child is the first few months. Soon as they start being mobile, it changes the game.

If your baby is having a hard time taking a poo, slowly massage the anal area with a cotton wool. (It will trigger that area to do its thing) it helped my baby massively!

Try to keep your baby as up right as possible in the daytime, (helps with wind, gas etc so potentially can ease any colic that might appear)

And never forget to cuddle. Cuddle all day if you have too.

The safest place for a baby is on the floor as they can't roll off it.

Formula feeding is my going to harm them.
(As long as you follow the guidelines).

In no particular order:

Get dressed and get baby dressed in the morning so that if you want to leave the house, it won’t feel like an insurmountable task. Getting out for even a walk round the block can be a sanity saver.

Talk to a lactation consultant about breast feeding. They know far, far more than HVs, midwives and GPs.

The most effective thing your dh can do is try and ensure you get as much sleep as possible.

When winding a baby, they go sort of floppy and soft when they’re fully winded. If the legs feel stiff, or tense at all, keep winding. Ds took at least 15 minutes to wind but slept beautifully when he was.

H&M do lovely wrap over vests that were easy to get on and off, but also perfect for skin on skin time.

Pour yourself a large glass of water before sitting down to breast feed. 15 seconds into a feed you’ll suddenly be incredibly thirsty!

Get the new nappy ready and open before you take off the old one.

Witch hazel is lovely and soothing for cleaning your vagina for the first few days, particularly if you have stitches.

Lansinoh for nipples. Use nipple shields if you have to. I was afraid of “nipple confusion” on my first and tried to power through and ended up with bleeding nipples. I used them with discernment on my 2nd and bf successfully

Allow yourself a margin of error. A wide margin. We were all perfect parents before we had children and we’re good enough parents now. The individual decisions that you’ll worry and agonise about will matter much less that you can ever imagine!

The thing that helped me most was knowing
A) contractions pass you will most likely get chance to catch your breath between them
B) every single baby is different, do what works for you, if it isn’t working change it up, but ignore anyone who suggestions start with “well we did it like this.....” they don’t live in your life with your baby. You do and you know what is best.
Ps enjoy!! It is fabulous!

The book ‘what mothers do, especially when it looks like nothing’ was a game changer for me for many reasons.

The main one for me talks about responding to your baby when they cry and how it actually helps them in the future, as they become confident to explore as they know they are safe as you will respond if they need you.

Also, muslins as a comforter are awesome. Instantly replaceable if they get manky or lost

Trust your instincts.

Don't feel guilty about co-sleeping, if it means you both get some sleep.

Breastfeeding gets easier, stick with it. I gave up much too easily with my first two, but persevered with my third and once you're over the hill it's so much more convenient and cheaper.

Remember that becoming a mother is a huge change, you shouldn't worry about getting your "body back." We don't think that after puberty we should try and get our pre-pubescent bodies back, so why do we focus on our pre-baby bodies in motherhood? Concentrate on just being healthy and accept that change is part of the journey.

Learn how to burp your baby and burp it every time after a feed.
Burp technique

There are a lot of people who want to tell you to go with the flow. As a planning-type person I never bought into that and I knew that I wasn't a share-the-bed, breastfeed-on-demand person.
As such I really found the Baby Whisperer routines really exceptionally helpful. It really helped me establish a pattern in my days (combination feeding helped too) and contributed to a great experience being a new mother because I knew what to do and when.
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
Baby Whisperer

Breast pads for changing little boys who like to pee when the air Hits them. They are brilliant, the right size and absorb.

Buy a grolight, it screws into your light fitting and is a nightlight, it fills the room with a dim blue light. Perfect for changing and feeding baby without rousing them to wake.

Do accept any help you get offered. It's the one time in your life you wish you had three of you!

I luckily batch cooked a lot of meals the week before baby was born and out them in the freezer, for nights when I didn't have time to cook, we still had a home cooked meal.

Enjoy every minute, the nights are long but the years fly by.

If you want to stick with breastfeeding stick with it. If you do not - then don't.

You do what's what's right for you. After six months no one asks whether you feed bottle or breast.

If you can - be organised. I get my little ones bag ready the night before (he's nearly one and have done this since he was 3 weeks old). It means that on those mornings he's being fussy and I've got cabin fever from being up since 5 with him it was a lot easier to just get up and leave.

When he was on day time feeds I used to get all his formula pots ready the night before too so I wasn't measuring out formula whilst he was screaming for a feed

I have newborn number 2 at the moment. The biggest thing I've learnt that's making this time easier is that babies have an awake window and then need help getting to sleep. With DC1 I just waited for him to fall asleep. Soothed a bit, gave up relatively quickly if he wasn't interested.

With DC2 I look out for the signs of tiredness; red eyebrows, glassy eyes, staring into space then yawning, rubbing eyes and I jiggle her to sleep persistently until she goes (in sling, arms, pushchair etc...). Miss these initial signs and whilst she seems OK, and may even get a second wind and look all bright eyed and bushy tailed, guarantee all hell will break loose later. Awake windows are surprisingly short. Up to say week 6 about 20 mins. Now at week 13 she's up to 60 - 90 minutes ish.

Following with great interest as I have a 2 week old