To ask for the best advice you got for newborn babie?

[Winterwoollies]

Ok, ok, don’t yell at me, I know this should go in another area, but I want to tap into the full Mumsnet knowledge pool and we all know this is the most highly trafficked area of Talk.

I read a comment from someone about soothing night-time screamy babies with colic the other day and it prompted me to start a notes file with good newborn baby tips. It involved putting them upright in a baby sling and going for a really good walk before bed to soothe reflux. It seemed worth remembering!

So, with that in mind, does anyone have any nuggets of useful, even obscure, advice for newborn babies and a newborn parent?

I have an unexpected baby due in the summer and am keen for some sisterly (or brotherly) advice.

Thank you!

Again, please don’t yell.

Don't let other people stress you out about things that are a problem for them not you. My MIL had a huge thing about how I must want to put the baby down, and every time she came would try and get DC1 down. We'd tried and given up. She made me feel really rubbish that I wasn't persisting constantly with trying to put him down (which turned out to be easy later once he grew out of the newborn phase). With DC2 I realised it was her that was that bothered by it, not me, so we told MIL no and just waited until DC2 outgrew the phase.

If you breastfeed, get those plastic shells. In the let-down phase (when you start feeding), loads of milk comes out your other breast. The shell gathers the milk. Easy expressed, hassle-free breast milk. Pop it in a bottle or bag for the freezer (or ice cube tray) and either use to mix for weaning later on, or for a bottle for your partner to help with feeds.
Introduce a bottle quickly (controversial) but the amount of Mum's I knew and now experience with my daughter and grandaughter, it is good advice as a baby that doesn't take a bottle is a nightmare for an exhausted Mum that needs someone to take over and give her an uninterrupted sleep.
Congratulations :-)

If it works for you; go with it.
When checking to see if baby needs more burping hold them with your hand on their chest with your thumb under one armpit & your fingers under the other & ensure their back is straight & gently but quickly move them side to side, if they sound like a hot water bottle/sloshy then there's still a burp in there. Holding them the same way move their body in small circles whilst patting their back.
This worked well for us, but obviously every baby is different.

Lansinoh nipple cream is the best thing ever. It is still used here when my teen DC has cracked lips (I don't show him the tube)

Oh, and Colief is good for colic. BUT...if you breastfeed, it will advise you to do something daft like express onto a teaspoon and mix. Keep a carton of ready-mixed formula for that bollocks and use the good old Infacol dropper to administer.

I'm very sorry that you will not have access to Medised as new parents.

Following

‘Well. What would Thomas Cromwell do about this then?’

excellent set of skills for navigating primary school there!

Following as I’m pregnant and clueless!

Unless they have nappy rash, follow the 5 minute rule. When they do a poo, leave it for five minutes. If you change them immediately there’s a good chance they’ll poo again on the mat!

Good luck!

Nappies have strip from front to back that changes to blue when its wet

It's ok to say no to visitors, don't feel like you owe people a baby cuddle if you're not feeling up to it. I had way too many visitors and a few days before DP went back to work I had a bit of a breakdown because I felt like we'd not had any family time

Sleep when the baby sleeps, the housework and anything else can wait

Do whatever works for you, if you want to block everyone out, hold the baby whenever you want, feed them however you think is best, then do it. Everyone thinks they know best and for the record, you can't 'spoil' a newborn.

@vikkimoog is this aimed at my title? Because that’s a typo. It’s supposed to say ‘newborn babies’. I am a stickler for the definite article.

If following a guideline doesn't work for you, research it and make up your own mind.v They aren't absolute rules (though some are more important than others).

Slings, slings, slings. And if bf learn to feed in a sling, and introduce it early-ish so baby is used to it. Rather than being stuck on the sofa, you can do stuff, whether that be making a sandwich or wandering round the shops.

Nurofen is slightly better than calpol. Aldi nappies are fab, and yellow metanium is the best thing for nappy rash.

Be confident in yourself and your instincts.

Young babies are very portable, so make the most of this before things like bedtime become more important.

If you put the clean nappy under the bum before removing the old nappy you eliminate the risk of a cheeky wee/poo causing a mess, or residue going on the changing mat.

Make the most of second hand selling groups and events. Babies grow so quickly, many things are practically new, and are used for a short period anyway. Then sell stuff (especially bulky things like jumparoo's for the same price you bought them for)

I had my dc when i was quite young, and in a highly abusive relationship. As a result I never got the chance to enjoy them as babies or do what I wanted (eg was not allowed to breastfeed them, they weren’t allowed to sleep in our bedroom, only allowed to hold them if he said so, and only if his needs had been met first)
Now many years later with my current partner we have started to talk about having a baby together, and this time around when it does happen i will actually be able to enjoy those baby moments, and am very much looking forward to being able to cuddle a baby “just because”

Because I wasn’t allowed to really bond with either of my dc, particularly the eldest when they were babies it has had a long lasting impact and we have ended up needing therapy and professional support to try and build that bond. And that if anything is proof that those early years are vital.

oh, and 'colic' does not mean digestive problems as you might think. 'Colic' just means 'prolonged unexplained crying' and it's not always something you can fix, you just have to get through it until they grow out of it. I wish someone had told me that and I could have spared myself all the manic burping and faffing around with Infacol!

@fellyjish YES THIS! Mine is almost 14 months and had a full on screaming and crying fit in Waterstones today.
He had eaten well and had just had a nappy change. It was just one of those things. Sure enough, I got evils from an old biddie. It's like they've forgotten what it's like.
I also second the advice about the nappy from a previous post.
My advice: all babies are different and nobody knows your child as well as you. You'll fall into whatever routine works for you. Don't feel pressured when it comes to breastfeeding, baby- led weaning, sleep routines or anything else. Do what works for you and your child and you'll be grand. Go out when you're ready. Don't feel guilty about taking it easy either.
Accept the baby will cry, do humungous poonamis at the worst possible times etc etc and just roll with it. Every mum in the vicinity will have sympathy!

Picking up on a pp who said you know your baby best....
Ds was dh's first and in the early days he wanted to help and always asked what was wrong with ds. I didn't know as he was brand new to me too!! So don't feel rubbish if you have done the mental check list and baby is still crying!! You are both figuring things out!! You aren't getting anything wrong!! Trial and error and lots of cuddling!!

@Whynosnowyet oh yes, absolutely! As I said my child was having a full-on meltdown today and I had no idea why
I guess I was trying to say not to be overwhelmed with people telling you what to do as a new mum.

Oh and to add to my PP, there's an app by the Lullaby Trust called 'baby check', if you think something is wrong then it goes through a series of questions and advises you at the end the best course of action (GP, 111 etc). It's worth downloading

Learn that you can train the baby, and dont let the baby train you. You still need a life.

Agree with PP about not feeling pressure to do anything in the early days - I'd had an EMCS and a screamy colic non-sleeping baby and I remember feeling dreadful that I wasn't doing what all my NCT pals were doing in terms of getting out and about. Looking back now I wish I hadn't beat myself up so much about it - fast forward a few months and my little one was the one happily hanging out at baby classes and having a whale of a time.

Also look up baby "awake times", turned out my little one was mainly crying because he was tired and I hadn't realised some babies need more help than others to get the sleep they need. He was so much happier when we made sure he was getting sleep at the correct intervals. Made such a difference with our second.

Also, I wish someone had told me how hard maternity leave would be, again some take to it like a duck to water - and you may be one of those, but some don't and that's okay. For me the fog lifted when I returned PT to work and my little one got a bit older - I found things so much easier then and if I'd known that in the early days I don't think I'd have beat myself up so much.

Newborns CANNOT ever have warm water. That is some of the most unbelievably dangerous advice I’ve ever seen.

If you can the earlier you can help your baby learn to self settle for naps and at night the easier sleeping will become.

For my son I stopped cuddling him to sleep at 6 weeks and started a proper bed time routine that we do each night in the same way and he so far goes to sleep really well.

He is now 21 months and when I say it's bath time he starts climbing the stairs to the bathroom - no protest as it's our routine

I got given 3 pieces of advice I lived by:

• Unless you are happy having your baby/toddler/older child sleep in your bed, don't start off sleeping with them or they'll never leave
• It's ok to BF and still get your DH to give your baby a bottle at midnight in order to allow you to sleep particularly if your baby wakes EVERY 2 hours for milk
• Although it doesn't seem like it at the time, the baby stage vanishes really quickly, so enjoy it!

Christ no, don't give your newborn warm water instead of milk overnight. They have tiny stomachs and they need to feed a lot.