For contemplating leaving mumsnet?

[thewigglewalk]

In the wake of the death of Caroline Flack, I have realised that enough is enough and I need to reduce the levels of negativity in my life.

I don't want to be part of anything that contributes to the downfall of any individual's mental health.

Not a big thing, but I deleted my daily mail app (I shouldn't have been on there anyway as it a truly disgusting newspaper).

I am also reducing my social media presence.

I have noticed that despite how much we highlight the impact of trolling and words online, mumsnet has far too many posts etc that are bullying and negative.

I don't want to take away how supportive this place is, but for some this is a hub for them to bully and make other people feel small.

Am I over reacting to delete my mumsnet too?

Does anyone else feel the same?

[maryberryslayers]

Bye Felicia...

[friendlyflicka]

I actually find the things that impact negatively on my life from this site are more insidious. Finding out how often people wash their bed linen and towels and stuff like that, and the opinions they have about parenting, and mothers in law etc. Just creeps into my life and depresses me. Don't find myself very bothered about celebrity judgements

[Username109876]

Bye felicia ? Meant to be funny ?

[daisychain01]

AIBU has always been a bunfight

Gosh that takes me back, can't remember the last time we talked about a MN bunfight! [ goes all misty eyed with nostalgia... ]

[Sofonisba]

Finding out how often people wash their bed linen and towels and stuff like that, and the opinions they have about parenting, and mothers in law etc. Just creeps into my life and depresses me

Wait... Why does knowing how often people wash their bed linen and towels depress you?

[EnthusiasmIsDisturbed]

I think many people are feeling this way and it’s a good discussion to have

Wow. OP feels that Mumsnet a bit nasty (my word) and is considering leaving and announces it, just to...y’know...encourage a bit of reflection from those who peddle the nastiness. Cue bunch of ‘do one, then’ type replies. FFS this just proves the OP’s point and put a cherry on top

^^ this I would like to say unbelievable but it’s not on any public forum or social media

[friendlyflicka]

@Sofonisba I don't know. It is just the minute details of other people's lives - like whether they wear underwear under their nightwear and their judgements on boring parts of everyday life - that I never needed to know about before the internet!

[Gingaaarghpussy]

I find that mumsnet is useful when I'm in the right headspace. I might even post something, but when my head is fucked I just back off without deleting my account because I know I'll be coming back.
Flouncing just brings out the nasties.

[Sparklingbrook]

I assume that a lot of what is posted is not 100% truthful on most threads, especially the laundry frequency ones.

[Inkanta]

thewigglewalk Reading between the lines, I sense you are hesitating and don't really want to leave MM - deep down. What do you say?

[Coconut0il]

I would just stay off AIBU and Chat. I've only ever read and received supportive posts in pregnancy, postnatal, sleep, feeding, primary, teenagers. I don't think mumsnet in general is negative, just certain areas.

[Aprilsinparis]

I agree with CoconutOil

[CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate]

AIBU can be nasty sometimes but that's not the whole site.

I feel you ought to take some responsibility for the way you social media if it get's you down that much. I find MN has useful tools such as Hide Thread, a Report Button and the ability to see which threads are trending, so I see zero need for you to leave. It's your choice which threads to read.

I cannot understand posters reading threads with tons of posts then complaining about them. Who is forcing you to read?

If you find Instagram negative that's entirely on you following rubbish contributers. Instagram in particular can be very positive for mental health. It's something I'm very passionate about. Insta out of all SM platforms is the best for mental wellbeing. Follow the right influencers and follow professional people across the world immersed in your interests.

I actually find MN to treat posters like children pulling controversial posts not because of genuine bullying, but because people have different opinions. In any given week it is possible to be on up to 4 or 5 threads that all pulled. That happened to me once where every thread I followed got pulled. Now that made me want to leave. I am an adult not a child.

[Aridane]

(Unfortunately also the most visited areas)

[Aridane]

(Oops - that was to @Coconut0il)

[daisychain01]

I cannot understand posters reading threads with tons of posts then complaining about them. Who is forcing you to read?

This question is at the very heart of online bullying.

Why does someone who knows they are being trolled on social media still keep on logging onto their Facebook or Twitter account and read the vile stuff that people post about them? Who is forcing them to read? Surely if everyone just logged off SM and ignored the trolls, the problem would go away.

But of course it is not as simple as that, something compels them to get dragged back in.

[Aridane]

AIBU has always been a bunfight

Gosh that takes me back, can't remember the last time we talked about a MN bunfight!

Eh? The deletion messages frequently references the proverbial bun fights

[SouthWestmom]

I don't think that CF suicide can be laid entirely at the door of social media. If I read correctly she had just learned prosecution was going ahead, and the previous details the court heard were quite damning - flipping a table in custody, being restrained as well as the initial assault. This seems to have been a very talented, loved, and flawed person.

I think SM overlaps with the outcome and we can learn from reflecting on what we've put but I'm uncomfortable with the slow erasure of the alleged previous abuse.

[copperoliver]

The Good people on here out weighs the bad, but some people on here are very very nasty, I don't think they should be able to reply to what other people say either, I think each individual should only be able to comment on the original posters post. That would cut down on the nastiest x

[EstherMumsnet]

Hi all, thought we might just chip in to say please don't go... [breaks into song], and also to remind everyone that we're here to make parents' lives easier and work hard to ensure this is the case, so please report anything that breaks our Talk Guidelines.

[wildcherries]

It's so unfortunate right now that I can't read the initials CF without thinking 'cheeky fucker'. I blame Mumsnet ;)

OP, you have to do what's best for you.

[bringincrazyback]

I don't think they should be able to reply to what other people say either, I think each individual should only be able to comment on the original posters post. That would cut down on the nastiest.

I think things would be a lot more civil if this was the case.

[Snog]

Why not leave for a month and see if you miss it

[TaniaArse]

YANBU - on balance I think online communication is not good. The negatives outweigh the positives.

[JosefKeller]

MNHQ seems in a funny mood