Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

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To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

Given the child’s age it seems like an odd place to do it tbh. If it was in a shopping centre, a lot now have feeding rooms to accommodate BF mums or even bottle fed too I guess, I’ve used them

What a lotOf crap
But I think it’s unreasonable that he’s clearly struggling with his emotions and you’re offering a BF because it’s convenient for you, almost like you’re preventing him from exploring these emotions?

Are you saying those of us that comfort our children via breastfeeding are not teaching them to experiment out emotions ?
If your child fall and was crying would you leave them there or would you grab them and give them a hug ? Why is it different a cuddle to a coMfort feed? Please stop judging what other mums do for feeding their babies or comforting them.

Were you a paying customer? Did you try shoes on and then he was hungry?
If you just wandering in for a feed then yes YABU

Given the child’s age it seems like an odd place to do it tbh.

Woudl it be odd to give him a hug there too?

@LipsyGirl those rooms are optional for those that want to use them. When my baby was born the feeds were 15-20 mins and I was ashamed of my breasts and you could predict when they were coming
2 years later my babies feeds are as of when he wants and 2 secs long. By the time I would get in that room he’d not be wanting the feed anymore. In fact he does it for comfort so no point of searching for one.

And if a mum doesn’t want to breastfeed hidden from the rest ... then it’s her right to do so.

So bizarre that people are still coming on to say OP is unreasonable when there are at least ten posts pointing out that it is the law. The only people being unreasonable are those who are ignoring a breastfeeding mothers legal rights. It's literally not up for debate.

@Poppinjay because breastfeeding is a combination of love and an eating occasion. babies can’t separate both, older children learn to do so, and - except in extreme circumstances- can. so if the child was hungry, get them food (boob) in a food appropriate environment. if the child is upset, comfort them, but also teach them comforts. be a parent, help them to develop strategies. do it gently, and help them to develop

So did you challenge or report? If not why not?

I see you're not answering me OP.

I think this thread is a debate subject.

The age is immaterial as is the fact you were BFing. You just walked into a random shop and started feeding your child? Of course that’s out of order. Go to a cafe and buy a coffee!

But we weren't preventing a single sole from trying on shoes. The shop is fairly big and had only a few people in there, none looking to sit to try on shoes and nobody else trying on shoes next to us.

Every single seat was empty, there were lots, we just took up one single seat. And definitely not busy, if it was then I'd think it perfectly okay to expect someone BF to move so people waiting can try on shoes.

Thing is, if I were out shopping for shoes, I'd not want to intrude upon a woman feeding her child and would walk away without making a purchase, rather than try on shoes near her or expecting to sit down on the same seated area as she was. So the shop could have lost a sale or sales precisely because people were trying to be respectful of you.

Hope you get some answers re the ASD soon, OP. If you suspect it may be a factor with your ds’ behaviour, there is a lot of good advice out there around calming a distressed toddler without having to breastfeed them on the spot. While it might be okay when he’s only 2.5 (although the majority of votes on this thread say not) you might want to consider what you will do when he is older still and expects to breastfeed on demand when distressed.

If you had sat down to take a phone call or were checking something on your phone no- one would have batted an eyelid.
Whether you were a paying customer or a potential paying customer doesn’t matter.
You were not in anyone’s way and you were not taking up space ‘needed’ by anyone else.
Why is this even a discussion , your very young child wanted a drink you gave it to him .
Did he want a drink because he was thirsty, didn’t want to be in the shop, has something working on him or just wanted your attention for a minute doesn’t matter .
Once again people are up- in-arms because a 2.5yo is drinking from their mother - that’s the problem.
Come on folks let’s move on. She shouldn’t have been made to feel awkward. The shop should be ashamed of themselves.

@MitziK and if another woman was trying on shoes would you have left because the soles of her bare feet offended you.
If a caregiver was changing the hydration tube on their child would you walk away without making a purchase?
If a 5yo was getting a drink of water from their reusable bottle would you leave them in peace?
Of course you wouldn’t - have some wit.

I’d have returned the shoes.

But what's inappropriate about feeding in 1 space nobody is occupying?

It means other customers can't use them.

@EasterIssland but Ops child isn’t a baby. I’m sure he could wait until they got to the room or a cafe or some shopping centres have benches to use.

I’m not saying your wrong Op, it’s just an odd place to do it I guess

@Purplecatshopaholic

Absolutely - go somewhere and purchase something - definitely don’t sit down and feed your child for the few minutes and then move on.
Who creates all these weird rules of behaviour? Who decided a woman sitting down for a few minutes in a shop to feed her kid was the worst , rudest, cheekiest thing you could do?

FWIW I have breastfed both my children for 2+ years and still think you’re BU. Re the comfort point - if my toddler was kicking off in a shop the first thing I would do is get out of there. Not sit down and “give him a cuddle”!

But whatevs. When bfing you need to stand your ground so you should have done so if you really felt it was an issue.

@Poppinjay well no, but there’s a difference between giving a child affection or sitting to down to breastfeed

@OpportunityKnocks because it goes against my personal beliefs and values.

You had already paid for your shoes, so surely you would then have been leaving the shop rather than going back in to breastfeed your toddler!

I think you were unreasonable. A 2.5 year old can wait a short time until you get to a more appropriate place, and at that age they should be starting to learn that. A 2.5 month old would be different because they are still a small baby and still at the stage of needing fed on demand.

The seats are provided for customers who are trying on shoes. You could have taken your toddler out to the car to feed if it was that necessary.

I really don't see the problem with you having a quick nurse there especially as it wasn't stopping anyone else buying shoes.

At that age, in the middle of a shop YABU, I’m sure he could have waited a couple of minutes until you returned to the car given that you had already made your purchase and were ready to leave. Babies need BF on demand, toddlers don’t.

@LipsyGirl What’s the difference ?

Would people happily shove a dummy in a 2.5 years old mouth in public to shut them up and avoid a meltdown?