Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

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To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

it goes against my personal beliefs and values.

These have no bearing where there is a clear legal entitlement.

Well to hug a child it would take a couple of seconds you don’t have to sit down, you could even carry your child whilst your doing this. Shops are not for eating & drinking it’s not a cafe. A baby yes, I could understand, but I’m a little perplexed as to why a toddler couldn’t wait

@myself2020 How do you know OP doesn’t teach her child about emotions ? Just because she might feed for comfort when sometimes is upset?

The seats are provided for customers who are trying on shoes.

In my experience they're well occupied by people playing on their phones, drinking their coffees, looking immensely bored while their partner tries on shoes.

I don't know why using them to BF is not okay given that context.

@sauvignonblancplz No, but a woman breastfeeding her child wouldn't have offended me either.

I BF both of mine - the bit I didn't like were people who made a point of sitting right beside me whilst I did so or hovered in the area (OK, they were usually men, but anybody within about four foot would have caused my let down to let straight back up again immediately - or distracted said child).

I'd keep out of the way of somebody changing a tube because nobody needs to feel as they're providing entertainment for randoms and if drinking from a water bottle, I'd probably stay clear so I didn't get water spilled on me or Mum went all protective because somebody has sat by her child.

Shops are not for eating & drinking

I've seen plenty of people drinking (and eating) in shops, haven't you?

Are you saying those of us that comfort our children via breastfeeding are not teaching them to experiment out emotions ?
If your child fall and was crying would you leave them there or would you grab them and give them a hug ? Why is it different a cuddle to a coMfort feed? Please stop judging what other mums do for feeding their babies or comforting them.

^ OP is the only one with the ability to comfort her child.
In 6 months time he’ll have free hours in a childcare environment to enjoy- feeding a child of this age because it’s quicker to calm them down is probably opening up a can of worms when they’re older and mummy isn’t there anymore to give them a quick breastfeed.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling w distressed child, or talking to them- it’s teaching them to slowly deal with their feelings.

There’s nothing wrong with breastfeeding a 2.5 year old either, but in a shop to stop a tantrum? I don’t know- op said it was easier for her.

I don’t judge her at all, I really don’t. It’s clear she need more help here though, it must be exhausting.
She is getting a lot of abuse from people who think it’s wrong to breast feed a 2.5 year old- go and fight with them.
I am not interested in debating my comment 😊.

If you’d finished shopping, then why on earth not go back to your car? I’d think the same if you sat down for a cuddle, to be honest. I have a child around the same age. Sometimes he gets told to wait until we’re back in the car or house or whatever for a cuddle with me and his muzzy. It’s not always convenient to drop whatever I’m doing. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing.

@LipsyGirl So only standing, one hip hugs. If she had sat down to put the child on her knee that also wouldn’t have been allowed . Is that what you’re saying?

I was once in a BIG shopping centre, out on the main concourse this guy had set up a stand to flog insurance or something next to a bench seat. I sat down to feed my few week old baby and he got really aggressive and moved me on. I probably wouldn't of fed a toddler where you were unless you were a customer because they can wait 5/10mins.

I’m saying it’s a rather odd place to nurse a toddler. Not a baby but a toddler.

But I think it’s unreasonable that he’s clearly struggling with his emotions and you’re offering a BF because it’s convenient for you, almost like you’re preventing him from exploring these emotions?

He attends Speach and language therapy, sees the HV for regular support until his appointment for the ASD team arrives, does support work at home and in practice outside of the home. Has the nursery also supporting him. None of this is known to you because you did not know, fair enough - But why would you assume it wasn't in place just because he's breastfed?

Sometimes a quick fix is needed. Not just for him, everything I do revolves around doing what's best for him, but sometimes just to save my sanity too. It's very very difficult having a child who doesn't talk and isn't 'normal' and it's constantly pointed out by various family and friends. It's mentally exhausting.

It was these 2 comments that sparked my reaction to op.

‘ My DS often breastfeed to call down in situations he's finding very challenging and getting upset. We try not to and calm down by words but that doesn't always work and breastfeeding is the quickest way.’

And ‘ breastfeeding is an absolute miracle in calming a lot of them down instantly’.

Shops are not for eating & drinking it’s not a cafe

I was on the fence but @LipsyGirl's point above is valid so I think YABU. I wouldn't sit down and give a toddler a snack in a shop so you shouldn't use their seats for BF either.

I know it's tricky, I remember BFing in all sorts of odd places but I never did it in a shop. I'd go back to the car or find a quiet bench somewhere.

@Pinkyyy do you/have you breastfed?

Why does it go against your values to bf in public? It's not sexual, you don't see anything. Genuinely curious.

I hope you change your mind someday. It's so important for bf rates that public breastfeeding is universally accepted.

Which is why I said you should speak to a health professional op, and you have. Great!

Probably YABU

The seats are for trying on shoes.

If I’d just wandered in and sat down to look at my phone, it would be the same.

Apologies Op, have I missed something here. Does your child require extra support, such as in ways others could calm a child down wouldn’t work for your DS?

As you were a customer of the shop, YWNBU. I suspect, though, that they have had bad experiences with other parents using the seating area to change nappies, put toddlers on potties etc. NB I am NOT saying breast-feeding is analogous to changing a nappy; my point is that there are some CF parents out there (and grandparents - shout out to the twats I say changing a pooey nappy on a pub table, surrounded by people having lunch ), so I understand why retailers get fed up and end up being unhelpful even when parents are not BU.

Sorry I'v just seen that you did buy something from the shop so I think you're fine (although I probably would've waited).

there’s a difference between giving a child affection or sitting to down to breastfeed

@LipsyGirl, other than the child, who does that difference affect?

Your latest update gives a lot more info., OP. I think some reactions would've been different if we'd realised.

I’m not sure the OPs reasons for breastfeeding or not are any of our business though.

Could you not have just gone back to your car to do it?
I think it does matter that he is 2.5 because like other PP have said, he old enough to be able to wait for a snack.
Could he not have just had a drink from a cup?

@Poppinjay does it matter who it affects?

Mothers can BF anywhere they like, however you ask if it’s reasonable to Feed a child in a shop IMO is unreasonable.