Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

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To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

The point is to BF in the middle of a retail outlet, on seats that are there for customers to try shoes on. Go & use a bench in a shopping mall, go to a cafe. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should does it

Again - would you say this a woman who was cuddling her child to comfort them?
If you would then fine, I think it’s not necessary to make a child with suspected ASD (or not, even) wait to be comforted in anyway. So we will just have to agree to disagree.

I had to have general anaesthetics when younger and manages to get through it without injuring myself or others. Ties in with my general idea that extended breastfeeders are, For the most part, part of the permissive parenting brigade.

Are you getting permissive parenting and attachment parenting mixed up?

lipsy at the end of the day you are repeatedly stating that you don't think feeding a toddler is necessary. This is a toddler you don't know anything about the development of, or the security issues they might be facing.

I personally think that is bizarre thing to do in any case, whether or not you 'support' BF in general. But its certainly bizarre to claim you do it while not being against BFing toddlers.

@ethelfleda Yes - I would. Those seats are there for customers. Most people just pick their child up. Stop trying to make out I’m anti BF I’m not! But in the middle of a retail outlet when a child is capable of waiting is Ludicrous

M3lon couldn’t agree more.
I’ve co-slept, used a sling, shared a bed with DS (it was convenient for me to do so, only the one!)
And now he is so independent that I find myself grateful of the odd cuddle he will actually give to me!

@M3lon it isn’t necessary to do it on demand when a toddler could wait. Again your twisting my words

Lipsy ok, totally fair enough. I concede that you aren’t against breastfeeding and merely have a different view to me on whether a child should be made to wait for comfort or not.

Isn't this a sign of the times though? We live in a very fast paced society with people working long hours, lengthy commutes, shops open 24 hours a day and adults with so many responsibilities. Eating and drinking on the move is 'the norm' for alot of people as they go about their busy daily routine oh and copious amounts of caffine. I would never judge an adult having a quick coffee or snack on the move and would think gosh that person must lead a very busy life. Even if they don't at the end of the day why should it bother you?
There's eating on the go and then there's wandering around shops eating and drinking. It frustrating to go shopping and have the shops smelling of whatever foodba minority of people have decided must be consumed as they peruse the shelves, or go to pick up an item of clothing to find a grease mark on it because someone has decided that they are so unbelievably busy that it was essential to eat and handle items at the same time.

Given the majority of the population seem to manage just fine without being glued to eating during any and every task, it does seem somewhat unreasonable to expect to eat and drink anywhere and everywhere without any thought.

M3lon

Again, this comes down to where you draw the line on a toddlers needs and their wants. I could soothe my toddler instantly out of every tantrum, whinge or fuss, of I immediately gave him what he wants every time, but that is not going to happen!!!

Ethel - no I’m not. Ime permissive parents are those who think the world revolves around them, their kids and any irritating or invasive habits they have. Whacking your boobs out to pacify your preschooler, as an alternative to saying ‘please wait’, seems to fit within that category.

lipsy so you came on here to state that its not necessary to do a thing immediately when that thing is not needed immediately?

Well thanks for that impressive wisdom!

What if the thing is needed though? How do you , if you are, assert that the child in question didn't 'need' this comfort immediately?

If you are genuinely not referring to the case in hand, then fair do's but pretty odd.

So many on here telling the OP she is being unreasonable because her parenting isn't in line with what they would do. The fact that you think the child should be able to wait, or shouldn't be breastfed at all at that age is beside the point. OP knew that she wanted to feed her child and she did so at a time and place that she was permitted to do so.

I don't personally think two year olds should be given dummies. However, I know that other parents are perfectly entitled to give their child a dummy if that's what they choose to do, just as OP is perfectly entitled to breastfeed her two-year old in a shop if that's what she chooses to do.

Dividing

Spot on. Too many kids just being given whatever they want, immediately, with zero restraint = entitled adults.

no it comes down EXACTLY do nobody here knowing where that line is a for a toddler they have never met!

dividing may I suggest expanding your sample group though before you stereotype every mother who has breastfed a toddler please?
I certainly do not practice permissive parenting. I believe in firm boundaries as well as a lot of affection - and trying to strike the right balance between the two is difficult.
I would not have nursed my child in the same situation, granted. But I fully respect the right of the OP to do so.

@M3lon rather mean of you IMO, I give up!

Enjoy your afternoon gals/guys x

don't personally think two year olds should be given dummies. However, I know that other parents are perfectly entitled to give their child a dummy if that's what they choose to do, just as OP is perfectly entitled to breastfeed her two-year old in a shop if that's what she chooses to do

This a good comparison, actually

M3lon

The kid wasn't going to starve, or be hurt, or get freezing cold, or have an irreparably damaged bond with their parent, for waiting a few minutes. The child will simply be upset, or more likely in the case of a toddler, angry that they haven't got their way. Thus it is not a need. No harm will come to the child from waiting.

lipsy sorry you feel that way....I think its mean to tell a parent they are doing 'unnecessary' things when you haven't the faintest idea what's happening in their or their kids lives....

NoI How do you know that? How do you know any of that?

You don't do you?

You know that an average child that age can usually wait and you've extrapolated inappropriately to this child on this specific occasion.

"I had to have general anaesthetics when younger and manages to get through it without injuring myself or others."

Congratulations on not having a disability that means you get distressed in that situation. Well done you.

I imagine the op's child will be going to nursery or similar in the next year. Can' be insisting on boob food then.

What a pointless contribution, BlueRussian
No, a child can’t nurse if his mother isn’t there with him

Too many kids just being given whatever they want, immediately, with zero restraint = entitled adult

Christ, he’s 2.5.

Do you have similar issues with children being given cuddles, dummies, water, milk in bottles when they want them?