Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

[Refreshed]

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

I should have known better than to comment on a thread like this...🤷🏻‍♀️

Has a klaxon gone off this morning in Nestle HQ?

At least you now know @Chocolatedaim

The shop assistant was out of order to try to make you move. The right to breastfeed is enshrined in law.

However, my person feeling is that just because someone can do something, doesn't mean you always should. Personally, I'd find it a little unusual to sit down in the middle of a shop with a toddler, but totally support your right to do it.

I’m not being rude it’s just fact!

It is being rude, but we aren’t going to agree.

Funny thing is I’m very much an advocate for breast feeding for as long as parent and child are happy with.

But you know my view is irrelevant, over and out

@Dividingthementalload who tells you ops child or my child is not also getting those nutritients from a solids meal?

Actually can you show me stats where it’s disclosed that extended breast feeding is bad?

Anyway why do we always ask for stats regarding feeding and not accept that what a mum decides to do regarding feeding with her child it’s her business and not anyone else’s? Why do we have to shame others for not doing the things we’ve done? Why don’t we respect each other? We’re talking in this thread about respecting others yet many of you aren’t respecting those of us that want to breastfeed until we damm want.

World is the way it’s nowadays because we only think in ourselves and demand others do what we’ve done.

A shoe shop isn’t the place for eating, regardless of what it is

Exactly. Why will not one answer my point about how I, as a vegan, can stop non vegans eating and drinking things I don’t approve of in public ? Like that man sipping his coffee in Clark’s. Disgusting!

But what I was trying to say, and obviously didn’t articulate well enough, was that we need a little consideration for one another

Yes! Non vegans can eat in the car or wait to eat at home, as many people suggested up thread.

But what I was trying to say, and obviously didn’t articulate well enough, was that we need a little consideration for one another.

The OP just sat in an empty chair in a quiet shoe shop. She was hardly putting people out.

It is being rude, but we aren’t going to agree.

In what way is it rude to sit on a seat in a shoe shop? It seems that it only becomes rude once the child starts BFing.

I don't think anyone on this thread is against breast feeding. I don't think anyone particularly minds extended breastfeeding. What most people do find unacceptable is feeding/drinking (of any kind) in a shop, other than for very small babies. I am equally annoyed by anyone, toddler, child or adult, walking around sucking from bottles, or coffee cups, or munching on chips. It is rude, obnoxious and self entitled. It smells, it can spill, get on merchandise or seats, and is just not necessary.

I breastfed mine for years. After 12 mths I didn't do it in public areas, going back to the car would have been my first choice or finding a changing room. This was over 25 years ago, we had to brazen it out then if we wanted to bf in public, I well remember the tuts and the looks! I think I'm veering towards YBU, you had the option to go back to your car and although the other seats were free it might have been because it made others uncomfortable to sit down near you.

@Poppinjay I fully support a woman's right to bf for as long as she and child want, and wherever they want. Live and let live. The child in question here was only 2.5. I'm just genuinely interested in what people on this thread would think if child was older. Would it still be totally fine...in a shoe shop...if child was 4 or 5? Does it ever become "not ok?" I don't know! Obviously we don't really see 10 year olds being bf so when does any breastfeeding mother decide when it is/isn't ok any more? (Stressing here that the mother is the decision maker, not Joe Public).

Like that man sipping his coffee in Clark’s.Disgusting!
Personally I think more people should pay attention to the no food and drink signs on the way into shops. They were certainly a thing when I was a child, though this thread has got me wondering if they still exist.
I find it ridiculous that your average adult can't seem to go to a shop without guzzling whatever snacks and take our coffees are apparently required every 5 seconds.

I have a much bigger issue with adults snacking on things and then touching the clothes than seeing a mum breastfeeding.

The seats in the shoe shop are for trying on shoes. But would you tell someone who was going to collapse from low blood sugar that they couldn't sit there and eat something? Or someone who felt faint couldn't sit for a moment to feel better again? If a toddler is hungry and about to start crying, why not feed him on an available seat?

I wouldn't plan to do it, but if I needed to then I would.

Really interesting how many people think that it is unreasonable unless somewhere you would eat or the child is a certain age etc when that isn't what the law says. Anyone infringing the Equalities Act 2010 is being unreasonable - your own personal view as to what you would or wouldn't do doesn't change that to be honest.

It smells, it can spill, get on merchandise or seats, and is just not necessary.

That doesn't apply to a toddler BFing.

onionface Tue 18-Feb-20 11:23:22
The seats in the shoe shop are for trying on shoes. But would you tell someone who was going to collapse from low blood sugar that they couldn't sit there and eat something? Or someone who felt faint couldn't sit for a moment to feel better again?
....
I get that but this was a toddler over two who wanted some breast milk from his mother, it would not have hurt him to go without for a while. At that age you can talk to them, "Won't be long until we're home darling", and they accept. If they are getting tired and grumpy it's time to go home anyway, kids are fine out shopping up to a point only. Or go to a cafe - M&S even - and buy some food! Let him be grown up sitting at a table. It will also help wean him off the breast.

Op, save the breast for last feed only and you can cut that out soon enough. You've done well to bf for so long but it is really not necessary now. If he has some decent food, he'll get all the nutrition he needs.

It will also help wean him off the breast ... Op, save the breast for last feed only and you can cut that out soon enough. You've done well to bf for so long but it is really not necessary now. If he has some decent food, he'll get all the nutrition he needs.

Why do you assume she wants to wean him?

I'd think it a bit weird you just started breast feeding in a shop, I wouldn't sit down and start eating a sandwich?

I'd have gone to my car for privacy

If a toddler is hungry and about to start crying, why not feed him on an available seat?

For exactly the same reason you wouldn’t let a toddler get their toy train out and drive it around the store floor to prevent them from crying because they had an immediate want to play with their train because they are bored of mum looking at shoes. Teaching about appropriate time and place and that you are okay if your wants are not satisfied instantaneously.

Why do you assume she wants to wean him?

I would imagine because there's no need for a boy over 2 and a half years old to breastfeed if he can eat a balanced diet. I'm not being goady here, but mammals are made to breastfeed until they can get their nutrients from solid food. That's what milk production is for, in nature, across all species.

I'd think it a bit weird you just started breast feeding in a shop, I wouldn't sit down and start eating a sandwich?

I'd have gone to my car for privacy

@CorianderLord - at last! Someone who is on my side! Will you sign up my pledge to not eat non vegan products in public, in case it offends vegans like me ?

Non vegans can eat in their car , like you always do. Or specially screened off areas in the toilets in department stores. Or with a scarf of pashmina tastefully draped over their heads.

I don’t think it’s much to ask. After all there’s a time and a place to eat animal products and that’s not in public.

I would imagine because there's no need for a boy over 2 and a half years old to breastfeed if he can eat a balanced diet.

But it’s not about pure nutritional need now is it?There are lots of additional benefits for both.

but mammals are made to breastfeed until they can get their nutrients from solid food. That's what milk production is for, in nature, across all species.

No, that’s not true at all. Many species continue much longer than that.

'I find it ridiculous that your average adult can't seem to go to a shop without guzzling whatever snacks and take our coffees are apparently required every 5 seconds.'

Isn't this a sign of the times though? We live in a very fast paced society with people working long hours, lengthy commutes, shops open 24 hours a day and adults with so many responsibilities. Eating and drinking on the move is 'the norm' for alot of people as they go about their busy daily routine oh and copious amounts of caffine. I would never judge an adult having a quick coffee or snack on the move and would think gosh that person must lead a very busy life. Even if they don't at the end of the day why should it bother you?