Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

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To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

Ive just been unable to tag you... I’m guessing you’re in the middle of a name change to troll someone or to agree with yourself. Get a life love!

Not at all. I’ve no idea why you can’t tag me, I never bother with that.

Report me if you think I’m doing something wrong.

I suggest you take your own advice.

'I have formula fed due to medical necessity and other than that, it should really be discouraged'

It's that sort of attitude that causes new Mums a great deal of stress. Fed is best now ever the mother wishes to feed her baby. Happy Mum equals happy baby. Why does this sort of thread always turn into a breast versus formula debate. There isnt a debate because it doesnt matter how other people feed their babies!

For the person saying there aren’t really any benefits to bf after 6 months in developed countries you are SO wrong!!! There are antibodies and growth factors that are so beneficial for children breastmilk is amazing and you can’t replicate it yes you can get adequate nutrition from other sources but not the above factors I mentioned and these are beneficial for children past 6 months on many occasions bf has saved my children from dehydration when they couldn’t keep anything else down

And all this about bf 10 or 15 year olds - it’s nonsense and just a shock tactic I bf 2 of my dc till 4.5 - they self weaned as just lost the ability to suck effectively it’s what happens

@AvoidingRealHumans yes exactly! That is completely the point I was trying to male earlier, you said it so much better!

make^

larrygrylls

There are plenty of benefits for breastfeeding for as long a mother and child want to breastfeed. The main benefits do not just stop after a few weeks. It assists their immune system for as long as they breastfeed for a start. As for evidence, look at the WHO website and extended breastfeeding. They'll tell you everything you need to know.

Probably. It's their shop - they can impose whatever rules they like
Nope, they can't. I'm guessing you haven't read the thread, and the legal clarification snoozyloo ?

@LaurieMarlow it's dead easy to tag you Laurie

There is a lot of ‘need to feed’ here. At 2.5 a child doesn’t need to feed on demand, breast or otherwise. At that age, milk is part of a normal balanced diet along with proper food. A need to feed a screaming baby, yes I get it and have been there. With a toddler, at 2.5 with all their words and comprehension, that is exactly the time to say: Ben we are in a shop. We don’t eat in shops. We’ll buy our shoes and then get some lunch. Easy peasy.

I stand by my first post : it’s for mum’s convenience and well being past 2, not baby’s.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

It's quite possible for some babies to go from not hungey to hungry in a matter of seconds. Demand feeding is recommended these days so that you could feed your baby at home, go out and they'll need another feed 20 mins later. Things have obviously changed a lot since you had your babies.

Cat a baby perhaps, but not an older toddler as the OP is discussing.

God. Id be horrified if my big toddler wanted to breast feed. I did breast feed but stopped at 10 months.

I think the intamacy part of it just made me feel odd. I was very much 'you can eat now, I get my body back'.

I stand by my first post : it’s for mum’s convenience and well being past 2, not baby’s.

What is? BFing?

@Dividingthementalload I completely agree with your post however in this instance op needed to feed as a matter of urgency because her child has ASD etc so telling the child to wait a minute would not have worked.

As a mother of a child with ASD we are taught to use ABC to manage behavior i.e look at what the antecedents (triggers) are that lead to a behaviour and then check that the consequences (e.g giving food to quieten a child) do not reinforce the behaviour.

Part of this approach is stepping in to prevent the behaviour in the first place. This may mean a quick feed to calm and/or distract a child at first sign of anxiety before they get upset rather than using the feed after they are upset to calm them which will reinfoce the negative behaviour. This may mean feeding them in a shop rather than making them wait as others are urging.

That said OP is legally entitled to bf feed her child in a shop whether said child has asd or not.

Were you a customer at the shoe shop ? If so they were being unreasonable. As for your toddlers age, that's not relevant. Good for you for breast feeding still.

'That said OP is legally entitled to bf feed her child in a shop whether said child has asd or not.'
Yes but more of an urgency to with the ASD. I think that's what a lot of posters are ignoring.

2.5 months - not unreasonable at all, waiting for food then is a little harder for baby.

2.5 years they could wait a little bit, may be a better idea to BF somewhere more relaxing and less busy. Either way you have a right to breastfeed where ever you want, but personally I would prefer a cafe or a quiet place.

But @auslass op's child has ASD.

The 3 year WHO guidance is for places without reliable clean water

Then why would the NHS bother to promote it so much? Seeing as they’re only concerned with health outcomes of people in the UK?

Apologies! Didn't realise the ASD element, like I said you have a right to feed where ever and whenever, no one can ask you to stop.

Laurie - extended breast feeding. I’m yet to hear an argument that convinces me it’s for baby’s benefit and not mum’s.

I know many IRL. Without exception in my experience (which I accept isn’t necessarily representative nationwide but is an interesting sample) it is part of a wider parenting style that I would describe as largely permissive. Where behaviour is very much claimed to be baby/child led but is really for parents benefit: how they want to be or be seen, what they think makes a good mum, an active desire not to conform to stringent western parenting mores - rather than what is best for baby and child in terms of nutrition, boundaries and healthy development.

It’s an interesting debate. I think mumsnet isn’t always representative of real life. If a large toddler started suckling mum in that kind of public forum in most major towns, 95 percent of people would be think it was odd/gross/unnecessary. I think the OP has come off a bit better because of mumsnet’s particular diversity.

I don't have any teenagers. I assume youre referring to then other thread I commented on, which I said something along the lines of ''I know some lovely teenagers''.

No, no idea what you are going on about or your other thread whatever that may be or what you think if teenagers. It was in response to another poster claiming theirs are brill, because they were able to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted in regards to food and drink as kids.

I stand by my first post : it’s for mum’s convenience and well being past 2, not baby’s

I agree. All this hysteria around BFing being best blah blah blah but for a country with such low take up you'd think there would be a national health crisis with all these breast milk deprived babies growing up to be allergy infested, sickly adults. It's all bullshit. The entitled. smug attitude and militant views of BF women are so tiresome. Then demanding some sort of recognition and applause because they managed to BF until kid was 4. Who cares. As long as a baby is being fed that is all that matters. My DD was BF and she got every allergy going and then contracted leukaemia. So much for the benefits hey.

Here is one study on the benefits of extended breastfeeding. It is interesting becuase the group of mothers (in Brazil) who bf had a similar IQ/economic profile to those who bottle fed
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/mar/18/brazil-longer-babies-breastfed-more-achieve-in-life-major-study