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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:50

If she does actually have a let down like a water cannon I have changed my mind about the reasonableness of feeding in a shoe shop Wink

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 17/02/2020 20:50

I said quavers just to give an example of a food item... give them an apple, some juice, a banana or maybe just leave the shop and go to a feeding room. Most shopping centres or department stores have them. At 2.5, it isn’t that urgent to stop wherever you are and breastfeed. It’s inappropriate to do it in the middle of a shop where people are trying shoes on and could potentially want to sit down. Op felt the need to post it on here to get people riled up about the right to breastfeed. I still breastfeed DS2 but it isn’t my God given right to do what I want, whenever and wherever I want to. We’re talking about a 2.5 YEAR old and not a 2.5 month old.

MrHodgeymaheg · 17/02/2020 20:51

I think they were BU. It would be annoying to some people if you just walked in and bf there, but it wouldn't bother me if it was my shop because I'm not an arsehole and there are bigger things going on in the world that are worth debating about.

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:51

If the mother and child have a right to be there them they’ve the right to feed.

So no, she couldn’t take up a table in a cafe without purchasing food. But so long as she’s a paying customer, no problem.

intraining · 17/02/2020 20:52

@Mamato2gorgeousboys You say you've breastfed twice...? On two occasions?

B0bbin · 17/02/2020 20:52

So many people being awfully rude about a perfectly natural thing. It's not the same as food. It's not just like having crackers. Lots of people with very little understanding of bf seem to be parading their ignorance. It's not a sign that OP cannot manage DS's behaviour effectively. It's a gentle and perfectly normal way to comfort a toddler while they are still learning about the world. It goes hand in hand with a few words of reassurance. It's awful that you were made to feel you were doing something wrong OP.

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:53

Not really Hears, if I sat in KFC and took my bra off for a laugh I could be asked to leave, if I did it to attach a baby to my breast I could not be. With some health and safety exceptions, a mother can bf her child anywhere the child is allowed to be.

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:53

but it isn’t my God given right to do what I want, whenever and wherever I want to

Actually it is your legal right to feed in any place where you and your baby are allowed to be.

madmumofteens · 17/02/2020 20:54

I breastfed both my children and was always discreet and used designed areas I would be very uncomfortable seeing a 2.5 yr being BF in a shoe shop sorry

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:55

Mama you are still giving no reason why it's inappropriate (other than someone else wanting the seat, which is not really what irks you) or why juice etc are better then breastmilk.
Still, knowing so many people have this attitude is why I've fed my toddler in so many toilet cubicles. Sad

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:55

I would be very uncomfortable seeing a 2.5 yr being BF in a shoe shop sorry

Why? Because you think breasts are really for sex presumably.

What a sad attitude from someone who fed her own. Sad

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:55

When all tea and coffee us taken into consideration, plus milk on Cereal, yes and more.

A drizzle of milk in tea and coffee is hardly the same as 8 glasses of whole milk.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 17/02/2020 20:55

@intraining yes, well done you! That’s exactly what I meant Wink. Or maybe... I meant that I have breastfed my children.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:56

Oh and cereal is food Smile

PickettBowtruckles · 17/02/2020 20:57

The amount of comments on this thread “I support breastfeeding/I’m all for breastfeeding/ BUT...”. It’s just not necessary, no ‘buts’ needed. Legally the OP has absolutely every right to breastfeed her child anywhere that a child is permitted to be. Comparing it to giving the child a sandwich is a totally different situation, and saying he should be having a snack instead is also pointless as we don’t know the OPs child and there’s every chance that he actually wanted a feed to calm down or be comforted. My DD has never accepted a dummy, doesn’t have any attachment to any kind of taggy or soft toy, and isn’t interested in a cuddle when she’s having a meltdown, a breastfeed is all that will fix it and that’s normal with a huge amount of breastfed kids.

OP, you’re doing bloody amazing to still be feeding a 2.5 year old. Considering less than 1% are breastfeeding at 1, I’d be super proud of yourself. Feed wherever, and whenever you need to!

Sux2buthen · 17/02/2020 20:57

All very interesting but still irrelevant.
Once more: it's legally protected. Almost anywhere.
If it makes someone uncomfortable' they can always....not look? And some knickers in a larger size so they don't get too uncomfortable when they are knotting

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:57

A drizzle of milk in tea and coffee is hardly the same as 8 glasses of whole milk.

Some people take a lot of milk in hot drinks.

Anyway, the baby’s only feeding for a minute or two, how do you know he’s getting a glass of milk in each feed?

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:58

Oh and cereal is food

Gosh aren’t you smart Wink

Cherry4weans · 17/02/2020 20:58

Glad I'm in a country where its illegal to stop a mother breastfeeding anywhere unless dangerous.

joffreyscoffees · 17/02/2020 20:58

But if you'd already bought the shoes, why didn't you just leave the shop and go to your car and feed? What happened between paying for the shoes and the door that meant that DS had to fed that instant and you had to sit down?

I couldn't breastfeed so I can't directly compare but if DD is getting upset or stressed at being out shopping, I give her a snack - like some Pom bears, a banana, apple slices, oat bar etc. I'd never give her a bottle of milk (I don't even take them out) even though she loves them because I don't feel she needs it aside from morning and bedtime.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:58

If I fed my son 8 glasses of whole milk Laurie he wouldn't eat his meals. As long as a toddler is eating plenty food and their diet isnt made up of mostly milk than it is fine

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:59

As long as a toddler is eating plenty food and their diet isnt made up of mostly milk than it is fine

And presumably his mothers in a much better position to determine that than you?

intraining · 17/02/2020 21:00

@Mamato2gorgeousboys sorry I lowered the tone with sarcasm. I find it hard to believe your views when you've breastfed both your children. I'm guessing you didn't feed them into toddlerhood?

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 21:00

Joffrey - would you give your child a cuddle, or make her wait till she was in the car? Ditto a blankie or dummy. For many children, bfing is like that more than it is like food.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 17/02/2020 21:01

Yes, legally I can breastfeed wherever I want. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be considerate of others.

I have breastfed in many places- cafes, restaurants, the park, feeding rooms, a bench in a shopping centre, aeroplanes and so on. I always choose to pick a discreet place where I won’t be in the way or bother anybody else.

@Tombakersscarf I do not at all agree that you should feed in a toilet cubicle. I just genuinely think that there are so many other places to feed, that the middle of a shop is not the best option.