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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
Colabottles64 · 17/02/2020 20:16

Pretty grim in a shoe shop

It wouldn’t be grim to sip some water in a shoe shop. It wouldn’t be grim to sip from a beaker in a shoe shop. It’s not grim to bf a child in a shoe shop.

So many people are being very unreasonable on this thread in their attitudes towards breastfeeding - but there’s nothing new there I suppose. OP, you shouldn’t have been treated this way in the shop. Hope you don’t encounter this again when you bf your child in public.

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:27

" A business cannot discriminate against mothers who are breastfeeding a child of any age.
The Equality Act 2010 has specifically clarified that it is unlawful for a business to discriminate against a woman because she is breastfeeding a child.
A business may ask a breastfeeding woman to leave their premises if the reason for this request is not due to her breastfeeding. However, if the woman later claims that discrimination occurred because she was breastfeeding, the business will have to prove that there was in fact no discrimination"
@Hearhoovesthinkzebras
If a child is not allowed in there (a pub for example) then they aren't allowed to be bf there either, but if the child is allowed in they can be bf there.

melissasummerfield · 17/02/2020 20:29

Another entitled parent raising entitled children!

Learn how to parent your child effectively, what will you do when he is five and cranky when you cant stick your nipple in his mouth?

Frezia · 17/02/2020 20:29

What an ugly thread. This level of ignorance and internalised sexism is grim. Of course YANBU.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:34

'My 2 year old is fed 3 times in the night and has about 5 feeds in the day one big one at nap time and the rest are just a few minutes it’s actually quite normal'

Toddlers should be surely having more food than milk at this age.

EffYouSeeKaye · 17/02/2020 20:35

Melissa what an unkind post. Have you RTFT? Op has gone on to explain her child is not NT and has a range of (possibly) ASD behaviours. She actually sounds like she is in a stressful situation and just doing her best.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:35

To be honest if the child was sitting eating lunch there I still think the staff member would have commented if not buying shoes. It doesnt sound like it was deliberate.

intraining · 17/02/2020 20:36

YANBU.... Clearly the people who voted YABU have never breastfed a 2.5 yo and asked them to wait to feed. The shop assistant asking you to move... Essentially telling you to stop is illegal and I would report the assistant

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 17/02/2020 20:38

Thank you @Tombakersscarf but surely a business could say that only, for example, paying customers will be accommodated can't they? So would a cafe have to allow a woman to sit in there only to breastfeed but not have to buy anything even if no one else would be allowed to sit down without buying something?

Or in say a supermarket that doesn't have a cafe, do they have to provide a bf mum with a space to bf when the facility doesn't exist for any other customers?

In both of those examples the bf mum isn't being discriminated against are they?

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:38

Toddlers should be surely having more food than milk at this age.

I’m sure he is. I’m a grown up and I have more that 8 drinks in a day. I’m not sure what’s so outrageous about a toddler having that many.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 17/02/2020 20:38

No, it is not okay to breastfeed a 2.5 year old in the middle of a shop. I have breastfed twice and it wouldn’t occur to me to pop the baby on in the middle of bloody Clarks. If it was a baby then it may just about be acceptable as they’re unpredictable and don’t always follow their routine if they’re going through a leap but a 2.5 year old can wait. If he’s hungry, give him a pack of quavers and spare the rest of us please. The fact that you even have to ask if YABU staggers me.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:40

intraining but most 2.5yr olds should be able to wait, of course they should, it's hardly the same urgency as a newborn to feed them then and there. However if op's child has ASD etc I can see why there is an urgency in her case.

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:40

Another entitled parent raising entitled children!

Jesus who are you, the fucking Trunchbull?

It’s a toddler, potentially with SEN, having a comforting drink. Shoot them all now. Hmm

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:41

Well, if I was walking around the supermarket feeding in a sling, I'm not doing anything other customers don't have access to? There are seats available at the checkouts in most supermarkets actually.
I agree re paying customer in a cafe. Is there an issue with mothers going into cafes just to feed? I'm sure most want their own Brew and Cake !
If the shoe shop threw the OP out it would be up to them to prove she was not a potential customer (can't really decide when people walk into a shoe shop if they are going to buy something, by their nature people go in to browse and try things on before buying).

napmeistergeneral · 17/02/2020 20:42

Mamato2gorgeousboys spare the rest of you from what exactly?

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:43

@Mamato2gorgeousboys did you seriously say it would be better for a toddler to have a packet of quavers than a feed from its mother? Hmm get a fucking grip

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:43

spare the rest of us please

Spare us what? A potential, teeny tiny flash of the OPs boob. Get over your ridiculous self.

And no wonder we’re in the middle of an obesity crisis if you’re advocating quavers rather than breastmilk. Confused

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:43

'I’m sure he is. I’m a grown up and I have more that 8 drinks in a day. I’m not sure what’s so outrageous about a toddler having that many.'

Do you have 8 glasses of milk Laurie pm top of a full diet? Milk is filling especially on such a little tummy so that amount of feeds day and night seems alot and like it is overtaking the food.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 20:43

on^

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:44

Do you have 8 glasses of milk Laurie pm top of a full diet?

When all tea and coffee us taken into consideration, plus milk on Cereal, yes and more.

Tombakersscarf · 17/02/2020 20:47

I think you're mixing up your gin consumption with your milk consumption Laurie Grin

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 20:48

I think you're mixing up your gin consumption with your milk consumption Laurie

Nah. Two gins max. On a school night.

intraining · 17/02/2020 20:48

@Yesterdayforgotten I agree it's not the same urgency... But 2.5 years old is still very young and why should they have to wait if they have a loving parent who is willing to feed them wherever. It's quite complex and people mostly think it's just... Drink... Or feed, but it's more than that. I would love a day when everybody is educated on breastfeeding as a whole.

DesLynamsMoustache · 17/02/2020 20:49

That poster literally said most feeds are a few mins long. He won't be getting a full glass of milk in a few mins unless she has a letdown like a fucking water cannon.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 17/02/2020 20:49

Is there an issue with mothers going into cafes just to feed?

Do you mean do I have an issue or is it an issue for the business?

They were just examples so that I can fully understand the law. If I'm understanding you properly bf mums don't have the right to feed anywhere but they do have the right to not be discriminated against ie not be treated any differently to other people. So a business could request that they leave if other people would be asked to leave given the same circumstances.