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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
DesLynamsMoustache · 17/02/2020 21:01

Unfortunately for anyone uncomfortable seeing a toddler being breastfed in a shop or indeed anywhere, tough shit. You'll just have to get on with your life as best you can because women are rightfully entitled to feed their babies and toddlers anywhere they like, and if you happen to see a brief glance of someone's tit and it makes you upset, then have a fucking word with yourself, because it's a completely natural thing and the way young children are meant to be fed. But hey, better to feed milk from the breast of a cow out of a plastic cup, right? Hmm

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 21:01

'Gosh aren’t you smart Wink '

Blush (eats cereal for supper)

FET2020 · 17/02/2020 21:03

Can’t believe some of the responses. Of course you should be able to breastfeed your child wherever and whenever you need to. WHO recommend breastfeeding until 3 years old!

B0bbin · 17/02/2020 21:03

would you give your child a cuddle, or make her wait till she was in the car? Ditto a blankie or dummy. For many children, bfing is like that more than it is like food.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 21:03

'Anyway, the baby’s only feeding for a minute or two, how do you know he’s getting a glass of milk in each feed?'

Didnt say he was. Smile

Soontobe60 · 17/02/2020 21:03

So actually, your post should have said
I went into a shoe shop, which was the only shop around, bought my toddler some shoes and as he/she then had a meltdown from which couldn't immediately console them I decided to give him a quick feed because I know from past experience this takes minutes. The shop was almost empty, no one was trying on shoes.
In that case, YANBU. However, for the way you drip fed this information, YAB very goady and therefore U.

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 21:03

It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be considerate of others.

I don’t understand why such efforts need to be put into ‘considering’ others who can simply look the other way if they want to.

I’m rather more interested in being considerate of my baby’s needs.

Serin · 17/02/2020 21:03

I breast fed mine until aged 3 but at what age does the law specify it's not ok to BF a child in public?
Surely not aged 18 Grin

PickettBowtruckles · 17/02/2020 21:04

@DesLynamsMoustache
and if you happen to see a brief glance of someone's tit and it makes you upset, then have a fucking word with yourself, because it's a completely natural thing and the way young children are meant to be fed. But hey, better to feed milk from the breast of a cow out of a plastic cup, right? hmm

This. With bells on.

B0bbin · 17/02/2020 21:04

Sorry TomBaker'sScarf, meant to agree with your post by quoting it, not just copying it...

MrHodgeymaheg · 17/02/2020 21:05

I find it so odd that people find feeding a child so strange. It's like they have some weird supressed sexual thing about breasts - their purpose is for feeding above anything else. Just let people get on with it for goodness sake. It's none of your business.

This thread does not represent the general public though. It's full of trolls and people who loiter on the BBC website calling young people snowflakes. I'm so glad that in the real world people don't think like some of the posters on here.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 21:05

Or maybe I did Grin 8 glasses/feeds I stand by the fact that toddlers should be eating plenty of food and not being filled up with too much milk. If the latter is not the case than fantastic Wink

swimmingclubs · 17/02/2020 21:06

It's fine, assistant had a problem with you bf, you did nothing wrong, shame people are so ignorant about the benefits up to age 6.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 17/02/2020 21:06

@intraining First time round, I fed until 13 months and now I’m 6 months in and still feeding. I would have fed longer the first time but it was really difficult to maintain when I returned to work. I would have loved to breastfeed for as long as Op. My issue isn’t at all with breastfeeding... I’m sure I’ve flashed some nipple myself without realising. I think it’s great that Op is still feeding. However, that still means that she needs to be considerate of others.

joffreyscoffees · 17/02/2020 21:06

Probably none of those things.. dummy is for sleeping (she's not bothered for it otherwise), she isn't attached to anything like a blankie and hates cuddles unless they're on her terms. That's just DD though.

I'm not disputing that it provides comfort but I just think a picking up and carrying to the car with some talking wouldn't have been such an issue.

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 21:06

Didnt say he was.

Well I’ve no fucking idea why you went down the ‘but is he getting enough food’ rabbit hole, but here’s hoping that’s over now.

MrHodgeymaheg · 17/02/2020 21:07

Well said DesLynham

Sleepyblueocean · 17/02/2020 21:08

YappityYapYap when my teenager with asd was a toddler he couldn't wait for things. He can for short amounts of time now but that has taken a long time to learn with the waiting being learnt at appropriate times in appropriate ways. Children with asd are all different and just because your child can do things by a certain age don't assume that others can.

OldHarrysGameboy · 17/02/2020 21:09

Agree with everyone saying breastfeeding isn't like giving a snack. It's engaging in a symbiotic biological function that isn't like anything else which is why as an activity it has a particular and unique protected status.

OP yanbu at all. You have a right to breastfeed your child and you were discouraged from exercising that right. I'm sorry it happened to you and sorry also to see some of the woefully ignorant comments on here. Fucking pom bears ffs. Listen to yourselves.

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 21:09

Great post DesLynham

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 17/02/2020 21:10

@LaurieMarlow The point is though that Op doesn’t have a baby - her dc is 2.5 years old. I agree that the needs of a baby come before anything else.

Being considerate of others is important in society.

sauvignonblancplz · 17/02/2020 21:10

I genuinely don’t understand it when people use ‘being considerate of others’ as a reason not to breastfeed. What’s inconsiderate about breastfeeding?

OldHarrysGameboy · 17/02/2020 21:12

Also I fail to see how feeding a child constitutes being inconsiderate of others. Could someone spell this out for me?

LaurieMarlow · 17/02/2020 21:12

her dc is 2.5 years old. I agree that the needs of a baby come before anything else.

The needs of a 2.5 year old are right up there, frankly.

Being considerate of others is important in society.

Not if they’re idiots who can’t cope with a perfectly natural, nurturing act, no.

OldHarrysGameboy · 17/02/2020 21:12

Snap @sauvignonblancplz.