Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

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To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

Yabu. Regardless of any special needs you need to find a way to comfort your child when it's not suitable to feed.

A shoe shop is not appropriate. I have a 2 year old and battle tantrums all the time. I try different strategies. Some work . Some dont. Sometimes I have to man handle him out of the shop/cafe/play area etc. That's life with a 2 year old.

Just this...

I said yanbu at first and then realised his age. At that age he can wait until you can get to a place that isn’t designated for another purpose, like shoe fitting.

If a baby I would have said you need to find the nearest place sometimes!

Coming back to this hours later and god how depressing. I'm with LetItGoHome. There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public, no matter what the age. The shop was in the wrong, pull them up on it. A better use of your time than reading most of these comments.

All these people who would feel uncomfortable and leave the shop without buying anything, as if your shoes would somehow be tainted by association! I'm pretty incredulous tbh.

The seats in the shoe shop have one intended purpose - for customers to sit on whilst trying on shoes. Regardless of how many others were in the shop, it was a bit CF to just plonk yourself down after finishing your transaction so you could placate your child with food.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with breastfeeding a toddler in public! I just think those seats were for a specific purpose. Sometimes of course that can be overridden, e.g. a baby needing to breast or bottle feed urgently, someone coming over faint/ unsteady etc but this isn’t sufficiently urgent. A toddler can wait to bf just as they can for any other type of snack. In fact, I don’t think toddlers should be bf on demand, as you wouldn’t give them any other snack the minute they ask for it.

YABU, a 2.5 year old doesn’t need breastfed in a shop.

@maddiemookins16mum, a 2.5 year old with ASD may well need breastfeeding anywhere.

YABU, a 2.5 year old doesn’t need breastfed in a shop.

I don’t need a takeaway coffee when I’m out and about either, but I don’t see anyone trying to police that.

Why are my ‘non needs’ more important than a toddler’s with potential SEN?

It’s not an odd thing to do! Many women breastfeed children that age, they tend to do it out of sight of people like many on here who think it’s ok for them to judge something perfectly natural happening to meet a child’s need. For connection with mum. NOT A SNACK. For some reason it is really pissing me off how many people are referring to bf as snacking! Not the same thing.

YANBU at all - your child needed comfort and you gave it to him. Perfectly normal parenting - no idea what people are going on about. Natural term weaning is between 3 years and 7 years old.

It's odd that people would be so outraged or offended or other reaction upon seeing a toddler bf that they would actually have to leave - it wouldn't be enough to just not look, or try on shoes somewhere else, they actually have to flee. Really strange!

For those saying she sounds entitled - well, that's because she is. She is entitled to feed her child wherever and whenever.

If I saw you, I might have done a small double take as it's not a frequent sight. But it wouldn't bother me, why would it? It also isn't inconveniencing anyone at all, there's no reason why anyone could be offended - other people wouldn't do it, but that's irrelevant.

I have very mixed feelings about this. I still breastfeed my 19 month old but I do not do it in public because I appreciate that it makes people uncomfortable. It makes me sad that I don’t but I do think once they are running around and talking/very big it isn’t the same as a baby who needs it instantly and cannot consume anything else. So it’s not something I would do personally.

BUT - it’s your legal right to feed wherever, I feel that extended BF should be supported more in this country AND you were a paying customer so not being cheeky. So on balance I think YANBU.

This thread makes me sad.

OP- you can legally breastfeed your child anywhere. If someone tells you not to they are breaking the law.

I stopped Bf at 14 months, I actually wish I’d gone on for longer as it can be great for tantrums/ comfort. I worry for society when a quick feed causes such outrage. If anything we need to normalise it- no wonder breastfeeding rates are so ridiculously low.

If you had a baby YANBU. A 2.5 year old can wait. I wouldn't give my child a snack in a shop and breastfeeding is not a necessity at that age.

Too old to have any need to do it in public. Pretty grim in a shoe shoe. Sorry

What's grim about it? Even if you want to compare BF to drinking from a cup, and didn't approve of it in shops, you couldn't describe it as grim. What an odd word to use

If you were there as a customer then maybe YANBU.
If you just plonked yourself down randomly, not looking to buy, then YABVU.

'You come across as quite the entitled exhibitionist OP.'

I've heard it all now. Bf as a sexual offence.

But then again I'm not really shocked (just thoroughly depressed), because therein lies the problem - we are in a culture where breasts have been so extremely sexualised that the immediate assumption at someone using them for their actual purpose is that some kind of offensive titillation must be going on. It's a rather misogynist attitude, tbh. Fine to have breasts bulging out of low-cut dresses, on passive display. A tiny glimpse of part of one being fed from and people are having conniptions.

None of those who have been attempting to dress their distaste up as being about not consuming 'food' in shops or about teaching children to wait have explained exactly why any of that is any of their business.

And at 'a 2yo should be sleeping through'.

People use words like grim because they are so socialised to think that breasts are primarily for sex. And many don’t even realise that’s what informs their reaction.

you can legally breastfeed your child anywhere. If someone tells you not to they are breaking the law.

Can someone clarify this? Is this true? Only other people have quoted the Equality Act, stating that bf mums are protected from discrimination, which is different to saying they have a right to bf anywhere.

Asking me to leave a cafe because I start bf is quite different to the cafe asking me to leave when I start bf because only paying customers can sit there and they would treat all non paying customers in the same way.

Surely all businesses aren't legally required to accommodate bf mums regardless of whether they are a customer or not are they?

Pretty grim in a shoe shoe. Sorry!

You don’t sound very bright.

If this thread was entitled ‘IABU to have sat down in the shoe shop to comfort my toddler’ I highly doubt you’d all be kicking off about it.

Surely they could have waited?

The shop assistant was breaking the law to move you on. This would apply if your child was 10 months or 10 years

I’m sorry but I would have to move someone on if they were breast feeding a 10 year old.

When my DD was that age she was still bf, though I was cutting out day time feeds by then but if she'd been really upset for some reason I would have fed her. You were a customer and you say the shop was quiet with other free seats so yanbu definitely. Some people are funny about bf-ing full stop but especially when they get a bit older, which I think is quite upsetting really. When I see a little toddler or baby feeding whether it's from a bottle or a breast, it makes me smile, because they always look so content.