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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
LipsyGirl · 17/02/2020 14:57

@sauvignonblancplz

Lack of empathy? When I’ve clearly said it’s not wrong at all I personally find it odd, as I wouldn’t be comfortable BF in a shop when I could go to a cafe etc. Good for Op for feeling comfortable enough to do it but I’m basing my replies on how I feel about myself in that situation

OpportunityKnocks · 17/02/2020 15:01

@Pinkyyy such a shame. It sound alike your culture does not support breastfeeding :(

izzywizzygood · 17/02/2020 15:02

Yes, I also would like to know what cultural values prohibit BF. Boobs are made for breastfeeding, and by the PP's logic then it's against her cultural values to have a baby also, as her womb and other female only anatomy are utterly redundant too!
How come having a baby through the vagina is ok, but not using other parts of the body to breastfeed?

sauvignonblancplz · 17/02/2020 15:03

@LipsyGirl
You said OP was U to feed her child if they were hungry, that they could wait. You also said that a cuddle would more than suffice. You then said that if the child has SN then actually it’s ok...
I’m pointing the point across that irregardless of SN, hungry etc if a woman wants to nurse her child wherever she should have the freedom and protection to do so.
Which she does have by law.

Do you understand?

LipsyGirl · 17/02/2020 15:09

As a lot of PP have pointed out their DC would be able to wait at that age. Ops DC cannot!

Some children cannot communicate like others so need extra care. This is why I said it would be reasonable.

Again I will add I never said this was wrong of Op did I now?

KellyHall · 17/02/2020 15:11

I'd say YABU for feeding there.

Surely a 2.5 year old can wait for nourishment, or have a more mobile snack?

If feeding for comfort, isn't there any other way to comfort them when trying on/buying shoes??

Paulolina · 17/02/2020 15:12

You should've given him a cows breast milk instead apparently that is more normal

KellyHall · 17/02/2020 15:12

Unreasonable sounds too harsh though. I'd go with unnecessary!

sauvignonblancplz · 17/02/2020 15:14

You said she was BU! Confused

KellyHall · 17/02/2020 15:14

Paulolina - you made me laugh! So true!

I've started calling cow's milk "cow's breast milk" to make it obvious what it actually is.

Breastmilk is very wrongly viewed, it is the only natural milk for our species!

LipsyGirl · 17/02/2020 15:15

I’m not going anymore into this, is it unreasonable for a toddler to be unable to wait if they are hungry -Yes IMO but I’ve stared above numerous times if Op feels her DC needs this then NU

PixieDustt · 17/02/2020 15:15

YANBU.
'Trying on seats' give over what are the other seats for in a bloody shoe shop then!

Feed where you got to feed imo

KellyHall · 17/02/2020 15:16

Yes, I think at that age it isn't necessary to breastfeed wherever/whenever, although obviously that is a right all us breastfeeding mothers have. By the time my dd was that age, I'd have been concerned if breastfeeding was my only tool for snacks/comfort/etc.

oldfashionedtastingtea · 17/02/2020 15:18

I wouldn't feed a toddler in a shoe shop. The fact that you breastfeed doesn't change my opinion.

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 15:20

I wouldn't feed a toddler in a shop either old. Because of mess. Breastfeeding doesn't count

OP posts:
MrsPotatoHeadsSheeWee · 17/02/2020 15:20

Bahaha at the people who think 'toddlers can wait'.

Still waiting to hear which culture really looks down on breastfeeding. I mean apart from MN.

M3lon · 17/02/2020 15:21

hmm..I think I'd have asked where in the shop would be better. I mean you are a customer so you have the right...and if not on those seats then where?

I'd email them and ask what alternative provision they have....

DippyAvocado · 17/02/2020 15:22

I’m pointing the point across that irregardless of SN, hungry etc if a woman wants to nurse her child wherever she should have the freedom and protection to do so.
Which she does have by law.

Exactly. Breastfeeding mothers have the right enshrined in law to be protected against discrimination in the same way as other groups (based on disability, gender, race) have had their rights legislated for. It doesn't matter if anyone thinks OP was being unreasonable. They are wrong from a legal standpoint. If the OP was asked to stop by the assistant without being offered a suitable alternative then the member of staff was breaking the law and OP is within her rights to lodge a formal complaint.

M3lon · 17/02/2020 15:22

I'm also a bit baffled by all the people on here who apparently never gave their toddler a snack in a shop.....

tempnamechange98765 · 17/02/2020 15:22

I think YABI, as pp have said you would hardly settle him down there with any other form of nourishment, whether it be a snack, bottle/cup of milk or what. If I had a younger baby and was FF, I wouldn't settle myself on seats in a shoe shop to make up his bottle and feed him. There's often random seating in the middle of shopping centres, I would've just taken DS there if it was too quick to bother buying a coffee.

M3lon · 17/02/2020 15:24

Am I just a monster that I occasionally gave my DD a pack of raisins if she started to kick off in a shop?

Dandelion1993 · 17/02/2020 15:25

Ynbu in the point of people should feel comfortable feeding anywhere.

YABU in the fact that a 2 year old could have waited until they got home and could have had a cup of water or snack.

oldfashionedtastingtea · 17/02/2020 15:26

I wouldn't feed a toddler in a shop either old. Because of mess. Breastfeeding doesn't count

Seeing as quite a few people disagree with you it seems that for some it does count. And those people might work in a shoe shop. A shoe shop is private property, they can make the rules.

snowone · 17/02/2020 15:26

At the end of the day the OP created an AIBU post - therefore asking people their opinions.

My opinion is my opinion and yours is yours. We do not have to agree but we do not have to argue over it either.

If the OP didn't want people's opinion on the matter then she shouldn't have created a post on a public forum.

OP - you felt that you were doing the right thing by your son, that's all that matters.

Chocpear · 17/02/2020 15:27

As it wasn’t busy and you were a customer, I see no problem.