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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Sat on my own in the work canteen

36 replies

Drowningmysorroes · 17/02/2020 09:28

They are all discussing Caroline flack, calling her mentally unstable and some even laughing about it.

I tried to commit suicide 4 years ago and it’s bringing it all back.

I don’t want to make this tragedy about me. It’s not. I just couldn’t sit there and listen to that.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 17/02/2020 09:31

Flowers people are insensitive cunts. Sorry OP, no advice except you're doing the right thing by distancing yourself Sad

plipplopploddy · 17/02/2020 09:36

Flowers some people are insensitive and some people just don't understand mental health issues. I've seen a lot of comments over the past few days written about mental health and suicide by people who clearly have no idea what it feels like to be suicidal. Do you have someone that you can talk to in RL?

Waitingfordennis · 17/02/2020 09:38

That's so awful Sad. Hugs for you OP Flowers xx

TheMaddHugger · 17/02/2020 09:40

Drowningmysorroes ((((((((soft Hugs)))))))💐🌼💐😥

notaflyingmonkey · 17/02/2020 09:46

It makes me so angry that as a society we can't use these sad events as a wake up call to sort out our collective attitude to mental health.

Sorry, but your colleagues are dicks. You are right to walk away.

EmeraldShamrock · 17/02/2020 09:49

People are wankers. How can anyone have anything for sympathy for her and the 1000's of others who reached a decision to end their life.
You are a survivor OP. I always say it is always the kinder gentlest type of people who finds themself questioning if they're worth it. Flowers
Speak to your manager ask if you can take the rest of the day off. Sad

Ginfordinner · 17/02/2020 09:50

Bloody hell! Who are the 33% who think YABU? Your colleagues? Hmm

EmeraldShamrock · 17/02/2020 09:50

But sympathy.

SalmonOfKnowledge · 17/02/2020 09:50

Wow, must have been tough to listen to it.

I make the mistake of making things about me too, ie, I used to be in an abusive relationship and when I first heard about johnny Depp and Amber heard I thought he was a bad tempered old bastard who resulted in a bit of violence to control her. How wrong I was. (This is just an example really).

I guess everything is slightly different from every other thing. If that makes sense. You're bound to see shades of what you went through in it. Cos we're all human and really the core common experience is that sometimes things are so difficult to get through.

I don't think caroline flack was unstable at all. I think that for the first time perhaps she was forced to confront herself, ie, the beginning of self-awareness. Unable to deflect shame on to her bf, she sat with it. It was unbearable. I wish she'd believed that it would have PASSED.

SalmonOfKnowledge · 17/02/2020 09:51

*resorted to a bit of violence

(I meant)

MzHz · 17/02/2020 10:01

Absolutely @SalmonOfKnowledge
Couldn’t agree more.

MzHz · 17/02/2020 10:04

@Drowningmysorroes can you try to see that you’ve come so far in these 4 years? You’re working, you’re here with us and even better you’re posting here for support!

You are you, you are not her, you’re strong and you have survived, and you will continue to do so.

Keep posting if it helps? You’re not alone.

3rdchristmaslucky · 17/02/2020 10:08

I would absolutely have let them know about my own mental health struggles, about feeling like there was nothing left but to make an attempt on my own life.

Give them a bit of perspective and shut them the fuck up.

However, not everyone is as open as I am.

I'm sorry you had to listen to that :(

Chillyegg · 17/02/2020 10:08

Well done for identifying that it’s not ok and that your not ok love. People are tears sometimes keep posting hear and talk to someone in person xxxx

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 17/02/2020 10:08

Oh yes because mentally unstable people are hilarious. Someone being so desperately unhappy that they killed themselves is just fucking hysterical. Says a lot about their upbringing doesn't it. I say I wouldn't wish mental health problems on anyone but these people, I would. I know you can't understand until you've been through it but even so, laughing at that poor woman is a vile thing to do. Scum. Absolute pond like.

goldenorbspider · 17/02/2020 10:10

People just don't think op.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 17/02/2020 10:14

I would absolutely have let them know about my own mental health struggles, about feeling like there was nothing left but to make an attempt on my own life. Give them a bit of perspective and shut them the fuck up. I really wouldn't do that OP as they sound like the type to laugh at you and say you're an attention seeker or something horrible like that. They don't sound the type to feel guilt.

recklessruby · 17/02/2020 10:25

I would have had to walk away too before i said something awful.
2 close friends of mine committed suicide and I dont find it a laughing matter.
Hope you're ok OP. Sadly some people think celebrities are fair game to poke fun at, almost forgetting there was a real woman struggling who didnt see any way out.
I would probably have told them to grow up. Work equivalent of mean girls at school.

enigmatoto · 17/02/2020 10:29

It is sooo sad that some people don't have any empathy or understanding of mental health issues. This maligning of individuals with MH issues is one of the reasons misunderstood people with MH issues seek 'the other way out' ie. suicide. OP, keep strong!! Don't let your colleagues'
callous comments take you back to that 'dark place'. Sending strength and hugs your way x

AmelieTaylor · 17/02/2020 10:29

Jesus Christ

Without even knowing your history (🌷) what kind of utter arses are they? How can
People behave like that?

I’d have no trouble telling them what I thought of them! Until the thread on here about her suicide I hadn’t even heard of her, I don’t know anything about her (other than what was on her thread the other day) but it’s just incredibly sad that taking her own life seemed like her best/only option 😢. No matter what had happened she had people who loved her & would have helped her through whatever was to come.

I’m sorry you’re working with such utter wankers.

Do whatever you need to do to get through the day & stay safe/strong/well...🌷

Oh & just in case your user name reflects real life...don’t drown your sorrows - find real happiness, it’s not in the bottom of a bottle. 🌷

lightyearsahead · 17/02/2020 10:34

Walk away from them, they are the mean girls as school, the faceless trolls that pick on people, they are the bullies. Look at them they are the part of society that lack empathy. You do not want to be them, you do not want to be like them, celebrate your struggles, your successes and your strength.

Caroline Flack death has moved me and effected me, today I think about those struggling with mental health and I vow to be more understanding and the need to be considerate.

Focus on you, because you are amazing.

Justaboy · 17/02/2020 10:41

some people just don't understand mental health issues.

As it was..

As it is..

And seemingly and sadley as it will always be:(

Ikeatears · 17/02/2020 10:50

I completely understand how you feel. I had a serious breakdown 5 years ago and every sneer or joke about poor mental health strikes like a knife.
I've mainly been pretty well (although never the same) for 5 years but recently having a bit of a struggle.
I'm actually finding that all the outpourings of 'be kind' and social media posts about mental health and supporting people are making it harder for me as I'm constantly brought back to the worst time in my life.
DH and I spent a couple of hours the other night dissecting my one night on a mental health ward. It's making me speak about it all but I'm not sure that's helpful.
Sorry, just realised I derailed a bit there.
I hear you though and I get itThanks

partofthepeanutgallery · 17/02/2020 10:54

I'm so sorry. Flowers

They are beyond awful.