If you can be anything, be kind....

[BeAnythingBeKind]

Its such a simple thing, and can make all the difference.

We are all guilty of it, me included, So instead of making negative comments about the work colleagues, fellow school mum's, stranger on the bus...Say something kind, you never know, it could just make all the difference. No-one really knows what people are going through.

Anyone who wants to vent/talk/cry....Please feel free to let rip here, It's OK not to feel OK

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Agree with you.

Just because they are twats, doesn't mean you have to be one too.

Hear hear!
Sometimes people are twats because they've been treated like twats. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Agreed, and that goes for everyone. Kids in school have it as a value, and often the people who mock being ‘kind’ as superficial in RL, I find, have no genuine concept of what it means. It’s not funny to be kind, it’s not cool, it doesn’t get laughs at someone’s elses expense and it means giving a little part of yourself away IMHO. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and being a little self reflective doing that is much harder than mocking someone and feeling a little better for a second about yourself because at least you arent like ‘that’. But it’s a false economy, that second of feeling slightly superior leaves you feeling worse in the long run, making the effort to be kind eventually rewards you in all sorts of ways.
And you don’t have to go through life like Pollyanna, that’s not realistic, just a little kindness will go a long way.

I have to admit there have been a fair few 'Be kind' posts on my FB over the last day or so. Some from people who are generally anything but and some from people who generally are. I am not sure posting a meme will make one suddenly kind and the other much kinder.
I suppose a 'stop being such a twat on social media' is a bit wordy and judgemental as a meme though

"Be kind" is annoying me atm. It sort of set up to be un- opposable - you can hardly say "well actually no, be unkind" but like PPs I have seen the meme shared but people who are anything but kind and I feel like it is vacuous virtue signalling, like wearing a rainbow lgbt lanyard when you are a total homophobe......

I think it’s important to be kind. I think that the way the media treats women is quite often appalling. However I don’t think that ‘being kind’ means not holding people to account for their actions. I have seen a tweet from Eamon Holmes saying that there must be some repercussions to Love Island now. For what? I would lose my job for doing what she did (even just the bits that have been ‘proved’), as would anyone else who works in education. I can’t imagine how desperate Caroline Flack must have felt in order to take her own life, I really can’t, and I am sad that she made that choice. But I think that ‘Be Fair’ is a much better blanket statement than ‘Be Kind’.

I have name changed. I'm guilty of being 'abrupt' on Mumsnet sometimes and have vowed never to be that person again. I have never been nasty or anything but I am aware that sometimes I could have written it better. So here i am.

I see Phillip Schofield has got a mention on this thread. I was one of not very many who posted on the threads that the speculation etc wasn't nice. People literally tripping over themselves to find a post on Twitter and repost it here as fact, when all it ever was was someone else's opinion.

Nobody knows what went on with PS and I reported at lease one thread because I didn't think they were 'in the spirit' but MNHQ let them stand. The guy was being called all sorts. This so the very behaviour that needs to stop. Lots of posters were really going for PS without a single shred of evidence, everything posted is hearsay and shot brought from trolls on other forums.

Please stop. I don't particularly like PS but it's a perfect, in the moment example of everything that's wrong.

I promise to be more thoughtful with my posts forever. People matter. Even the ones we don't like. Everyone is precious.

Maybe we should just have a meme which says "let's stop being cunts to each other and have a bit of empathy". Bit wordy though

Everything HalfTermHalfTerm said.

"Be kind" is an obvious mode by which to live. But some people are taking this to mean that "anything goes". That's a slippery slope. Not all behaviour is acceptable. I have seen increasingly on MN some thoughtful poster leap in to urge kindness, when it's quite reasonable to point out that someone is being an arse. And mental health conditions are conditions , not excuses to behave in an unacceptable or even illegal manner.

I agree OP, I try to be kind, which for me involves always giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to see their point of view (whilst maintaining my own boundaries). I guess, like a pp said, it's showing empathy.

I've actually found MN really useful for that, as instead of thinking, oh they're just a twat, I now have more of an insight into why people behave in certain ways.

I actually worry about this as a message. Yes, it’s important to be kind, but I think making it the primary quality that people should focus on is a bad message overall, especially for girls. There are plenty of times where it’s important, actually, not to be kind. Where you need to be assertive, or ruthless, or very fucking angry and I don’t like the idea that it’s important to put others first all the time to the detriment of your own self.

By telling young girls that the only thing that’s important and the only thing to be is kind, we are by default doing them a disservice in the equality stakes. Be kind in the face of unwanted male attention. Be grateful in the fact of sexism. Be submissive when treated badly.

It is very important to be kind when it is warranted. But it’s also important to know that there are many times when you shouldn’t be.

I've seen this a lot on Facebook today and most posting it are the most self absorbed individuals who wouldn't listen to anyone struggling for longer than two minutes! Or would just interrupt and make it all about them.
Been able to listen seems to be a dying art these days. Take a step back and just let someone talk. Just listen and let them vent. Let them know your there for them but don't make it all about yourself. Sometimes we can't always help that much , but it is the little things that matter. Mental health isn't easy to try and understand and people sometimes need more or they may need medication or a professional to talk to , but just someone to listen to you is a start.

The 'be kind' message is also a quote of Caroline herself, she I do see why it's getting so much attention on SM. It's almost as if she was begging people to stop

The women I've seen who have updated their profile pictures with the "be kind" logo are amongst the bitchiest I know.

The Instagram mum bloggers are going mad for this.....using it and using Caroline for attention/views/more subscribers.

They put their entire lives and those of their kids out online and someone points out they are not using a safe car seat/their kids bed is unsafe and they then accuse that person of ‘trolling’ and whack out the #be kind

Get your kids and family life offline then! And how is it trolling? The word trolling is overused not everyone will agree with you especially as this content is monetised!

"When they go low, you go high"

What does this even mean? Does it mean if someone goes quiet, you shout over them? Or does it mean is someone is sad, you go over the top?
It just doesnt make sense.

It is hard to be kind every single day as lots of people do not deserve it. The scumbags that conned my elderly parents out of money at the door , the ones that hurt and lie , the ones that trample over others to get on the ones that fiddle their expenses or don't pay their way or hit a car and don't confess leaving others to pick up the bills ? The ones that don't pay for their children and leave their partners destitute? The ones that kill or threaten others ?
It so hard to even think about being kind to a lot of folk but people that deserve my kindness will get it! Not everyone is bad and not everyone is good either ; it's a difficult concept and not as easy as just ' be kind' ! Although I try to be if I can to people I know that are struggling and not like the ones above!

Why are we assuming Caroline took her own life because of the press and social media? Did she leave a note saying this??

          Or

She was terrified of the judicial system with a potential prison sentence. Her solicitor will have advised so she would have some indication of how the prosecution case would go

I hate the fact that a lot of truly nasty people on fb are now going over the top on this, pasting things about suicide, such as "show you care by posting this and typing done"...then if you dont copy and paste it on your timeline and write done, the next thing they put up is nasty comment about everyone. Well that's not being nice, is it!!

@The80sweregreat

Those that kill or threaten others? You wouldn’t be kind to someone who did this? Would you not assume they were mentally unwell?

I have thought a lot about kindness (not just in the last day or two), particularly wondering if it is an inbuilt trait. Back at school, even primary school, there were girls (it was girls) who seemed to have a default "unkind" position - they would be mean, make unkind comments, sneer, make people feel bad etc etc.

It always caught me off guard, because I would never want to hurt someone's feelings. That would leave me feeling absolutely horrible. Yet clearly it not only doesn't bother some people, it makes them feel good or clever .

That being said, you can't demand that people "be kind". Should we be kind to Jeffrey Epstein? Prince Andrew? Katie Hopkins? Or should we only be kind to people who have been approved ?

I'm not a very fluffy, nice person.

I'll take the last slice of cake. I am quite tough and resilient and internally eye-roll at people being wet. I exercise my judgement when it comes to people's personalities.

What I do have is integrity, morality, and a strong track record of doing what's right. I have seen 'kind' people wreak absolute havoc with other people's emotions for all sorts of reasons.

The racist I fired? She had a track record, but some kind person wouldn't fire her (incidentally, they made no efforts to exercise kindness to her victim). The man who left our company for a new role because he was frustrated here? Some kind person strung him along and wouldn't make him redundant even when there was no work for him. The office bully? Someone chose to be kind to him due to his stress and not deal with the issue. Never mind the rest of us.

I've seen more unhappiness due to misplaced kindness than to malicious acts - which are actually very rare.

I'm happy being who I am.

I slightly struggle with this. Obviously it’s good to be kind and I Hope is our family’s default setting but currently dealing with a situation where a friend of my 10 year old is having some mental health issues and school and the child’s family are relying heavily on dd and another child. They are told told to “be kind” but dealing with panic attacks tears and drama 2 /3 times a day for months is detrimental to their own education as they missing lessons not to mention their own happiness and own mental health. Just how far is this kindness intended to go?

"The 'be kind' message is also a quote of Caroline herself, she I do see why it's getting so much attention on SM. It's almost as if she was begging people to stop"
This is the thing about social media though. These sort of celebrities live by social media, that's how they become well known in the first place, they use it as a tool. Bet she wasnt thinking of all the normal looking girls out there following her on sm, trying to look like her. Unfortunately social media goes with the nasty side too. You are always going to get nasty comments on there, for whatever reason, mental health etc.. this is the industry celebrities work in.

It's a nice sound bite but what does it mean? Should judges be kind to rapists, should children be kind to their bullies? Where's the line?