If you can be anything, be kind....

[BeAnythingBeKind]

Its such a simple thing, and can make all the difference.

We are all guilty of it, me included, So instead of making negative comments about the work colleagues, fellow school mum's, stranger on the bus...Say something kind, you never know, it could just make all the difference. No-one really knows what people are going through.

Anyone who wants to vent/talk/cry....Please feel free to let rip here, It's OK not to feel OK

We can all try, even small things make a huge difference. I moved to a village in Southern England where people wouldn't even look at each other never mind speak, being a Scot i found that all very strange as we talk to everybody.
I would meet the same dog walkers as i walked to work earky every morning, so i started saying Goodmorning, at first they looked at me like i was some kind of weirdo but by the end of the week they started replying. I did the same in the local shops and slowly but surely you could see the change
After a few months you would even see people standing chatting in the street, a walking for health group started and a very small commmunity garden appeared and planters were placed around the village and people "adopted" a planter and filled it with flowers. Our village became a brighter and friendler place to live.
It is amazing what a Goodmorning and a smile can do, try it

I haven’t read all the thread . But the most unkind people I have met lack the insight to realise or they just don’t care. And there’s the issue sadly although it’s a statement I regularly say to my kids and I do agree.

@sevencontinents Yes, you're right.

@Kirkman ah I see what you are saying now. No, the behaviour you have seen isn't kind to DV victims.

I find it incredibly irritating and have seen it posted by people who are anything but kind. People post it to make themselves look good and somebody saying something kind they don’t mean will have diddly squat impact on somebody who is rock bottom.

I'm not on social media (other than MN) but I do try to follow this rule in real life. I don't always succeed, but it's a good thing to pause before you make a comment and consider whether it's a kind thing to say or whether it's just gossip or criticism for the sake of it.

@C0tt0nReelz That's true, but avoiding saying something which is negative or cruel may prevent them from going over the edge.

Sometimes it's being kind to NOT say something. You could be thinking "X is a total dickhead and looks shit" but maybe not typing it out somewhere means it won't be seen by X. That has to be better, surely?

It’s interesting but I too am seeing thus post from narcissistic posters and a bully. It’s too glib to use online, means nothing and is I suspect a message saying be kind to me,me,me, I’m so great and wonderful.

Frankly makes me want to throw up.

I don’t need to be lectured to in such a trite meaningless way by people who have never showed kindness to me.

I try to be kind daily, sometimes I combust. I’m human.

The people who are so "devastated" about Caroline Flack are the same people who paid for and read every word the gutter press and the gossip mags printed. I don't really know who she was because I don't buy or read that tripe. It is very sad that she took her life, but all this "be kind" from people who love all that s'leb bollocks is toyal hypocrisy.

Total, obviously.

Maybe courtesy is a more precise term. If we are more courteous of each other. If we use respectful language, are considerate of peoples privacy and right to their own opinion and beliefs. It's a fact that we are not going to get on with every person we meet in life ut if we meet a tricky one, we can deal with them firmly, letting our feelings be know but without creating a nasty hurtful outcome in the outcome.
Even please and thank you makes a difference to everyday life. Saying hello to someone, acknowledging a person is an act of kindness. If we are just a little it gentler with each other it makes a difference everyday but we have to keep it in mind and make it a habit not just a reaction to sad events. Sadly, this time next week, no one will remeber

@lolaflores bang on 👍

I agree with @absolutepowercorrupts. My experience of social media tells me that all the people who are absolute shits day in, day out will be posting all this be kind stuff while still being horrible to others. I may be giving FB a miss for a week or two

Also agree that there is already enough stuff to silence women. I can imagine it already, women putting up with shit from partners and when they challenge it, being told "be kind"

They’re the same people now ripping Philip Schofield to shred with a similar amount of evidence. The hypocrisy in this kindness thing is ludicrous.

Also when did people get so self confident they feel able to go round lecturing others.

My mantra for anything on the internet is if you wouldn't say it face to face in the exact same way then do not write it down and say it. I try and be as kind as I can. Sometimes I slip up, we are all human and imperfect, but words can really hurt.

I'm not in favour of unkindness, but "Be kind" would be a very effective silencing tool, wouldn't it? For women especially, because we are brought up to be thoughtful and mindful of other people's feelings. Sometimes speaking out about things which are genuinely unjust or wrong is not kind, but it is necessary.

This resonated with me.

Yes I would never combust online but online isn’t RL which is what really counts. Trotting out a trendy line online to make yourself look good is a world away from actually being kind in RL which is harder and more important.

@C0tt0nReelz You are so right about the Phillip Schofield threads. I was on one of them and feel shit about making negative comments about him now. Sure, he probably won't read it and won't care, but I still feel bad.

I agree to some extent that kindness is an inbuilt quality. You're either a compassionate person or you're not. But I also think that sometimes 'good' people will say and do cruel things. It's so easy these days to pass a comment or an opinion online without really thinking about the consequences- it just feels like words thrown out into the ether. You don't always realise that somewhere someone is reading and is hurting over the things you've said. Same with gossiping - it's so easy to get embroiled into a gossipy mean conversation. I consider myself a good person who practices kindness and patience with people but I've still been known to have a bitch about friends or colleagues.

It's things like that that I want to step away from now. And know that I haven't contributed to meanness or hurt. I always tell my dc that kindness is the most important thing you can be and thankfully they are friendly and compassionate kids.

And saying good morning whilst dog walking isn’t kind it’s polite.

Being kind involves so much more with often the most vulnerable members of society and isn’t on the provisio you get something back or to make you look good.

Eg that mum nobody talks to at toddler group with the child nobody wants to play with- being kind is drawing her in and not leaving her out, letting her know she’s included.

Trotting out a line online is meaningless.

Think before you speak is better.

"Be kind" is used to shame women and children into not standing up for themselves or other women and children, ignoring their own discomfort or upset to pacify bullies.

It's come to mean women have a choice between being sycophants or being silent and moving along.

The kindest people I know are too busy being kind in RL to post meaningless phrases online.

And yes I agree when it's interpreted more superficially it just means be polite.

People should always be polite. They should not be told not to speak except to give compliments.

I don’t think the sort of people who have to be told or reminded via SM to be kind, are going to keep it up for very long.
If that makes me a cynic, so be it.