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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

583 replies

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 16/02/2020 18:22

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

OP posts:
Lellochip · 16/02/2020 21:55

Another twin here - are you identical? is always the first question.

Absolutepowercorrupts · 16/02/2020 21:55

symphony I'm not 100% sure that my long lost friend is Welsh either. She lived there.

Lellochip · 16/02/2020 21:57

Posted too soon.

Are you identical? is an understandable enough question when they're just asking me, but we've been asked when we were stood next to each other looking nothing alike 😄

Buggeritimgettingup · 16/02/2020 21:57

Is your tele broke or have you found out what causes it yet!?

We have six children

AcrossthePond55 · 16/02/2020 22:01

I'm adopted and if the subject of my adoption comes up someone will invariably ask "But don't you want to meet your 'real' parents?".

1-My 'real' parents are the ones who loved me unconditionally and raised me with love and patience.

2-No, I bloody don't. I feel no 'lack' of identity or family in my life. I have no 'empty' places. All of which have been said when I've said no.

So if by some chance you are someone who might ask that question, please don't. IMHO, it's rude.

TatianaLarina · 16/02/2020 22:06

Are you Swedish? (No just Nordic looking)

Is that your niece? 2 blonde parents - 3 kids - 2 blondes, 1 almost black hair. I think they’re really wondering if I had an affair.

PonderTweek · 16/02/2020 22:09

I'm quite tattooed. "Didn't you have any paper to draw on?" The person saying it always thinks they're hilarious. Grin

Whatisthisfuckery · 16/02/2020 22:09

‘You’re blind? How many fingers am I holding up?’ How should I know, I’m fucking blind you moron.

‘You managed to tie your laces/find the right change/put your pin into the machine/insert any random task alright, are you sure you’re blind?’ Yes, I’m quite sure, thank you, prick.

‘Why don’t you get glasses?’ Wow, amazing, I’d never thought of that. You’ve solved all my fucking problems you fucking genius.

‘How did you know how to get to (wherever I happen to be)?’ I don’t know, magic?

I even got asked by a nurse in the eye hospital of all places how I manage to walk. Er, with my legs... My life is an unending stream of stupid questions.

SanFrancisco49er · 16/02/2020 22:10

I worked in retail for years. Almost every day, in the last hour, someone would come in and ask, 'Are you still open?'
No, we're closed, I just really enjoy standing here with the door open, lights on, listening to the inane music.
And then, when we WERE shut, grates down over the windows, door locked, someone would inevitably rattle and pull ay the door, miming wildy, 'Are you open?'
Yes, we just like to make it really hard for customers to get in and spend money 🙄

NellyTimes · 16/02/2020 22:14

I've worked in several dental practices and I dread having to book an appointment for 2.30.

"Oh.. tooth hurty..HAHAHAHA"

Yeah, well done mate for being the 24853rd person to say that to me.

MrsKoala · 16/02/2020 22:14

Doesn't happen as often now but for about 10 years upon being introduced to people or someone seeing my name I'd get 'where's Rodney?' Then absolutely cracking up with laughter. Every now and then someone would say 'Alright Dave' to my exH when we'd arrive (which I didn't mind so much).

I have been asked why i'm so tall and if i'm Dutch a fair few times too.

I knew an Alice who every time she introduced herself would have someone shout back 'Alice Alice who the fuck is Alice!'

MovingBriskyOn · 16/02/2020 22:15

My name is one that could be a shortened version of a longer name.

So I get "is your name moving or movingbriskyon?"

When I tell them it's moving, they ask me if that's what I was christened. Then they call me movingbriskyon.
I find this irritating

Whatisthisfuckery · 16/02/2020 22:15

‘I look like Brad Pit, do you want to go out with me?’ No, fuck off.

susandelgado · 16/02/2020 22:16

@cheeseislife8 The exhaust one actually made me spit my tea out! 😂

teaandcake246 · 16/02/2020 22:17

@aLilNonnyMouse and @Nat6999 I TOTALLY sympathise. I have a very disabling illness that causes me to be mainly housebound. I can’t believe the number of people who, as if they’re coming up with a really novel idea, have said to me: “Have you thought of getting out and about more? I think it would really do you good.” There’s obviously a reason why I’m not getting out and about more - is it really likely that it hasn’t occurred to me????

Fruitsaladjelly · 16/02/2020 22:22

Delivering flowers- “are they for me?” From pretty much every dickhead bloke you pass whilst out

Thegingerpig · 16/02/2020 22:22

I’ve got 2 sons born 21 months apart, both blonde, both the same height and look very similar because they are brothers. Obviously we get asked all the time by strangers if they are twins, I don’t mind but find it odd that teachers from their school that already know are in separate year groups ask this as well!

RandomUsernameHere · 16/02/2020 22:24

"Do people ever tell you she looks like you?" about DD and me. All the time. I don't know why people are so surprised that a mother and daughter look alike!

thehorseandhisboy · 16/02/2020 22:25

Whatisthisfuckery those questions must be a complete PITA, but they made me laugh out loud.

I'm a twin. Hot on the heels of 'are you identical?' comes 'are you telepathic?'

Possibly, I sort of knew that you were going to say that...

PhoneTwattery · 16/02/2020 22:27

I knew an Alice who every time she introduced herself would have someone shout back 'Alice Alice who the fuck is Alice!'

🤣🤣

TaighNamGastaOrt · 16/02/2020 22:31

Yup, another twin here. I get the are you identical a lot.
Yes Janet. we are. thats why you thought I was her.

I also get 'oh you must be best friends'. No Janet, she's a bullying narcissistic cunt.
Silence. then 'Oh, well........I don't want to get involved in that'
Neither do I Janet. So, why ask?

FML

Also, last year at 40, I stopped dying my hair after 25 years and went grey. I now have a white mallen streak and grey/brown hair.
The comments I get! Have I tippexed it? I did actually get asked that! Have I been decorating and got paint in my hair?
could I not afford to have it dyed?

NO! MY HAIR IS WHITE AND I LIKE IT!

Brigante9 · 16/02/2020 22:32

Used to screen men for abdominal aortic aneurysms using an ultrasound.

I thought that was quite recent? My dad died of this last year.

"Is your hair naturally that colour?"
Followed by (when I answer yes):
"It's beautiful, you can't get that from a bottle at the hairdressers"

All the time, it’s really annoying.

I get the accent thing all the time, I’m reasonably RP and people refuse to believe I’m from Newcastle. Then they always ask if I support the football team and look gobsmacked when I say no. I’m not into football, why would I support it?

jenthelibrarian · 16/02/2020 22:37

Do you like reading?

I read this book once, it was about this man who lived in this house...it was blue with a picture of a tree on the cover, do you know the one I mean?

Most of my career has been in special/academic libraries where I had no interest in reading any of the books.

Graphista · 16/02/2020 22:42

Not really light hearted I’m afraid.

On my mental illness and physical disability:

As pp everyone’s a fucking expert!

“Have you tried...

Just not thinking about it” yes as if it’s that simple!

They name numerous antidepressants that “worked wonders for my cousins stepsons dog” etc

“...therapy” no! It’s been over 10 years and that NEVER occurred to either me or the MANY hcps I’ve seen 🙄

“...Physio” as above

“...just powering through” yea cos I’d really love to risk losing the limited mobility I DO have still.

I also get a lot of

“You can come and clean my place” er no actually I struggle enough dealing with my own dirt let alone some strangers!

“Bet your place is spotless” I wish! If it were it would actually be an indication I was very unwell indeed!

I’m vegetarian, exs friends were mostly army “laddish” types. Very boring and pretty offensive being repeatedly asked, usually in a restaurant! Whether that meant I didn’t perform oral sex!

Also on the vegetarianism -

“Are you allowed that?” I’m allowed whatever I like. I CHOOSE not to eat meat or meat by-products. And as I’ve been one over 30 years I’m pretty good on what’s veggie and what isn’t by now! (Except when companies change ingredients without notifying customers which is annoying!)

My family of origin are all olive skinned and dark haired. I’m red head and very fair skinned. Very hurtful when growing up to frequently have people make “jokes” about whether I was adopted or the milkman’s! Both grans same colouring so we think it’s from there I get my colouring. In other ways I very much DO look like my parents and siblings.

I also have a birthmark on my face. Doesn’t cause me any issues but can’t be removed due to location. I absolutely don’t mind young children asking questions and being curious but older children and adults have been incredibly rude about it. Plus mum had to deal with accusations

“What happened to her”

“Did that hurt”

“You’d look so pretty except for that”

I’m a Scot but lived all over as dad was in army so my accent is a bit “odd” I’m now living in Scotland again though and am frequently asked where I’m from. When I say glasgow...

“But you don’t have a Scottish accent!”

I actually do a bit it’s just mixed in with other accents too.

On only having one child

“Isn’t she lonely?” No she prefers her own company

“Bit selfish only having one” wasn’t the plan! I’d 2 mc before her, a traumatic birth/emcs and we both nearly died. I’d have loved more but the thing that nearly killed me can and usually does hit again with subsequent pregnancies early on in pregnancy and could kill me leaving dd motherless. Not an option I was willing to risk.

“You could have adopted/used sperm donor” well being a single mum which I became when dd was still pretty young is hard enough anyway without adding the challenges of adopting. I didn’t think it would be fair on the potential adoptee either. And sperm donor wouldn’t have worked as I didn’t want to risk the aforementioned issue.

Also been asked loads where I get my hair dyed when it’s the natural colour because it’s not all one colour. Admittedly it’s now got grey/white streaks but it’s a weird mish mash of red/auburn/blonde/grey now but when it IS dyed (I generally used to dye it a very boring chestnut as that worked best) people thought it was my natural colour! I’ve even had hairdressers disbelieve that the “multicolured” version is natural.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 16/02/2020 22:51

We have a pure white cat. Every single person who meets her or sees a photo of her asks if she is deaf. Some people actually insist she must be. She can hear the opening of a Felix packet from three gardens away. (I tend to say that I wish she was on bonfire night.)