Discussing suicide

[ICriedARiverOverYou]

Not AIBU, just not sure where to put this. As it appears to be so topical this weekend, can I ask that you think about language when discussing suicide.

Committed suggests crime and completed suggests success. Please don't use 'killed themselves'.

As someone who has been bereaved by suicide, the preferred term is 'died by suicide'.

tel:116-123 (Samaritans) for anyone who is struggling.

What is inappropriate about 'killed themselves'?

I don't like the term "died by suicide" and I've lost family and friends this way. I agree with the "committed" part, that comes from when it was criminal. But I feel like "died by suicide" is poncing about with words just to be politically correct and not offend when we would previously have stated the fact, that they killed themselves.

Sorry for your loss OP and thank you for the reminder. I understand why it’s not good to say ‘committed’ but do you mind if I ask why ‘killed themselves’ should be avoided? Sorry if it should be obvious, I googled but couldn’t find an explanation (though I did find this article which was clear and helpful www.irmi.com/articles/expert-commentary/language-matters-committed-suicide)

"Took his or her own life" is a more sensitive term, no?

Ended their life?

That's what I use because it used to upset me thinking the person I loved "killed" themselves but I suppose that's exactly what they did.

I don't like committed because that was used when it was criminal, but I also think "died by suicide" is a bit awkward.

Just sad all around isn't it?

I think the last bracket might have ruined my link in case anyone tried to read it www.irmi.com/articles/expert-commentary/language-matters-committed-suicide

I have been informed that 'completed suicide' is the pc term. I really dont like this though.

Sorry for your loss but you are being unfair to tell other people which language or terms they should use to discuss this .
I lost a close friend and a family friend to suicide and I will choose whichever words I feel appropriate

I don’t think it’s up to you to say what people should be saying. There have been multiple suicides and attempted suicides amongst my family and friends and I don’t prefer the term “died by suicide”.

I don’t think it’s what matters anyway. It just matters that people discuss is full stop. But not the terminology

The problem is that everyone who’s been affected with have different preferred terms, so YABU to say your preferred term is the only acceptable one.

Sorry for your loss, and for everyone else affected by this issue

Genuine question. If a person tries to kill themselves but fails is it called attempted self murder? Obviously I would never call it that but I overheard a conversation a few months ago and curious to know if it was just those two people who would call a suicide attempt that or if others would use that phrase? I personally would say person X has sadly ended their lives.

Good advice about the word ‘committed’ in this context - I hadn’t noticed the connotation before. I’m not sure why ‘to kill himself/herself’ is unacceptable though.

I don't like completed. Makes it sound like a game or something like your mental health struggles are somehow unfinished until you actually manage to kill yourself. As for committed and killing yourself, they're fine. It isnt a crime but he word committed lends appropriate gravity to the situation and killed yourself is simply factual. Both are fine. Taking your life romanticizes it a bit imo.

I think the word suicide isn't ideal tbh, as it's a hang over from when it was a crime (same as homicide, regicide etc). College of Policing recommends "took his/her life".

This is a tricky issue, I work as a mental health nurse so I have to talk about suicide more than most people.

I agree "committed" isn't good, but lots of people prefer plain language. I would say my go to is "ended their life". But generally, it's best to ask people what works they prefer.

*what words they prefer.

abeautifulmess it would be extremely rare (and inappropriate) to use that term. God knows what they were thinking.

I work in the funeral industry, I say ‘ended their own life’ or ‘took their own life’

But I often hear ‘committed suicide’

As someone who has been bereaved by suicide, the preferred term is 'died by suicide'.

That’s the preferred term for you. You don’t get to dictate that for anyone else though.

I agree @RositaEspinosa, I also have a lot of discussions with people regarding suicide in my job. Everyone uses whatever terminology they feel mist comfortable with. I believe whoever is the one who has been bereaved/ or has the experience with suicide gets to decide which words to use. Others involved in the discussion should follow suit.

What is wrong with the term 'killed themselves?' As for the term 'commit suicide' I understand why that could be frowned upon, but really it's just words and nobody means offence when saying them so let's not make them feel bad for it ay?

It's what you prefer, it's not what I prefer.

I say my brother killed himself. Or he took his life. Those are the words I prefer to use.

I won't dictate to others how to phrase something horrific that has affected their life.

I don't like the phrase "committed suicide". Sounds very outdated and spiteful.

I'd say took or chose to end their life.

As someone who has attempted suicide several times, I would prefer ‘took their own life’ or ‘ended their own life’, because I tried to end my life. If we have to say died by suicide, what did I do - try to die by suicide? You might have preferred language but it doesn’t have to be my preferred language