DH grunting with dressing gown of doom

[Littlemissdaredevil]

DH has a ‘bad’ shoulder. The non-stop grunting every time he moves is driving me mad. Even picking up the remote control deserves a little grunt. He’s also wearing the dressing gown of doom. In the meantime he is doing zero in the house due to his injury. I’m heavily pregnant and working FT.
For reference he hasn’t been off work, won’t see the GP, won’t got to the shop 1 minute walk away to get some ibuprofen, and was able to play football a couple of days ago. I wish he would just go and lie in bed then at least I wouldn’t have to put up with the grunting and shuffling.

Ah I’ve found my people, apparently I’m the most unsympathetic, mean person ever. It’s as if I want DH to be ill as I do nothing to help him or look after him. Of course I don’t.

DS2 caught S&D which I dealt with all night, DH drives for a living and so can’t be tired (fair enough) so I just automatically do it. The next morning DH declares that he’s all set to do his online training for the day AT HOME, ON HIS LAPTOP. Whilst I organised emergency childcare, took DS1 to breakfast club and then went to work myself.

I caught the bug, obviously. Spent 2 days out of circulation and DH constantly asking questions and declaring how difficult his life was - bearing in mind the children were both at school so he didn’t have full days to do by himself. On the third day I forced myself back to work - DH was wearing the jogging bottoms and his glasses when I got home which is never a good sign. The dramatic sniffing and coughing started.

He was off work for the next 2 days, sick. Then the weekend came and he was so much worse - the constant sighing, the constant updates on his health “oh my head” “my legs ache” “I’ve never been this ill” yeah course not, not since last time. All whilst declaring that tablets just don’t work because they make him sweat. I wanted to hurt him. Then on Sunday night he had the nerve to tell me I never ask how he is! I gently explained that I didn’t need to ask how he was because he constantly updated me, unless there was some weird new symptom then I was up to speed with everything including how many toilet trips he’d made and his temperature at any given hour.

Just to prove a point he took a third day off work, so that’s day 5 of drifting around the house declaring that he’s never been this ill. I took the DCs out for the day, when I came back he’d had a lovely afternoon of Xbox and crisps. Thankfully he’s back at work today.

The worst time was when I had a cold and DS had a sickness bug, DH couldn’t decide which one he had, he’d started the day with my cold but then DS was sent home from school sick - I could almost see the cogs going round in his head trying to figure out which ailment had the most distance. All whilst wearing the joggers and the glasses, he won’t wear a dressing gown because it makes him too hot. Even when he’s shivering cold.

I don’t remember when he got this bad!

I have zero sympathy for people like this of both sexes.

If they won’t seek medical help, fuck off with the whinging!

Love your thread title. There is a new verb in our house: 'grumpying'. My DH is very good at it.......

@Iamthewombat, he learned very early on that marrying a nurse does not get brow mopped
To be fair, I was brought up by a a woman who had the attitude that you went to school no matter what, if you were sick enough, they would send you home.
In my family, if you are sick, you isolate yourself until you are better.
In his, DM bent over backwards to look after you.
A big culture shock for him.
My method of caring is what our DV have been brought up with.
No blood no tears. 😎

I could almost see the cogs going round in his head trying to figure out which ailment had the most distance.

I can relate.

My husband is convinced that men get viruses worse than women. Worse symptoms, longer recovery time, worse consequences (because men are busier and more important, see).

That is why I am unconvinced by that Lemsip (?) advert aimed at men, showing an ambitious young executive getting back to work in double quick time and avoiding the censure of his backstabbing colleagues, who are impressed by his swift recovery.

Listen, Reckitt and Benckiser (Lemsip manufacturers), I am a shareholder and I have news for you. Change the focus of your adverts to ‘take this and you can flop around the house for days, sighing and making your wife’s life unbearable whilst acting like a martyr”. Guaranteed sales spike.

Just waiting to hear the outpouring when he realises his football kit hasn't been washed.

So it is half-term (DH is a teacher), we have 3 DC (0-5), Tuesday morning and DH says 'I think I might be coming down with the flu or something'.

Me 'You are still in bed- you'll feel better when you are up, showered and dressed'.

DH 'I've got a headache and my face feels stuffed up'.

Me 'Take some paracetamol. We'll go for a nice long walk at Druridge Bay and the wind'll blow it all away'.

DH 'OK but I don't know how far I'll manage'

He is currently shuffling round upstairs whilst 3DC and I are ready to go. I have heard him sighing. Grr!

Thing is, once he is out he'll be fine. He'll really enjoy it and forget about his 'flu or something'. I am waiting for the 'D'you think it could be this coronavirus thing?' question.

Oh dear. Luckily my DP is a Trojan although he sometimes does a little creaky walk clutching his back...I think it's a joke though.
Basically your husband was spoiled as a child. usual thing

Although we have life insurance, this thread has reminded me that we have got our wills sorted. I think I best bring this up with DH and see how he reacts.

DH has abandoned the DGOG and the joggers of death and gone to work.

My least favourite illness accessories are the Snotrags Of Despair. A fucking actual mountain of tissues, some damp and some crispy. The sufferer invariably lacks the strength to pick the bloody things up and throw them in the bin. The most they can do with their trembling hands is to stuff a few of them into the bulging, unsanitary pockets of the DGOD.

I like to remind the “ill” DH that if I’d done it when I first thought of it, I’d be out by now.

Development here: I now have a chest infection. If I get home from work to find DH still in the DGOD I'm going to burn it.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/inews.co.uk/culture/music/walking-pneumonia-what-symptoms-signs-elton-john-infection-new-zealand-tour-show-1747519%3famp

Now THIS is what they should be aspiring to. Elton John has set the gold standard by being led off stage in tears to a standing ovation because he has ‘walking pneumonia’ which is, as far as I can make out, ‘a bad cold’.

Elton will have a more flamboyant dressing gown of course. Is David Furnish on this thread yet?

With him still in it?

He later tweeted, “I played and sang my heart out until I could sing no more”

I do have to say though that once DH had a cold and I ignored it and told him to get on with it. He did and went to work etc. After about a week he was still off so went to the doctor.

It was swine flu

DH has had very little sympathy in the last decade since his bout of hayfever that had him bedridden for 3 days while I was in the throes of all-day-mega-pregnancy-nausea. Oh how I longed to vomit for relief, but all I got was dry retching at offensive smells like the rubbish dump on the way to work, and rapeseed fields. I hadn't eaten properly in a month because I was repelled by food and too nauseas to eat. While he was moping in bed, I ended up fainting in front of my y7s. That week I lost a f/t ongoing casual supply placement because my reliability was too compromised.
By the time the nausea finally fucked off, it was swiftly replaced by SPD and months of a pelvis that felt on fire, then carpal tunnel, then a heavy recovery birth. In total nearly a year was spent in extreme discomfort or pain so I have very little sympathy for man-flu.

Mind you the stoic types aren't much better. DF had a history of cardiac disease and symptoms were escalating. He finally deigned to go to the GP after much pressure from DM, then downplayed the symptoms to the GP so no action occured*. That night he was in the morgue. There's a strong chance that seeking medical advice sooner and being honest could have resulted in life saving intervention.
*as we found out at the inquest

I currently have the flu, glandular fever and a throat infection. High does antibiotics and extremely strong pain meds as the flu and fever have kicked off my other health conditions and put my back in spasm.
I didn't have to do much yest, other half was great. Today he has woken with a cold and is currently fast asleep on the sofa as he "didnt sleep well". Funny that I didnt see him awake during the multiple times I woke in the night!
Men eh!

I can be quite pathetic when ill but I don't have a DGOD and I take meds to help me feel better. Dp is lovely and makes sure I have stuff I need, offers to go to the shop, etc. I do the same for him. He's had actual, proper illnesses over the last year as well.

I don't think I could live with one of these men.

Does he also lean on furniture / worktops in order to make his way around the house...? DH always does this if he has man-flu a cold, slightly hunched as though all movement is really beyond him - with grunts and sighs as he goes. DD(11) and I find it hilarious, and she can mimic him perfectly.....

@Littlemissdaredevil you are a saint! My previous BF severely hurt his neck once and after moping around for days days whinging about how much it hurt etc. I told him in no uncertain terms that if he wouldn't get his sh*t together and go an see an Osteopath then I didn't want to hear another word of complaint about it. He got an appointment the next day...

Mr RedRocket and I periodically refer to the need to MTFU... (Man The F**k Up) after a Doctor he was working with gave that as their medical opinion to a client.

@ShinyGiratina Poor you! I hate the smell of Oil Seed Rape fields! I grew up in the fens and it was / is the WORST trigger for my hayfever my chest feels tight just thinking about it. So sorry about your DF.

Ewwwww! Those soggy and crispy snotrags of despair🤢🤮 Especially the ones you find tucked in the DGOD pockets when you have finally been able to pry it off of DHs infirmed body so you can do a boil wash

Thank god I’ve found you - my tribe! I’ve read the whole thread through, laughed, cried, nodded, shouted YES, ......

My h (63) often wears the DGOD, and does the Slipper shuffle, together with copious and loud grunting, “ooofffing”, snuffling, sneezing, coughing and nose blowing, and (most revoltingly) the vomiting through a megaphone). He also has the PJ’s of pain which he wears under the DGOD when he’s seriously ill with a bit of a cold.

Since retiring, he’s become a frequent flyer at our GP surgery, with minor ailments, a bit of bruising on his ankle, a bit of a cough.
I mostly ignore him and remember the boy who cried wolf.

He hasn’t taken up the paper soggy and crispy snotrags of despair, a
prefering M&S linen hankies - which I have refused to launder and he has to place in a plastic bag in his room (separate bedrooms for obvious reasons!) until he has enough to put into the washing machine himself on a boil wash. Apparently his mother had a big saucepan which she used to boil the snotty hankies - he was surprised when I didn’t do the same.

Basically he’s revolting, and a patio rebuild is imminent.

Thank you, thank you, I’m s9 glad I’m not alone

Ahh poor you OP. DP has a cold I had stern words with him yesterday due to his mega-decibel sneezes. Get to fuck. He has a cold, I know he has a cold, I don't need a foghorn to draw my attention to it. He's so lovely in other ways I just think mostly all men are reduced to attention/pampering seeking wimps in the face of the slightest sniffle/pain. They have no awareness as to how unattractive it is.

Is he over 65? He's wearing a dressing gown? He sounds like a sexy little monkey 😣