DH grunting with dressing gown of doom

[Littlemissdaredevil]

DH has a ‘bad’ shoulder. The non-stop grunting every time he moves is driving me mad. Even picking up the remote control deserves a little grunt. He’s also wearing the dressing gown of doom. In the meantime he is doing zero in the house due to his injury. I’m heavily pregnant and working FT.
For reference he hasn’t been off work, won’t see the GP, won’t got to the shop 1 minute walk away to get some ibuprofen, and was able to play football a couple of days ago. I wish he would just go and lie in bed then at least I wouldn’t have to put up with the grunting and shuffling.

He managed to use the washing machine himself!

When I had Dd we didn’t make it to the hospital until I was 9cms dilated as ExP refused to get out of bed- he’d had a terrible nights sleep with me tossing and turning dontcha know. He chuffed away on the Entonox until the midwife caught him and gave him a bollocking and then told anyone who’d listen for months afterwards about how seeing the baby’s head come out had “made his balls hurt” and apparently this pain was comparable to mine- I shit you not .
Just one of several thousand reasons why he’s now the ex

So, as predicted, nce DH was out of the house yesterday he enjoyed the day and forgot totally about his 'coming down with flu'. It was freezing and any germs must have been killed off. Not mentioned since

@Thuglife, mine (fortunately) isn’t the father of my adult ds’s, but he has tried to tell me that seeing his dd born, and then having a vasectomy were more traumatic than my 3 vaginal births. Yeah right. He is well on his way to being an ex.

@ Littlemissdaredevil he. managed to work the washing machine? Did you leave written instructions? I’m impressed.

I suspect in my teens I wore the Hoody of Hypochondria. I grew out of it sharpish at uni when there was no audience / tolerance among flat mates for such arsing about.

I'd like to thank this thread for many phrases but especially MTFU. I can see I'll be using that a lot.

I think my dad is another breed. He neglected to mention to the doctor the vast amounts of blood he was losing as "not really relevant"
Doctor did blood tests as he felt "a bit more tired"
Dad is at work running the pub, doctor rings and says he is sending an ambulance and dad isn't to move or stand up until they arrive
Dad "well I'm on the bar, can it wait until afternoon close?"
He had two blood transfusions a telling off and treatment for the polyps causing the blood loss
Last time he said he was a wee bit itchy after a naproxen (he said the palms of his hands were itching and I told him to ring the doctor, now) and he had an anaphylactic reaction to it. Dad "perhaps I won't take that again, bit inconvenient"

@PineappleCocktail, hmm I dont want the dressing gown of doom but I would not mind the contents of it ( posted on page 4) providing it comes in size medium & healthy version .

goes off to read the rest of the thread

@PigletJohn , there are not many that can carry off the smoking jacket but some can .

www.telegraph.co.uk/luxury/mens-style/hugh-hefner-king-dressing-gown-style/ ,

So here is one for you
www.frockery.co.uk/gentleman-s-vintage-chinese-red-brocade-smoking-robe.html .

thanks, but I'd prefer one with frogs.

And my black silk pyjamas with the embroidered dragons

and monogrammed slippers of infirmity

and tasselled hat of comfort

@DressingGownofDoom
You are so lucky! Good thinking!

OP, that is exciting news that DH knows how use the washing machine...I suppose that means he will be washing his own DGOD, football kit and also the whole family's clothes from now on...yay, one less thing for you to do when the new LO comes

@ClientQueen
Your dad sounds fab. I suspect my late Grandfather was built of similar stuff. He was extremely ill with pancreatitis once In his late eighties but thankfully pulled through and was discharged from hospital. I phoned him to have a chat and check up on him- my Grandma said she’d have to shout him from the garden- he was building a bloody pergola as he was “fed up of sitting around idle”..

love this thread mine also has DGOD but his is navy and hooded does the slipper shuffling, the groaning and super loud coughing and sniffing and vomiting and "I've never been this ill"

Last year we all had the same awful flu including 3 children - it was horrendous - think burning up with shivers, sinuses, whole body ache, sickness and diarrhoea the works... I was the last to get it and it was awful BUT I still continued to look after the kids (one was a baby) make basic meals and keep the house in a decent state and struggle on quietly - including laying on the downstairs bathroom floor being sick as quietly as possible so I didn't disturb everyone else asleep upstairs.... whereas he'd noisily stagger to the upstairs loo bumping into things and then throw up through a mega phone waking up the kids! Grrrr! His mum def babied him when ill and his sister...still does now even tho they are both in their 30s... can tell she thinks I'm evil for not mollycoddling him and being unsympathetic

@Aria20
🤣🤣🤣, Love the visual of your DH with his DGOD with his hoodie pulled up

If your DH is going on about thinking he could have the coronavirus, then say, "oh my we must report this to the authorities right away to prevent an epidemic in our town!" Bet that will have him feeling better in no time flat....kind of like the PP who told her DH that she was going to ring the church so that the prayer team could come round for a visit. Immediate cure!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Jojo2wyatr it is a treat but I have to say it's preferable to the hideous hooded onesie he had about 5 years ago, I took the piss out of him so much and told him he looked like a giant toddler and he had to get rid of it if he ever wanted to have sex again - thankfully it was donated to the charity shop.... some other poor woman must be cursing me!

Aaaarrrrgh.
He’s just slipped into the GDOD, and the pj’s of pain, and the slippers of suffering.
It’s 7.30, Friday night and he’s “feeling a bit under the weather”. I wish he was “feeling a bit under the patio.” tbh. He hopes it’s nothing serious, while I’m hoping it’s fatal.

@Littlemissdaredevil
Look! Who knew your DH was actually a hero and sacrificing his own comfort so that another poor soul could get the ibuprofen.

Mine has backache atm. He may not see morning cos I'm going to fucking smother him if he doesn't stop moaning and actually takes some pain relief. I had knee pain earlier in the week and took some otc pain relief and the fucker had the audacity to comment that he hoped I wasn't becoming addicted.

@Aria20
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Actually about laughed my head off at the onesie hoodie! Please tell me it was a gift from his mother!
Yes, and you probably shouldn't have outed yourself saying it was you who donated it to a charity shop. I could definitely see some poor wife putting a curse on you!🤪

@Pppppp.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DH almost ended up under the patio earlier. I text him during the day to try to get an idea of how long it would take him to stick the remaining 4 tiles onto the wall and grout them and put approx 2 x 1 meter square of laminate onto the bathroom floor as I need to organise the plumber to come back and finish the bathroom (if we want him to come back in two/three weeks time I need to call him now). Apparently he doesn’t want to put himself under pressure by giving a date he will be finished by and make himself ‘ill’ - its taken him 4 weeks to tile round 2/3rds of a bath so he’s not exactly flogging himself into the ground. Meanwhile I’ve got several massive tip runs, clean and paint 2 coats in the large kitchen/diner in preparation for the kitchen arriving on Monday whilst squeezing in housework and food shopping whilst heavily pregnant!

Ye gods the man needs a kick up the backside.

Don’t be a martyr with the tip etc: he can do it!

@Jojo2wyatr the sad thing was he chose the onesie himself as he thought it looked comfy . But I've actually decided to also nominate my brother with his black hooded DGOD - he still lives at home with my parents at age 25 and when I was round there recently he staggered down the stairs, hood up doing the woe is me look and pathetic cough... was off work, not been drs or taken any meds but managed to stagger to the back door to smoke!!!