DH grunting with dressing gown of doom

[Littlemissdaredevil]

DH has a ‘bad’ shoulder. The non-stop grunting every time he moves is driving me mad. Even picking up the remote control deserves a little grunt. He’s also wearing the dressing gown of doom. In the meantime he is doing zero in the house due to his injury. I’m heavily pregnant and working FT.
For reference he hasn’t been off work, won’t see the GP, won’t got to the shop 1 minute walk away to get some ibuprofen, and was able to play football a couple of days ago. I wish he would just go and lie in bed then at least I wouldn’t have to put up with the grunting and shuffling.

Oh ! So funny, yet so true. Makes me feel better, I have put up with mine for 41.5 years, it doesn't get any easier and YES they do get even worse as time goes on. Mine gets up talking about himself and goes to bed talking about himself, always in his Dressing Gown of Gloom whilst demonstrating the Slipper Shuffle of Suffering! I can relate to the post and all the replies. My eldest 9 yr old grandaughter calls him Grumpy instead of Grandpa but he genuinely believes that she is joking ! :)

I had an ex who was terrible when ill/in pain. We went skiing once and he fell and said he'd hurt his back. I had little sympathy given his past behaviour. He then started saying he couldn't possibly ski further as he had probably broken his back but had such strong stomach muscles it was holding him together...

We had to get a bus back round the mountain at great expense and go the doctor. Naturally he had no travel insurance. When he came out with 3 prescriptions I felt pretty guilty and worried. They were for ibuprofen, paracetamol and deep heat. Needless to say he was back on the slopes no probelm the next day.

I've worked it out, they don't think you're REALLY ill because you don't have the right outfit, if you were REALLY ill you would have a DGOD, or a Smurf outfit, shakey hands, feeble cough etc, obviously. So tomorrow is now the offical Mumsnet Let's all be REALLY Ill Day- go forth and buy dressing gowns, onesies, whatever you like, wash and abuse them until they're ratty and worn and then do this properly!

DH spent 3 days in the DGOD with a cold. I made honey and lemon, did everything round the house and worked full time. WITH THE SAME COLD.

It was the groaning, talking in the low husky voice and swearing every time he sneezed that got to me the most. Plus the utterances of, “I can’t take much more of this” with every sneeze. Honestly.

Fortunately dd and I see the funny side. She has the worst cold of all of us.

@DieCryHate
A crown of malaise (stupid beanie hat that has a hole and is approximately 15 years old).

☝️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Blew coffee out of my nose over that one!
You lot and your hilarious descriptive phrases for Male illnesses attire has had me laughing for days!

He then started saying he couldn't possibly ski further as he had probably broken his back but had such strong stomach muscles it was holding him together...

This has made my evening!

You have solved the age old mystery @user1465335180!
You're Brill! Get out those illness outfits, MNETTERS....
Might take a few days to collect them all, though @user

Dressing gown of doom that is bloody class I've laughed for ages at this .Made a gloomy day seem much better . Hope he gets a grip soon x

Ok so when you have the baby he'll have to take over all household and baby tasks due to you being sore after birth. I'm sure he'll be only too happy to oblige.

I pmsl when DH add a limp for effect when there's nothing wrong with his leg.

Jojo, time is no object, a true master plan can not be rushed

But @hareagain, he's limping because he's carrying the weight of ther world on his shoulders while probably battling Ebola.

You just don't understand their pain....

@Littlemissdaredevil
Now don't forget to pack your going to hospital luggage with a DGOD, a pair of slippers so you can do the Shuffle of Suffering, oh and maybe you could borrow @SecretWitchs Quilt of Armageddon....unfortunately, I don't think the Beard of Indisposition nor the Smurfy Blue onesie will work for you, though. As soon as you arrive drag them all out of your bag and have them at the ready. I'm sure you will get lots of sympathy whilst there and continue with this attire until your LO is at LEAST 6months old...As @user1465335180 has brought up, it's our own fault for not dressing the part and continuing to soldier on....just as mums have done since the beginning of time....but @User has finally cracked the code of mystery! Well done!

My ex has a disgusting, ratty dressing gown (or did when I was still with him, bet he still does) that he wouldn't let me replace for a new one. He, too, would get the cold flannel for the forehead, the quavery voice, etc.

Good job I'm not still with him, he'd be under the patio by now, I was getting so sick of it. And of course, any time I was ill, I'd be ignored or told it couldn't possibly be that bad. Or even, when I had a really severe chest infection, told to go and sit in the chair in the lounge because he needed a good night's sleep to be able to go to work. No sympathy, of course.

@UglyMisters...just think of all the fun you are missing...maybe just borrow an especially dramatic one for a bit so you can add bits to the -comedy- seriousness of the situation

comedy

I 've noticed how men seem to have very low pain thresholds. We need to toughen them up by seriously neglecting them for a while.

Throw some ibuprofen at him and tell him to STFU.

Bloody men! (My hubs is the same)

My sister in law has the best cure for man moans.
She simply barks ' how old are you? Six?, go get a shower and get dressed '. Then sticks her earphones in.
Somehow, it cures her husband every time. 😂

I wonder if there's a correlation between how ill they were "allowed" to be as children and this behaviour.

DH doses himself up, then cracks on. MIL was a single parent and a teacher, so DH and BIL never had a day off school for colds.

Actually mine is really a keeper....of course I did train him to be like that.When we were first married I would always try to fix him up, offer a zillion suggestions, remedies, and cures...pour(figuratively of course) multitudes of care on his head...'Honey, do you need anything? Are you hungry? thirsty? cold?hot? Need the remote? Your book?, pillows need fluffing?, feet rubbed? Back scratched? Head rubbed?, extra blanket? Dressing Gown of Doom?( lol, jk about the dgod) Etc, etc,etc....🤣didn't take long for him to realize that it was much much better to suffer in silence than to have me peppering him with niceties every few seconds...He's been soldering on ever since....although if he slips and does try to get a little sympathy and I offer a heating pad, cold pack, pain pill and he refuses...I just say ok, don't come running to me if you start dying then....works ever time
Please excuse typos.
Oh, and he takes very good care of me when I'm not feeling well...( just thought of something! Maybe it's so I can get back to my normal hard working self😆)

I’ve gone to bed in a huff as if DH is doing nothing then I’m not doing any housework. DH announces that after appearing to be fit and well round his parents he not finishing off the DIY tonight as he is not feeling ‘well’. He has approx 1 hour left to do which is now holding up the plumber and has been for three weeks. We’ve missed the slot the plumber can do because of his dithering and god knows when he can come back. This after he specifically asked me to go to b&q tonight to get some adhesive so he could finish the tiling! The trouble is that he has form for being lazy and slopey shouldered and is more that happy for anyone else apart from him to pick up the slack so I basically don’t belive him.

I asked him if he slept better last night (he went out like a light all night after taking his painkillers strangely enough). He’s said to his parents in a small boy quivery voice that he slept a tiny bit better (lier). He’s seems to forget I’m pregnant and I keep waking up to go to loo and then I’m not able to go back to sleep.

I haven’t washed his football kit on the assumption he won’t be going to football this week. Dishes have been left in the sink and DD’s toys are still on the floor.

Damn right Littlemissdaredevil - don’t wash his football kit, he clearly can’t go!
My DH is a bit like this - his illness is always so much worse; during horrific morning sickness (which was all day) I carried on and received little sympathy. When he was ill it was the end of the world. He has a pathetic sad face and voice which drives me Mad! He wouldn't go to the doctor and complained that he’d slept so badly despite spending the night snoring away whilst I looked after our poorly son and barely slept.
I’ve come to the realisation that it’s because we soldier on, whilst they don’t. That and the DGOD. I started taking myself off to the bedroom to lie down when I feel crappy, telling him on my way up that he had to look after DS. He gets very huffy about it but it’s the only way i actually get some rest!
I reckon us women need to stop being superwomen and start shuffling around in a dressing gown and making the same stupid woe-is-me faces as they do and refuse to do anything when we are ill.

@Littlemissdaredevil I feel for you. My DH went through a phase of taking to bed with random symptom-less illnesses. In the end, after a few instances and his refusal to take any paracetamol or see a doctor, I phoned the church and, in a loud voice, requested they send the healing team over as he was clearly very ill.

Ten mins later he was up, showered and off to work.

A miracle!!