DH grunting with dressing gown of doom

[Littlemissdaredevil]

DH has a ‘bad’ shoulder. The non-stop grunting every time he moves is driving me mad. Even picking up the remote control deserves a little grunt. He’s also wearing the dressing gown of doom. In the meantime he is doing zero in the house due to his injury. I’m heavily pregnant and working FT.
For reference he hasn’t been off work, won’t see the GP, won’t got to the shop 1 minute walk away to get some ibuprofen, and was able to play football a couple of days ago. I wish he would just go and lie in bed then at least I wouldn’t have to put up with the grunting and shuffling.

I love the dressing gown of doom. Love it 🤣🤣

like a pissed off smurf

OP, maybe your DH plays football Riverdance style, with no upper body movement.

Does he wear the Y-fronts of infirmity?

I would be encouraging him to express his feelings in a poem, which he can dramatically wheeze at you while you give birth. The more noise you make, the more he will begin to die, like Tinkerbell.

Oh dear. I’m a bit worried now that this is me. Had a bad cold and awful sore throat all weekend and I’ve been wandering around in my dressing gown feeling sorry for myself!! When my throat gets very sore I’ve been whispering instead. My DH keeps mentioning the ‘man flu’ so it’s possible he’s ready to kill me....

Ooh if this is you, Crumpets, you can tell us why you are in the dressing gown instead of proper clothes. I have always wanted to know what the DGOD brings to the situation, other than as a symbol of “I’m so ill!”

In my view, if you’re retiring to your boudoir to waste away wear pyjamas. If you’re getting up, surely wearing normal clothes will make you feel more normal and hence better?

Enough already. You BARE you ass, but you BEAR something in mind.

Also, HAHAHAHA at pissed off smurf!

Whinging bastards. Especially when they launch into, “will I EVER feel well again?”

One of the many things that I don't miss from being in a relationship and reminds me why I am happily single. Loving this thread

No dressing gown here..we do have the sick quilt of Armageddon. My grandmother made me a nursery rhyme quilt when I was five. My mother always brought the quilt out when I was ill. I have carried that tradition on with my own children. My children are all grown now and husband has co-opted quilt. His taking it out of the cupboard and carrying it to the sofa is his signal that he is about to die. If he is really headed for the big one he will request in the faintest voice that I get the quilt for him and tuck it in.

DH does the “I’ve never been this ill before...” with a puzzled look on his face.
Yes you fucking have! Last time you caught the same cold as the rest of us and that time you had never been this ill before too.

I did point out that DS2 had managed to go to school despite the same cold triggering at least one nosebleed a day for the past 4 days.

What, then, are the correct garments for a dashing and elegant man to wear when struck down by disease?

I’m home now and dh has retired for a nap. As have ds and Dd.

I am winning at life right now.

Is just my DH that feels the need to take an ill selfie in a hoodie of doom (hood up obviously) with a daily fail sympathy face? Drives me mad. I didnt get any sympathy after I had a c section but he gets a sniffle which is always self diagnosed flu and takes to bed to post his 'I'm so poorly selfie'. Sadly its become the boy that cried wolf as when he caught HF&M off our toddler I completely disbelieved him until he had a rash.

DH has a sore hip, which now necessitates me having to tie his shoelaces for him as it’s “too sore to bend down”. I sent him to the doctor last week to get some proper painkillers but he got distracted by talking about all the things he can still do and forgot to ask for them.

I’m going to buy him a pair of Grey Slip-ons of Decrepitude.

When I was having my flu jab in the autumn, there was a middle aged couple ahead of me. I heard the woman ask the nurse if there was an extra strong jab for man flu. You could hear decades of frustration in her voice.

I had a colleague who had two children under three, a burst appendix and a broken wrist. Weirdly her DH's sniffle was more serious. Or it was until her lovely mil have him a stern talking to.

gave, not have 😕

@HenHarrier; crying at grey slip ons of decrepitude

@PigletJohn hazmat suit fitted with silencer

pissed off smurf 🤭
DH doesn't pocess a dressing gown, he sits about in shorts and a t shirt. When he's ill he puts on The Hoodie of Death. He pulls the cord so tight you can only see a pair of eyes and his stupid bushy beard. It looks like I've brought a hobo home.
When he has the cold he likes to hold one nostril closed to prove he can't breath through the other one. Unfortunately not long enough to pass out.

I know this is cheesy, but OMG I have found my people. I love this thread so much, and it's making me want to weep with joy.

Mainly because I don't feel so alone now. SO many men are the bloody same!!! My DH (aged 54,) displays ALL of the above mentioned, and sometimes I want to cry with frustration, and actually seriously wonder how much longer I can tolerate it. I swear he never used to be like this. (We have been together 30 years, and he has been like this for maybe 6 years or so...)

I mean when he was younger, he would moan about stuff like bad drivers, youths, people at work annoying him, etc etc..... but not his health. He never even went to the doctors for 20-25 years. But he started going about 6 years ago, (when he had an actual genuine 'small' ailment,) and I haven't been able to keep him away since.

I swear he has had about 15 different ailments in the last 5 or 6 years... heart beating funny, constant headaches, dizziness, bad kidneys, brain throbbing, bad shoulder, something wrong with his eyes, a painful hip, a painful knee, and numerous other ailments .. some that have been mentioned by other posters.

Then it's the 'dressing gown of doom' and the 'slipper shuffle of suffering' (LOL at these!) He ALSO huffs and puffs and groans and grunts, and sits in his chair holding his head in his hands, rocking back and forth, whilst massaging his temples.

He also blathers shit like 'will I ever feel well again?' and 'You best learn stuff like changing a plug and changing the tyre on the car, because I'm not long for this world, and you'll need to do it yourself soon.'

And he regularly says 'I'll be dead before I'm 60 I will..... YOU will live a long time, probably to 90, but I'll not live that much longer...'

For the last 5 or 6 years, he has not been ailment-free for a single moment. He has had around 15 ailments in that time, and only 2 have been genuine (and they were trivial, and were remedied and cured fairly quickly.)

Last time he went to the doctors, I went in with him, (as he asked me to,) and I could see the doctor was somewhat irritated by him. Especially as he has had test after test, and scans and ECGs and X-rays and blood tests galore, and nothing serious has ever come up. He must be costing the NHS a FORTUNE.

Why are men like this WHYYYYYY???? Women have SO much more issues and health problems than men. Yet we rarely complain.

Another thing is, whenever I say I have anything wrong with me, and I complain (which is rare!) he ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS has to 'top-trump' me with something much worse. I get so sick of his issues always being sooooo much worse than mine.

I said to him once (about 2 years ago,) that I didn't understand how and why he is ALWAYS 'ill' and why he always has something wrong with him. I did suggest he had health anxiety. He absolutely hit the roof, and was fuming that I was accusing him of LYING, and sulked for 2 days.

I said 'I am not saying you are LYING, or making anything up, I am just saying that could be imagining some of the ailments, because despite multiple tests and scans over the last 3-4 years, they have found NOTHING. (Which they hadn't at that point.)

About a week later, the entire conversation was forgotten, and once again he started the carping and moaning, and started shuffling about in his dressing gown, coughing weakly, and lying back and closing his eyes, or leaning forward, rocking back and forth.

I think I may murder him one day... soon. (So he will be right about ONE thing... dying before the age of 60!!!) 😈

DH still hasn’t roused. I’m force feeding him painkillers and applying diclofenic gel after pointing out to him they don’t work if you don’t open the packet ffs.

Littlemissdaredevil you mean simply glancing over at the packet every now and again doesn't work? What am I saying. I am married to a medicinal fucking chemist who makes drugs and yet still believes a single paracetamol should last a week.

short or long?

The Smoking Jacket of Suffering

Burgundy would hide the blood better.

My DH has had a sickness bug. Not very pleasant but dear God the drama.

The other night he staggered around the room saying he thought he needed an ambulance. I gave him 2 paracetamol and put him in a warm bath. Funnily enough 10 minutes later he felt a bit better and no longer needed an ambulance.

I'm not the most patient of people and him being I'll is genuinely more painful for me than him.