Aibu to leave a 10 and 8 year old home alone?

[Cloglover]

Just recently turned 10 and 8. The 10 year old is allowed to walk to their friends house or the shop independently, and I leave him alone in the house some mornings for 15 mins whilst I take my daughter to school if his dad has already gone to work. He has a phone and I take my phone so I am easily contactable. He's trustworthy and I feel comfortable with his current level of independence.

The 8 year old is allowed to go to the local shop alone (10 doors down - no roads to cross) to get sweets. I wouldn't leave her alone in the house beyond going to the shop myself for milk, tho not actually sure I've ever done it!

I will need to nip out for 30 mins with their dad at 5.30 in a couple of weeks, just down the road for a quick meeting. I know he'll suggest getting his mum to watch them, (lives other side of town so 30 mins there and back to pick her up and then 30 mins to dip her off and get home) or us take them to his mums, come back to our side of town for the meeting and then pick them up. All of which I have happily done for the last 10 years! But are we now at a stage where we could just leave them for half an hour and save the faff? We all have phones and the meeting is a 10 min walk/3 min drive away.

Is it just a bit too young? I feel OK about the 10 year old but leaving an 8 year old in his care too? Even tho it will only be late afternoon/early evening it will most prob be dark.

I know they'll behave as they would love the chance to be home alone. I imagine all they will do is play Minecraft! Possibly the 8 year old will take the opportunity to raid the sweet cupboard, a which I'm OK with!

The laws on leaving children are so wishy washy too so they can't provide me with a benchmark!

I would be grateful for your views, experiences. Thanks x

Mine were 10 and 8 (in fact a couple of weeks shy of 8 IIRC) when I first left them alone together for half an hour or so. It was absolutely fine. And the 10yo wasn't 'responsible for' the 8yo (though I don't think I'd have left the 8yo alone by himself at that age).

@bobstersmum
Hahaha my 10 year old does go to school. Every day! My kids go to different schools, in totally different directions and and have very different start times. I drop her at school, then come home to take him. His dad is usually at home but if he has an early meeting, I let my son chill at home whilst I take her. They have only been at different schools since September so it's only a recent thing.

@rezie
I went to a scandi country for a year at uni and it was normal for 5 year olds to ski to school for several miles in blizzards! But then again it was normal when I was young (back in the 80s) that you would have 7 year olds walking their 5 year old siblings to school.

It really does seem a different world since I was young.

I have an 11 year old and 8 year old and sometimes leave them for a maximum of 20 mins to half an hour, they get on well, are both pretty sensible and the 11 year old has a phone. We did it this morning to go and get my car which had a flat battery, so dh and I had top drive 5 mins up the road in the other car to jump start it. We told them they could play on the ps4, we would be back asap and that if there was a problem we would call and tell them to go to their grandparents round the corner.

It's up to you if you know you can trust them. I find children usually live up to your expectations and my two like the trust.

@Jenpop234
That's really helpful, thanks.
According to those nspcc guidelines I would consider leaving an 8 year old for half an hour alone is acceptable. Not that she will be alone.

@dramaticpenguin
It's up to you if you know you can trust them. I find children usually live up to your expectations and my two like the trust.

Absolutely! My two are they same. When I need them to step up, they always surpass my expectations.

I wouldn't.

Def not. They would be going to friends if no relative could come.
I started leaving at 10 in Year 6 but not with younger sibling and for very short time usually to drop off the other one.

CatteStreet so the 10yo wasnt responsible for the 8yo - yet you wouldn't have left the 8yo alone. It's either one or the other. Cant be both.

OP ultimately it's up to you. But clearly you weren't completely comfortable with it, or u wouldn't have asked for advice from total strangers.
I remember babysitting for a neighbour when I was 14. And I remember feeling scared being in a house that I didnt know what the creaks etc were, and I remember sitting thinking what if something happens? At 14. And I genuinely was a responsible 14yo.
An 8yo is still a tiny child with no real experience of the world or problems to deal with. Similarly the 10yo- yet the 10yo is to be expected to also be in charge of the 8yo? It just seems bonkers to me.

In fact, mumsnet is bonkers. As a pp says, if the post was "my 10yo and 8yo were home alone and xxx happened- and I'm now in trouble", people would be crucifying the poster. are there literally no friends they can stay with for this time?

I left my 8 and 11 yr old home for 20 mins while I had to pop to the doctors. I felt comfortable as the 8 yr old is very sensible and I know they wouldn’t fight.

The 11 yr old is used to being on his own anyway as he walks to secondary school by himself and is home after school for a bit until I finish work.

They both were on screens so hardly moved, DS has a phone to call me on, and they know all the rules. It was walking distance so I knew traffic wouldn’t be a problem.

I think you have to make these judgements yourself. Mine like having a little bit of independence. We have friendly neighbours nearby and have talked through various scenarios. I wouldn’t have left them for longer than half an hour though.

Interesting someone mentions a power cut - we actually had one the other day and I used it as practice about what to do! My eldest (14) straight away got her mobile phone and turned the torch on.

You know them. It sounds like you have thought it through and feel okay about it.

As others have observed, it is very much a cultural and regional thing. Move house and you will find neighbours who are shocked at how overprotective you are (or how underprotective you are, LOL). You'll either get "Everyone knows that a child of this age cannot possibly be trusted..." or "My kids were making their way across a city alone when they were younger than that!"