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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend got a Valentine’s card that wasn’t from me

107 replies

Aibuto · 14/02/2020 17:58

Just as the title says.
My boyfriend got a card in the post this morning that wasn’t from me!
He thinks he knows who it’s from as he recognises the handwriting. He reckons an ex girlfriend of his who he split up with last January.
AIBU to message her to ask her what she’s playing at? She knows he’s with me now so why is she still bothering?

OP posts:
Sally872 · 14/02/2020 19:34

he thinks he recognises the handwriting

It might not even be her ffs.

Even if it is ex girlfriend what benefit is messaging her? If she knows about you she isnt bothered and messaging her is unlikely to change that. More likely it isnt her at all.

MC68 · 14/02/2020 19:34

GreyishDays
GrinGrinGrinGrin Brilliant reply!! Just brilliant Star

zzzzzzzx · 14/02/2020 19:38

There's literally no point to your jealousy. If he wanted to get back with his ex, you wouldn't be able to stop him so why bother doing anything?

Papiermachecat · 14/02/2020 19:42

You don't own him. I once got 7 valentines cards on one day. In my prime. Not in school! And I had boyfriend and I wasn't shagging any of them, apart from boyfriend.

Good old days :)

Jellybeansincognito · 14/02/2020 19:42

That’s a point too- how on earth would she know where he’s living?

bridgetreilly · 14/02/2020 19:45

If you wish to look like an unhinged, utter fool, by all means, contact her.

This.

Purpleartichoke · 14/02/2020 19:46

Just ignore it. If it’s anonymous you don’t know who sent it for sure and even if it wasn’t, he should deal with it.

I once got flowers on valentines from an acquaintance. He worked in my building and didn’t realize I lived with someone. I was polite and let him know. Nice guy. Had I not already been in a relationship I would have gone on a date with him.

thepeopleversuswork · 14/02/2020 19:48

FGS don't contact her.

Either she's deliberately trying to stir up trouble or she's totally deluded: either way you'll lose dignity and high ground by responding.

Sending a card to someone you know is in a relationship with someone else is slightly pathetic but its not illegal. He's with you, not her. If you take the bait you just look pathetic too.

Tombliwho · 14/02/2020 19:48

Valentines day brings out more crazy threads than Christmas!

shiningstar2 · 14/02/2020 19:50

You sound a bit insecure op. Only you know whether you have reason to be or not. I would go with dignified silence on the issue but be quietly watching. If it's only a card with no encouragement from your oh ...no problem. If it's more than that you will find out quicker what's going on and whether you have reason to worry if you seem unconcerned. Flowers

ADJ1151 · 14/02/2020 19:52

Don’t acknowledge. Acknowledging would mean she is getting the attention she is craving. Ignore it, pretend it never happened that will bother her more!

ilovesooty · 14/02/2020 19:55

Good grief. What a fuss about nothing much. You don't even know she sent it and if you contact her you'll look very foolish.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 14/02/2020 19:58

Why on Earth would YOU contact her??? The only way this become an issue is by YOU making an issue of it, the more jealous you look the more important she would look to him.

SabineUndine · 14/02/2020 19:59

What @ilovesooty said! If that's your biggest problem right now, count yourself lucky. It's a card, ffs.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 14/02/2020 20:00

... actuality, I would go as far as saying that if my new boyfriend made a jealous scene with one of my exes, I would know straight away who I need to get rid of.

Poptasmagorical · 14/02/2020 20:02

The very first reply to this thread is the only one you need.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 14/02/2020 20:03

Having said that, are we getting Valentroll day? These ridiculous threads seem to have been written by the same hand...

Daily Mail? Looking for a nice thing to publish tomorrow? You should have started yesterday Wink

Raspberrytruffle · 14/02/2020 20:03

Why not piss on him to mark your territory? Or you could just ignore and laugh that your dp is irrisitable to the opposite sex? She probably did it to get a rise out of you OP and it appears to be working. If you collar her you will look batshit, proper handbags at dawn Grin

NearlyGranny · 14/02/2020 20:06

Sent it himself to watch your reaction, didn't he?!

FloreanFortescue · 14/02/2020 20:07

Post disappeared Hmm hope all is okay.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 14/02/2020 20:09

If it was the ex then she did it not because she’s in love with him, but to cause trouble. And that’s what she’s done. If you were secure and happy in your relationship, if you trusted your BF wasn’t cheating and wouldn’t be tempted to cheat, then a valentines from an ex should be nothing more than pathetic in your eyes.

Someone wanted to piss you, or him, or both of you off.

Job done.

UglyMisters · 14/02/2020 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WestCountryLady · 14/02/2020 20:22

You don't know who it was from and nor does he, it might be someone trying to cause trouble, it might be a wind up from a mate?

I got an adorable valentines card from my daughter, she made it at nursery but didn't think to write who it was from - does he have any children?

Mrsmadevans · 14/02/2020 20:31

'Just ask her when you see her at school on Monday.'
That will be a week Monday Greyish it's half term Grin

scottishlass123 · 14/02/2020 20:32

Think of the positives, instead of the negatives. Just be flattered that you are with someone who is liked by others, a good catch let's say! It doesn't matter how she behaves as you are both in a committed relationship. Just pity her rather than be angry with her, she had her chance and blew it. Now do not give her a second thought. And if you every meet her just say how sweet it was that she was still thinking of him and that you hope she finds a loving relationship of her own.