My bf keeps promising things that dont happen. How would you approach this?

[NatureWalk]

I have been with my bf for a while now, to the point where we are looking at moving in together. Our kids love each other and the relationship is wonderful. We both came out of abusive relationships, mine was more mental, his ex physically attacked him many times.
However he promises things that dont appear and it's really starting to get to me. My ex would promise me things as a form of control so I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive about this.
A couple of examples, his dp are planning their yearly family trip in march, his dp take him and his daughter away to a haven type place and he asked if I wanted to do with my kids. I said I'd love too but I cant afford a holiday this year, he said no problem he would pay the extra for a bigger caravan some could go. They are going in march and since the initial conversation it's not come up again.
It's also my middle sons birthday at the beginning of march I mentioned to bf I was upset that I couldnt afford a party he said dont worry he would transfer me the money soni could book something small. That was a couple of weeks ago and nothing. He stays at mine a few nights a week (he lives with his parents) and inhave to drive a 40 min round trip to get him as he doesnt drive, hes always promising petrol money and to do food shop etc to cover some of the cost but these things never come. He has paid for petrol a couple of times.

I'm not sure how to say to him to stop promising things if he cant deliver them. I dont want it to effect the relationship but i know if dont say something soon I'll snap and itll cause a massive argument.

So I decided to bite the bullet and said are you still going away in march and he said yea but I'll hate being away from you for a week. I feel like an idiot.

And did you say "oh, I thought you had promised to pay for us to come"?

I know I need to do something. I literally just cried about how tight money is and he didnt say a word.

Sorry OP. He's not worth it.
If you're paying all the time anyway you're better off on your own.
He could have ordered pizza if he wanted but he won't pay for it.

I know I need to do something. I literally just cried about how tight money is and he didnt say a word.

You don't just need to do "something" you need to end it!

I get that it's sad but you really haven't known him that long and thank god he's shown you his true colours this early.

I don't understand why you don't seem resolute about breaking up with him? He's a nob! Your kids deserve better then this.

Of your kid came to you with this issue about their bf, what would you suggest? They deserve better right? Show them you don't take shit like this and stay.

He is literally taking food out of your kids' mouths OP. Things wouldn't be so tight for you this month if you weren't subsidising him. And he didn't even offer to do anything to help when you were crying about it

Seriously OP. Your parents are helping you out and you're effectively spending that money on food and fuel for him rather than on you and your kids? And you're worried he might think you're after his money??
*
That would be a deal breaker for me. I'd be mortified to ask for money from my parents, when he's the reason I can't make ends meet this month.

He's using you, and I don't believe the wallet story for one minute.*

This

Why your kids come after this tight-fisted arsehole, I do not know

I know I need to do something. I literally just cried about how tight money is and he didnt say a word.

Can't you SEE what's happening? Jesus Christ woman -

GET
RID
OF
HIM
FOR
GOOD

I'd never put anyone in front of my kids.

This is exactly what you are doing right now.

For the love of all that is holy tell him to get the fuck out of your house right now. Who gives a fuck how he gets home - he can damn well walk. He has taken you for a right fool. Time to stand up for yourself and not get taken in by another prick.

Just say 'do you know what Dave, you come here to stay, contribute damn all, promise the kids pizza but conveniently 'forget' your wallet, talk bullshit about online banking and now, after promising us a holiday in March, tell me you will miss me when you go - get out of my house you freeloading cocklodger'.

You are broke because you are driving to get him & feeding him & his DC.nor is he helping with hot water.
Sorry, You cannot afford to cover his extra costs.
Apparently he doesn't care.
Tell him you won't be driving him home, no petrol

I think that you need to have a good open conversation about things with this man,regarding everything that is making you worry and be upset .Otherwise,things will continue being the same. If he doesn't care to give any thoughts about money issues that are affecting you, it's a poor state of affairs isn't it ?

How does he run a small business without internet banking?

So now he's not taking you on holiday.

Hew doesn't trust internet banking

Get rid he's a scrubbing arse.

*scrounging not scrubbing

Ha good point about his business. How can you run a business in 2020 if you don’t use online banking?

The money you're spending on him is money you could instead use to improve the day-to-day lives of your kids.

Thats a good point about his business. I've never really questioned that.

I have a small business. There's no way he would be able to manage his business effectively without Internet banking.
I'm sorry OP but he sounds like a cocklodger to me.

It wouldn't surprise me if he moved in with you and gave up his part time job to focus on his business and leave you paying all the bills.

Please don't move in with him.

Oh love.
Do you realise in your first post, you actually said that with regards to money towards your son’s birthday party, that your boyfriend says he would transfer the money?

Yet now he says he doesn’t trust internet banking.

Just say 'do you know what Dave, you come here to stay, contribute damn all, promise the kids pizza but conveniently 'forget' your wallet, talk bullshit about online banking and now, after promising us a holiday in March, tell me you will miss me when you go - get out of my house you freeloading cocklodger'.

Yes, say this.

I also fail to see how he can run a business without online banking. In fact it's all a load of bollocks isn't it. Where's the nearest bank? Banks are closing all the time so most people have great difficulties getting to a branch and use online banking for their personal banking.
He's spinning you a line. And this business with the pizza tonight should be the absolute last straw.

Hes said a few times he will transfer money for this and that. I've just realised as well he said he would give me money towards the season passes I bought for the kids christmas and that would be his present to the kids and hes never done that when. I went out and bought his daughter new clothes etc.

Are you supposed to be driving him home tomorrow?
Honestly, what do you think would happen if you needed a fiver for petrol to get HIM home?
Reckon he’d be prepared to trust online banking then?

How much party food could you have bought for the cost of his daughter’s clothes? I’m guessing sandwiches and cakes for 10 little friends.

And he multiple time used the phrase “transfer” money to you before.

He is taking the fucking piss.

How much more disposable income than you, do you estimate he has?