Doctor won't allow an ultrasound

[BuddingBaker]

Not really AIBU but posting for traffic as I don't know what to do and hope anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me some advice.

I've got an 11 month old DD, still breastfeeding 2-3 times a day, sometimes more at night when she's teething and finished maternity leave October last year. DP and I want a second child close in age so were TTC over October, November and the very beginning of December. We stopped when I started feeling ill because urine tests were coming back negative and we don't want to start a pregnancy until I was better. Since the birth, I have had one period in August and cramps but no actual period in September.

So, for the last 12 weeks I have had what I would describe as morning sickness - nausea 24/7, very regular d&v (often waking at 4am to rush to the bathroom) and finding myself suddenly repulsed by a meal in the middle of eating it. In addition to this, I've also had periods of insomnia where I've slept about 2 hours a night for a 3 to 5 days or not even slept at all and I've been having very frequent mood swings, getting very frustrated at the tiniest things which is really not like me - I'm normally a very laid back person and have only ever been like this during my last pregnancy. In the last month or so I've also been finding that I'm am knackered pretty much all the time and it's not because of the baby, thankfully my DP only works 2 nights a week will always insist on taking her to let me get some sleep so I get plenty of rest but even after sleeping 10+ hours I find myself needing a couple naps during the day which again is not like me at all - both before and after DD I used to get about 5 or 6 hours a night and that would be more than enough.

More recently over the last two weeks my boobs have been getting quite tender and I've been feeling flutters or spasms in my belly. My allergies are more sensitive and I cant seem to get comfortable in bed, often waking with backache - both of which I had pretty much throughout my last pregnancy.

The nausea and d&v have been so bad that I've been off work since this started, and I first went to the GP 2 later because it hadn't eased off. First thing they asked was am I pregnant, have I done a test. I told them I'd done a few and all negative so had bloods taken to check hCG levels. Came back as

Sounds like you need a colonoscopy and gastroscopy not a scan to see if you're pregnant

Is there a different Dr at your surgery who you can see?

@CakeandCustard28 I agree I think the mind can cause strange things to happen to somebody.

The mind can be very strong over things like this.

I once was convinced I was pregnant. I had all the symptoms I had in the other pregnancies. Sickness, enhanced smell, painful boobs, needing the loo all the time.... I didn't even want to be pregnant.
Then my period came, and the moment I saw it had come the symptoms vanished like a switch had turned them off.

Now if I'd had those symptoms over the time I was breastfeeding and my period hadn't returned (with dd2 it was nearly 2 years) I would have done a test, and probably another one... and another because I was so convinced I was.

You would surely be too early stage pregnant to start feeling movement even if you were pregnant.

Also, if you can’t afford £40 for a private scan I would suggest you can’t afford another child.

Why the rush for another baby? It takes 2 years for your body to recover from being pregnant and giving birth. You need to give yourself time to properly recover.

Until you have resolved the symptoms that you’re currently experiencing I hope you’re not still having unprotected and?

*sex, not and!

Is there a different Dr at your surgery who you can see?

Second that as I've had a similar set of circumstances albeit a long time ago now I thought that all doctors were the same!.

Not so, some you can get on with better then others!

Assuming your GPhas ruled out all physical causes you really need to consider psychosomatic causes for your pregnancy symptoms. Honestly, if you read a bit around this it’s astonishing what the mind can trick you into believing. This is NOT the same as making something up.

You sound very ambivalent about your workplace and your wish to be there at all and completely convinced that you are pregnant- at this point I’m not even sure a scan would reassure you. You’d be back on here asking if scans were completely reliable.

Start to open your mind to NOT being pregnant, or indeed ill and possibly take your doctors advice and go for a walk and focus on being well.

Finally, I once was sure I was pregnant after having a Mirena coil inserted and having no periods. I did several tests and was CERTAIN I could feel fetal movements. I couldn’t because I wasn’t pregnant. The brain is very, very powerful.

Also yes, I frequently feel what feels like not just baby movement but kicks. Sometimes you can actually see the movement.

I have endometriosis and adhesions on my bowels (these can also be caused by surgeries, if you’ve had a c section for example), and I get very painful trapped wind which I’m sure is the cause. It feels exactly like a baby kicking though and has scared me to death a few times to the point I’ve done tests. I also get insanely painful breasts before periods, like right now - have to be careful how I cuddle my twins as if they lean on them it really hurts.

Have you been swimming a lot recently? As some long lasting stomach bugs can be passed in even chlorinated water.

Did it start like a stomach bug?

If you want to get pg then stop bf. Although you can get pg the prolactin could affect hormone levels.
However with other posters it doesnt sound like you have enough savings.
Some mat leave pay is based on what you were earning very early in pg so not sure if that is affected by being on sick pay.

I had similar after a failed ivf due to the bloating really thinking pg but i wasnt.

It could just be a virus (dc was sick in nov, then 10 days later and then in jan, all very similar circumstances).
Cant remember if you said if you were taking reflux meds?
If youve gained a lot of pg weight that could affect hormones maybe cause pcos type symptoms

Personally I wouldn’t waste the money on the private scan you aren’t pregnant and despite protesting that you’d be fine with that you seem pretty determined to convince yourself that you are

My husband had a year of symptoms not too dissimilar to yours all of the tests that you’ve had including endoscopies MRIs we paid for him to see a private consultant couldn’t come up with anything. After months of nothing working and oncoming depression out of desperation we went to a nutritionist privately who sent samples to America for tests and they found the problem Was microscopic and related to bacterial overgrowth in the gut. It was then relatively quickly sorted out at least managed to minimise symptoms

suppose that’s not an option for you considering you can’t afford a £40 private pregnancy scan?

Your main concern is pregnancy. No

My concern here is cancer.
You’ve got £80 for 2 weeks of food.
Scrape together your £40 for your scan- and budget your £40- wise shopping and smaller portions would be doable.

You can’t put a price on your health, at all.

If you were worried you’d be analysing the contents of your cupboards and freezer and coming up with a resolution to this.

I think you sound like you have health anxiety.

FWIW I had a really traumatic pregnancy / delivery / DTs nearly died, as did I. For around 6 months after we first had sex after birth I was convinced I was pregnant. Absolutely convinced. Puking, sore boobs, feeling movements, spending £££££ on pregnancy tests. I was terrified of being pregnant, had PND, was in a sleep deprived state. The mind can do very powerful things.

I know someond who regularly has phantom pregnancies, all the symptoms, nausea, no periods, sore boobs etc. It's down to a benign tumour in the brain.
I'm obviously not saying this is what you have, but there are other explanations for things like this.

Stop googling your symptoms. Apply for a credit card, pay for the private scan, cut up the card, make sure you pay it off when you get paid.

RightYesButNo - That's exactly how I have been approaching it with the doctor, didnt even mention pregnancy until about 2 weeks ago. It started off as nausea, d&v, heartburn and backache, particularly in bed at night, and she didnt pay much attention to the back ache and prescribed gaviscon for the nausea and heartburn while I was having tests done. I have since mentioned the periods of insomnia and tiredness (after I'd caught up on sleep) which she pretty much just dismissed and told me to go for a walk (I go out every day with DD so was pretty annoyed by the implication that I've just been sitting around at home all this time)

I have had a look at the nhs site regarding ovarian cancer and it's definitely something to bring up. I am quite young for it (24) but my mum's twin sister had it a few years ago and needed surgery so I will mention that as well. I've been calling the surgery between tidying and looking after DD but not managed to get through yet. I'll keep trying.

I've been through my finances a lot already so I'm not going over it again. The bottom line is I cant afford a scan right now and I will see if I can sell anything to make a little extra money.

I have been open to the idea of it not being pregnancy, even convinced it wasnt at one point. For the first few weeks, yes our first thought was pregnancy because we had been TTC and it's the first thing you think of with nausea and d&v that lasts more than 2 weeks. Then we had negatives bloods, that was fine we accepted that and started to focus on finding out what was wrong. This was 2 months ago. Since then I have had several blood tests, given several samples, internal and external physical examinations by the doctor and nothing has helped. Then, about 3 weeks ago, DP bumped into a friend who said they had been through the exact same thing, negative bloods and all, and were 4 months pregnant so we need to get a scan. DP is adamant his friend wouldnt lie about this so this is when we've started to reconsider pregnancy.

We didnt mention it to the doctor straight away as we were still waiting for some test results but when we got the negative results and the doctor just asked if gaviscon had helped the nausea before saying she'd look into a flu jab (which I'd never mentioned before) and pretty much showing us the door we asked if pregnancy could be possible. She said it's impossible if the blood test (I'd had 2 months ago) was negative and dismissed us. The next appointment was when she agreed the hCG test and recommended walking for the tiredness. She's not currently testing for anything else or trying to treat my symptoms.

I know that pregnancy is unlikely, I really do. After 3 months of this and the doctor no longer knowing what to test for it was hard to see any other option to be honest but I will look into ovarian cancer so thank you to those who suggested it. Even my boss, who has been a nurse for a long time, keeps asking if they're certain I'm not pregnant because he has heard of the blood tests not being accurate so I hope some of you can understand why it's hard to not consider pregnancy when, until now, I couldn't think of anything else that fit the symptoms that I havent already been tested for.

As for feeling a baby at 12 weeks, I imagine if it were a pregnancy, it would have taken a couple weeks for the morning sickness to kick in so maybe 14 weeks. Either way, I felt my first at around 15 weeks so it's not that unlikely.

Ask you boss for a loan of the money, ask your mum to ask her friends for a fiver each.
If you truly believe something is going on, and you are not imagining it, youd make that your one and only priority

Can't afford £40.... you've got an issue if you are pregnant!

I hope it’s not pregnancy if you don’t even have £40 to spare

I'd be asking for an urgent referral for a scan(s) to check for gynae issues rather than pregnancy, and a closer look at your stomach and bowels. And find out exactly what bloods have already been done. All common deficiencies ruled out (eg iron, ferritin, vitamin D, folate - unlikely you be the main cause of your symptoms but still possible contributing factors)? Inflammatory markers? Thyroid? CA125? Hormone levels? There's so many more likely diagnoses than a cryptic pregnancy, some of which I think you need to fairly urgently (and hopefully!) rule out. I know GP appts can be hard to get but I wouldn't be waiting til March.

Why were you TTC if you can’t even afford a private scan?

Ovarian cancer is unlikely at your age even with it in the family. The symptoms you describe aren’t particularly characteristic, altho it can include diarrhoea and constipation.

From the symptoms some kind of gastrointestinal infection that hasn’t cleared seems most likely to me. The other things would be diverticulitis (unlikely in a young person tho not impossible), IBS, IBD.

The GP is wrong that you can’t be pregnant with negative pregnancy tests - but it’s not the most likely scenario based on your symptoms.

It does seem extraordinary to have no savings at all. This episode serves to show why building up savings is vital.

I think you also need to consider that your want for another baby coupled with anxiety is making your ‘symptoms’ worse. I think you need to get back to work and normal before you start asking for more investigation.

Can people stop jumping on the OP about her finances. If you read the full thread you’ll see that she has explained repeatedly!!