Doctor won't allow an ultrasound

[BuddingBaker]

Not really AIBU but posting for traffic as I don't know what to do and hope anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me some advice.

I've got an 11 month old DD, still breastfeeding 2-3 times a day, sometimes more at night when she's teething and finished maternity leave October last year. DP and I want a second child close in age so were TTC over October, November and the very beginning of December. We stopped when I started feeling ill because urine tests were coming back negative and we don't want to start a pregnancy until I was better. Since the birth, I have had one period in August and cramps but no actual period in September.

So, for the last 12 weeks I have had what I would describe as morning sickness - nausea 24/7, very regular d&v (often waking at 4am to rush to the bathroom) and finding myself suddenly repulsed by a meal in the middle of eating it. In addition to this, I've also had periods of insomnia where I've slept about 2 hours a night for a 3 to 5 days or not even slept at all and I've been having very frequent mood swings, getting very frustrated at the tiniest things which is really not like me - I'm normally a very laid back person and have only ever been like this during my last pregnancy. In the last month or so I've also been finding that I'm am knackered pretty much all the time and it's not because of the baby, thankfully my DP only works 2 nights a week will always insist on taking her to let me get some sleep so I get plenty of rest but even after sleeping 10+ hours I find myself needing a couple naps during the day which again is not like me at all - both before and after DD I used to get about 5 or 6 hours a night and that would be more than enough.

More recently over the last two weeks my boobs have been getting quite tender and I've been feeling flutters or spasms in my belly. My allergies are more sensitive and I cant seem to get comfortable in bed, often waking with backache - both of which I had pretty much throughout my last pregnancy.

The nausea and d&v have been so bad that I've been off work since this started, and I first went to the GP 2 later because it hadn't eased off. First thing they asked was am I pregnant, have I done a test. I told them I'd done a few and all negative so had bloods taken to check hCG levels. Came back as

Your not pregnant but your desperately trying to conceive yourself and others that you are. Your doctor has given you blood tests and they even came back negative. Its time to face reality I'm afraid.

DId you post this or something similar recently under a different name?

My first thought was exactly the same as everyone else on this thread, private scan. If you have taken a pregnancy test recently which was also negative then chances are you’re not pregnant but you seem genuinely convinced you are so a private scan is the only way to prove it really.

The symptoms sound a lot like IBS to me. It’s common not to have periods when breastfeeding, I didn’t have one for over a year with my third child who stopped breastfeeding at 15 months.

I'm sure I read an article in a newspaper (would have been the Times, Guardian or on the BBC website) somewhere that some of the companies doing the 3d and 4d scans don't use people who are qualified the same as the NHS staff. Either way, the OP should check before booking the scan to be sure of getting a quality service.

Agree. CA125 is indicative, not diagnostic, and a problem really gynae once-over to exclude (one hopes) cancer wouid include a scan. But that wouldn't that be arranged by the hospital clinic rather than GP?

I had a raised CA125 test and GP referred me to gynae for an urgent scan, got the appointment via telephone for just a few days later. Thankfully everything was fine, all sorts of benign stuff can throw up an irregular result, but with the symptoms I had it was worth checking as ovarian cancer is a sneaky bastard with signs that can be easily attributed to other things - oh it's just stress, oh I'm overdoing it, oh it's a bit of tummy trouble, etc.

OP, I really would push your GP for a CA125 test. The chances of ovarian cancer are low but your symptoms justify having the test done.

You are not pregnant. Don't bother with a private scan

I'm reporting this now as it bears a lot of similarity to several recent threads about 'cryptic pregnancies'.

Okay I'm making an assumption that this is genuine. If so, ring emergency and say you fear you may be suffering an ectopic pregnancy.

Please don't do this. This is awful advice and lying about symptoms in order to get a scan takes away valuable resources from women who genuinely need to access them. Not only that but it increases the 'gatekeeping' of those services to protect them from people who lie which again makes it more difficult for women in genuine need to access them.

In short: don't be a dick.

If money is so tight you can't afford a private scan, is now really a great time to have a baby?

Private sonographers are usually also NHS sonographers making some extra money or they’re former NHS sonographers. They are fully qualified, they’re not just like money grabbing foetus photographers .

Jesus. Too long. I think you bored your GP.

The GP is being difficult @TatianaLarina ? There’s literally no medical reason for a scan she is quite obviously not pregnant. Huge waste of NHS resources

She’s been off work with nausea, D&V for 12 weeks.

If she’s not pregnant there’s something wrong with her.

A friend of mine had all negative pregnancy tests until she was 20 weeks. Over 40 urine tests she did and blood tests.

Why do you have to wait until March for a blood test - usually you can drop in to a phlebotomy unit and wait. Appreciate you may not be able to reach a hospital.

Anxiety symptoms??

I agree there’s something wrong with her, but it’s almost certainly not a pregnancy. 12 weeks of diarrhoea doesn’t point towards pregnancy, much more likely gastro symptoms

I've just seen you said on another thread you felt movement a full month ago. You would definitely either have an emerging bump or a uterus big enough to tell by feel by now.

I do think it sounds quite worrying, so don't give up (try a different Dr if they "can't think" of anything else) but I really don't think it's a baby.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder/symptoms/

Have they done a colonoscopy and CT scan? Stool and blood tests don’t always pick up gastro problems.

Ah it's you again

You've posted about this countless times and about feeling "movement" and been told countless times get a private scan / if you were pregnant a dr would be able to feel by now!! You are not pregnant

Private scan.

Midwife

Phantom pregnancy is definitely something to consider. I will mention that and ovarian cancer to the doctor when I next see her.

To be clear, I am not desperate to get pregnant and I am aware that it is highly unlikely. I would be happy if this turns out to be a pregnancy, but at tbe same time if it doesn't I wont be heartbroken. I have had three months of tests and still have no answer so pregnancy would be the better possible option at this point. I would not even be considering pregnancy if DP didnt know someone who has gone through the exact same thing as me, with blood tests coming back as negative, not just urine, and eventually found out they were 4 months along. It's not heresy or information found online, it's someone my DP knows. I have found other posts online claiming the same but I wouldnt be seriously considering it if DPs friend hadn't told him to insist on a scan.

As for wasting NHS time and money, I get that, I really do. But surely my last 2 appointments during which the doctor has suggested to look my symptoms up online and get a flu jab rather than trying to diagnose what's wrong isnt the best use of time or money? The doctor is out of ideas and is waiting on me getting another hCG blood test. I didnt get a form for it and was told to book it at the GP surgery which dont have one available until March but I will call and see if I can have one done at the phlebotomy department at the hospital instead.

I obviously havent been clear enough about this but my financial situation isnt normally like this. Firstly, I am on half pay so my take home pay leaves next to nothing after my DP and I pay our bills. As for family, DPs mum has recently been signed off work and currently cant even afford her own bills until her benefits start so has no money to spare, doesnt know his dad. My mums dad passed away a few weeks ago and she has had to stop working to look after her 95yo mum meaning she isnt earning and my dad is having to pay all the bills while shes gone so has no spare money either as they dont have any savings.

DP and I dont have a huge friend circle and those we would be close enough to borrow money from arent able to lend us anything at the moment.

Yes, I could live on beans and pasta for two weeks but my DD can't. Yes, we arent in a great situation financially but we arent going without food and all the bills are covered and, if I havent said it enough already, it's literally only because I am on half pay, which was started after 6 weeks of sickness.

I have also said DP is trying to get extra hours at work but cant at the moment and he is looking for a full time job so again, the situation we are in is temporary. We have budgeted this month but that doesnt change the fact that we dont have spare money. We dont go out drinking or for meals, we dont make any unnecessary purchases or squander our money away, we're just a little short because I'm sick.

I didnt realise I needed to go into so much depth to explain that we cant afford a private scan until we get paid.

Have you been test for h pylori, OP? Sounds similar to those symptoms. Infection of the stomach lining.
I think until you are 100% sure you are pregnant, you are going to have to go to work on the ward and just do your best. Can you start thinking about changing jobs to a safer role?

Sorry to harp on about the finances but half pay or not, do you not have any savings? What would happen if one of you lost your job? Or either of you had to take long term sick leave when you had a a second child? It’s not just about struggling because you’re on half pay, you don’t seem to have any back up at all and that’s a risky situation when you have children.

Could it be fibroids or endometriosis?

IBS is a syndrome, so symptoms can vary wildly. Just because its different to your partner it doesn't mean it's not that.
It doesn't sound like you're pregnant to me to be honest, but if you are, and you've not been TTC since December it will be obvious soon enough.
I hope you feel better soon and you can get back to work