Doctor won't allow an ultrasound

[BuddingBaker]

Not really AIBU but posting for traffic as I don't know what to do and hope anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me some advice.

I've got an 11 month old DD, still breastfeeding 2-3 times a day, sometimes more at night when she's teething and finished maternity leave October last year. DP and I want a second child close in age so were TTC over October, November and the very beginning of December. We stopped when I started feeling ill because urine tests were coming back negative and we don't want to start a pregnancy until I was better. Since the birth, I have had one period in August and cramps but no actual period in September.

So, for the last 12 weeks I have had what I would describe as morning sickness - nausea 24/7, very regular d&v (often waking at 4am to rush to the bathroom) and finding myself suddenly repulsed by a meal in the middle of eating it. In addition to this, I've also had periods of insomnia where I've slept about 2 hours a night for a 3 to 5 days or not even slept at all and I've been having very frequent mood swings, getting very frustrated at the tiniest things which is really not like me - I'm normally a very laid back person and have only ever been like this during my last pregnancy. In the last month or so I've also been finding that I'm am knackered pretty much all the time and it's not because of the baby, thankfully my DP only works 2 nights a week will always insist on taking her to let me get some sleep so I get plenty of rest but even after sleeping 10+ hours I find myself needing a couple naps during the day which again is not like me at all - both before and after DD I used to get about 5 or 6 hours a night and that would be more than enough.

More recently over the last two weeks my boobs have been getting quite tender and I've been feeling flutters or spasms in my belly. My allergies are more sensitive and I cant seem to get comfortable in bed, often waking with backache - both of which I had pretty much throughout my last pregnancy.

The nausea and d&v have been so bad that I've been off work since this started, and I first went to the GP 2 later because it hadn't eased off. First thing they asked was am I pregnant, have I done a test. I told them I'd done a few and all negative so had bloods taken to check hCG levels. Came back as

Your problem isn't that you can't get a scan, it's that your GP isn't working hard enough at finding out what is actually wrong. Have you been physically examined? They'd have felt your uterus if you're 12+ weeks pregnant with number 2, so if you have been physically examined then you're likely not pregnant. Instead of insisting that you're having a medical miracle baby, I'd focus on getting your GP to work out what's wrong with you. Although it sounds like your symptoms are improving, so maybe it's all a storm in a teacup made worse by obsessing - psychosomatic illnesses can be very powerful.

I thought IBS TOO

Also, to be very clear, I have only posted about this one other time about 6 weeks ago, to which I had about 4 replies all saying if bloods were negative it wont be a pregnancy. This was before DP had spoken to his friend causing us to reconsider pregnancy. I have not posted under any other names nor have I posted several times about this. My previous post was titled something along the lines of 'cryptic/stealth pregnancy' and didnt get many responses. If there are other threads similar to mine, it's pure coincidence. Personally I havent seen any. If I had, I probably wouldnt have started a new thread.

You doubt 2 different doctors medical advice and ignore blood and home pregnancy tests but you 100% believe your DP "friend" experience that may or may not be true. You know that your not pregnant but just trying to clutch at straws. I would put my energy into finding out what was wrong with me if I was as sick as you claim to be not chasing false pregnancies.

Pregnancy test

There are a lot of privileged people on here who are very lucky to have never been in such a tight financial situation.
OP and her partner don’t have the money for a private scan, and their families and friends are also in similarly difficult financial situations. They don’t want to beg, which is understandable.
Their financial situation isn’t usually this bad but it is precarious and reliant on neither of them being unwell for any period of time. Millions of people in the UK live like this because there isn’t the political willpower to improve it. Waiting for a magical median wage job before they have another baby isn’t feasible.

nowayorhighway actually lol at ‘money grabbing fetus photographer’. I should put that on my CV 🤣

Thank you to those of you offering advice and support.

At the moment I think IBS is more on the back burner because I don't have the main 4 symptoms- I have had diarrhoea but not for a while - I've gone from 2 or 3 episodes of d&v a day to 3 over the last week but my other symptoms have stayed the same/got worse. I think the nausea can also be a symptom but the doctor isnt sure.

I do agree that the doctor doesnt seem to be trying that hard to find out what's wrong, at the moment she seems content to just recommend looking up symptoms and taking a walk to help with the tiredness until I can get a blood test. I think the last time she examined me was at the beginning of January, definitely over a month ago.

I dont know if it would be caused by anxiety. I'm not anxious or stressed about it as such, more it's just niggling at me because it's been so long but still no closer to an answer. It is a worry but only because of work. I'd hate to get injured and sent to hospital only to find out I'm pregnant and the baby was hurt. I will get a private scan as soon as I can afford it, but that means two weeks at work first with 4 patients who are known to target female staff.

Fullforcegale I absolutely have been in such a tight financial situation before. I certainly wouldn’t have been planning a second baby in that situation.

Not being rude but You do sound extremely stressed and anxious over work. IBS isn’t constant either, it’s symptoms can ease off or disappear and return again and stress can trigger it.
I honestly would think it’s gastro related and ask for a colonoscopy to rule anything else out like bowel cancer.
That or this is a hysterical pregnancy, your doctor would be able to tell now by a physical exam if you was pregnant. The mind can play powerful tricks on the body.

OP, are you able to see a different doctor at the surgery? I ask this as it doesn't sound to me as though the current doctor has done/is doing enough to find out what is causing the symptoms you're having.

Or, if you definitely want to go the private scan route, so you have anything you could sell on EBay/FB marketplace to raise the £40?

Agree the Dr isn’t doing enough to get to the bottom of your symptoms.

Waiting for a magical median wage job before they have another baby isn’t feasible.

It is perfectly feasible to hold off trying to conceive while in such a tough financial position.

Many people would love to have more children but can not afford them and make the difficult decision to put off actively trying to conceive until / unless things change.

Of course unexpected pregnancies are a different thing but it's perfectly feasible to hold off trying to conceive if your financial situation is dire and another baby would put even more strain on it.

I could be wrong but it sounds like OP and her husband stopped TTC when OP got sick, and when OP got sick she wasn't earning as much. So it sounds like OP isn't purposefully trying for a baby when she can't afford it as they've stopped trying because she's sick and can't work. If OP was pregnant and able to be in a safer position at work, I assume they'd be able to afford a baby by the time it would be born?

Do you have an GU Health/STD clinic near you?? They will have a walking in & fast booking service.

I had a big ovarian cancer scare a few years ago & having used the GU clinic for smear tests where I used to live p, as I could never get a GP appointment & found them to be so much better, I went there. I was through the system & scanned the same day & had surgery within 2 weeks for what thankfully turned out to be benign. It would have taken me that long to get a GP appointment. I've always found them so helpful & listen better than most GPS, so I'd highly recommend going their & explaining to them. Good luck

Back to finances again but no, I dont have savings. Normally my parents would be happy to help but with my mum unable to work, they dont have any money spare themselves. We had to use what savings we had to supplement the scarce £145 a week I got for maternity pay and were planning to save again after we got our little girls first christmas out of the way, at which point my pay has been reduced. As for being able to afford a second maternity leave, I will be paid a lot more during maternity if I am pregnant because I will get occupational maternity pay, which is essentially full pay for the majority of maternity leave. I hadn't been working for the NHS long enough to qualify for maternity pay when I had DD. I think I missed it by a couple weeks.

GuineaPigPosie but they were trying for a baby in circumstances where sick leave would mean they were struggling for money... no back up. Not even £40 in savings. I personally wouldn’t be looking to extend multiple family with no provision for maternity leave/sick leave/potential job loss etc.

GuineaPigRosie - Thank you, that's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Let me put it this way;
When I am on normal wages, I have around £700 spare each month and that is our household disposable income. £500 would go to savings and £200 for whatever we need/want for the month. My financial situation is in no way long term, I will be going back to work next week and am on anual leave this week so will have more money next month

Gah all the comments about if you can afford a baby are really annoying me!!

People can live pay day by pay day and still have children and it's none of anyone's business!!!! OP has said enough times that it's the sick pay that's caused this issue. Not everyone has savings!

Oh & I second asking if they've checked you for Heliobacter Pylori infection. It's amazing how often it's missed. Blood test to check for antibodies if you haven't had the infection before, as the stool tests is less reliable. I had this & your symptoms definitely fit, I was left with gastritis & vitamin deficiency as it was left so long before anyone thought to test me for it, which caused me yet more symptoms. If you've only had the stool test & it's a first infection, insist one the blood test.

My sick leave only became half pay after 6 weeks of continuous sickness, and if this sickness is due to pregnancy I would still be paid my full wages. Yes, we were TTC knowing that I am entitled to full sick pay for 6 weeks. I dont know about you but I dont plan for being on long term sickness directly after Christmas. I have already explained about savings, not too sure why I keep having to go over my finances...

Humm..

Difficult this one I think that the OP can be excused the novel its obvioulsy worrying her badley. And shes not the only one on a shoestring budget at this time I've had to bailout my DD2 a bit so its not an ashamed thing.

But there may well be another cause and sometimes two "things" can appear on top of each other that can be very difficuolt to diagnose.

I would have thought that by now if pregnant that the babe would be noticable and moving a bit sorry can't remember now by how much!

DD2 had one of those "piccys of the babe for the album" and that was done by a lady who was ex NHS and appeared to me to know what shes doing But I'd think that you need a scan by a trained experenced person so that IF theres anything there thats not supposed to be there and does or might show up then an expenced scanner operator is well advisable.

I know it sometimes can be a battrle with a GP to get things to happen they have constraints but I'd have thought that by now someone could be a bit more understanding and empathic. Had also the same happen with DD3 recently I wish she could have seen my recently retires lady doc had a lovely nature and bedside manner! insteaed of the two she has seen, younger ones less expecnced.

Shew did have a problem old consultant at the hospitel picked it up!

I was thinking gastritis, which can be caused by an infection, as PPs have suggested, or the stomach lining can become inflamed for other reasons, including stress.

Buddy, ignore the nit pickers. Your finances are none of there business as PP has said. You do not have to explain yourself. Apart from being nasty in there perfect little lives with lots of savings, they are massively out of touch with the poverty we have in this country right now

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