Doctor won't allow an ultrasound

[BuddingBaker]

Not really AIBU but posting for traffic as I don't know what to do and hope anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me some advice.

I've got an 11 month old DD, still breastfeeding 2-3 times a day, sometimes more at night when she's teething and finished maternity leave October last year. DP and I want a second child close in age so were TTC over October, November and the very beginning of December. We stopped when I started feeling ill because urine tests were coming back negative and we don't want to start a pregnancy until I was better. Since the birth, I have had one period in August and cramps but no actual period in September.

So, for the last 12 weeks I have had what I would describe as morning sickness - nausea 24/7, very regular d&v (often waking at 4am to rush to the bathroom) and finding myself suddenly repulsed by a meal in the middle of eating it. In addition to this, I've also had periods of insomnia where I've slept about 2 hours a night for a 3 to 5 days or not even slept at all and I've been having very frequent mood swings, getting very frustrated at the tiniest things which is really not like me - I'm normally a very laid back person and have only ever been like this during my last pregnancy. In the last month or so I've also been finding that I'm am knackered pretty much all the time and it's not because of the baby, thankfully my DP only works 2 nights a week will always insist on taking her to let me get some sleep so I get plenty of rest but even after sleeping 10+ hours I find myself needing a couple naps during the day which again is not like me at all - both before and after DD I used to get about 5 or 6 hours a night and that would be more than enough.

More recently over the last two weeks my boobs have been getting quite tender and I've been feeling flutters or spasms in my belly. My allergies are more sensitive and I cant seem to get comfortable in bed, often waking with backache - both of which I had pretty much throughout my last pregnancy.

The nausea and d&v have been so bad that I've been off work since this started, and I first went to the GP 2 later because it hadn't eased off. First thing they asked was am I pregnant, have I done a test. I told them I'd done a few and all negative so had bloods taken to check hCG levels. Came back as

Sorry, been caught up with all the comments on my financial situation.

I have been tested for Heliobacter Pylori as well as a few other infections, bowel cancer, inflammatory bowel diseases, gluten intolerance and a few other things I cant remember off the top of my head. I've also had general bloods done too. The last time the doctor actually examined me was early January, so probably about 6 weeks after this all started.
I will call the GP surgery tomorrow to book an appointment with a different doctor - the doctor I have been seeing so far has booked my appointments with herself but as I had to speak to her over the phone this week I dont think she's booked one. I'll also ask of they can print a form for the blood test as at the moment it's requested on the survey's electronic system so I have to book the test with them

Where do you find the time with a newborn and all this drama to write such a long tedious essay?

Asking for a friend, 'cos y'know, I barely managed to find time to brush my teeth each day.

I think it will be good for you to see a different doctor, OP. They will hopefully offer a fresh perspective on things.

...and if you have time for all this drama, surely you have time to pee on a stick?

Or am I missing something?

The OP has peed on a stick several times. She has stated this clearly in her post.

If so, ring emergency and say you fear you may be having an ectopic pregancy

This exact kind of attitude is part of the reason why the NHS is on the bones of its arse.

If so, ring emergency and say you fear you may be having an ectopic pregancy

This exact kind of attitude is part of the reason why the NHS is on the bones of its arse.

Sorry for the long post, I know it's a pain to read. I guess this has been going on a long time and is a worry, though I do try not to stress about it too much. 3 months of nausea if you're not pregnant is reasonably serious, and if you are pregnant and cant get it confirmed it's not going to be an easy situation to deal with either.

I have taken a urine test, comes back negative. Waiting until March for another blood test.

I'm hoping a different doctor will help. It has definitely started to feel like the one I have been seeing isnt that bothered about trying to figure out what's wrong. When I spoke to her yesterday she just told me to book a flu jab and take a walk for the tiredness

Sorry people are giving you such a hard time, it's tough when you feel ill and don't know why.

It does seem very unlikely that you are pregnant. With regards to the feeling of 'baby movements', I think a lot of us have had this after having a baby, without it actually being a pregnancy. It does feel very real and I'd never felt it before. I remember my cousin asking me about it, a while after she'd had her first child, as she kept feeling 'movements' when she was sure she wasn't pregnant. I think a previous pregnancy must loosen everything up, along with getting older and more prone to IBS / constipation / other lovely gastric stuff.

If you are well enough to go back to work, hopefully you should have a return to work conversation. I would let them know about your continuing symptoms and ask if it is possible to not work with high risk patients, mainly for your own mental health. If you are in the NHS, hopefully they will at least attempt to help you.

To try to be reassuring, I think it is very unusual for a miscarriage to be caused by anything other than a development problem with the pregnancy, but I know that's not much help.

How have you been tested for bowel cancer and bowel diseases if they haven’t done a colonoscopy or ct scan? Blood and stool tests alone don’t count it out.

I do think it's unlikely to be pregnancy, I have had negative tests but then the hcg was always detected in my bloods. Do you think you could be very anxious now, to the point it's resulting in this sustained period of nausea.

Mlou32 - I certainly agree with you there. Even in mental health we get police bringing drunk people to the emergency units for an assessment because they've said or done something stupid and the police dont want to deal with the paperwork involved with detaining them overnight

Your immediate concern is whether you're pregnant due to work concerns - right?

So your ONLY option is to pay £40 for a private scan. We can go over and over it but that's the single option available. That's it. No great drama or decision making. Yes or no.

Incidentally I agree with other I wouldn't be planning a baby in your circumstances

Credit card? Payday loan? Sell things on FB marketplace? If you genuinely think you could be putting your unborn child at risk then you need to get your hands on £40.

I have had bowel cancer and bowel disease tests and they're all negative, no markers for anything in my general bloods either.

I will speak to work about it but the issue is my manager is pretty rubbish and will take weeks to do anything - he didnt arrange my maternity leave until 12 weeks after he legally had to do it and several of my colleagues have come back off maternity and not been paid for 2 months because he hasnt sent the forms off and told them he had. He the sort of person who will tell you what you want to your face then 'forget' about it for weeks. I have already asked the modern matron (who is in charge of the whole hospital) about it but shes very busy so probably wont get a chance to arrange anything for a while. There is a lower risk ward but my partner works there so I wouldnt be allowed to because the policy states you cant work in the same department as someone you have a significant relationship with (spouse, child, parent, close friend etc) even though we wont be working at the same time. Unfortunately we cant swap so he works on my ward because of the banding system - he is band 2 but on my ward you have to be band 3, and he cant move up a band because theres no available band 3 jobs. It's a real pain because there is no real difference in the bands but they're very strict with the policy and it makes things difficult.

I'd say I am probably reasonably worried, mostly about work but also because it's been 3 months, but not to the point of causing the sickness. Plus when this started I wasnt at all stressed, just quite ill, so I imagine there would be something underlying anyway.

It's a good point about the movements. I am really struggling to tell what I'm feeling and trying not to let them away me too much but it is difficult, especially when pregnancy is probably the best case scenario for me at the moment

Sorry, misread the question regarding bowel cancer tests. It was a 3 part stool test, alongside a few different bloods. It is very unlikely given my age and health etc so I dont think they would look into it any further unless the tests I had gave an indication towards it.

I really dont want to have to go for a loan and DP and I have both had issues in previous relationships with partners borrowing in our names etc. Might have to have a look and see if theres something I can sell.

You need a scan to check for ovarian cancer. Pay for a private one if you raise this with doctor and they still say no.

I think I'm definitely going to bring up ovarian cancer when I next see a doctor. Going to look into it now too

Sorry couldn't rtft I lost all hope about a third of the way down but I think I'd be more pissed if I paid for a private scan only to find out I wasn't Pregnant! Same as had I not have gotten early scans due to previous losses I'd have been gutted paying for a private scan (like I'd intended too, to put my mind at rest) only to find I'd been walking around with my dead baby inside me for 9 weeks. Surely by 12 weeks you wouldn't be feeling movement yet and you said you've had tummy trouble. Gas is the more likely cause to that!! It causes movement and ripples in my tummy and I'm definitely not pregnant even though I have all my previous pregnancy symptoms.

Several posters have mentioned CA125

This is because your symptoms are an exact match. Now as the symptoms are fairly non-specific, then there are other conditions it could be, so I'm not posting this to panic you. But the harsh bottom line is that it's often diagnosed late, when it is harder to treat.

You need to ask your GP explicitly about this. It's less common in young women, but not impossible.

And get on with finding a walk-in bloods clinic. Utterly riculous to leave something which is worrying you for 3 or so weeks for an avoidable reason.

Sorry - thought I'd refreshed thread before posting, and clearly didn't.

Very glad to see you will be getting on to it. When can you be seen?

Look, I don’t understand this. DONT frame it as a possible pregnancy. Frame it as odd cramping, back pain, all the other symptoms you’ve been having. This means you should be having a scan for: fibroids, endometriosis, possible ovarian cancer, etc., never mind pregnancy. I think maybe it’s best to present it to your doctor that way. Don’t mention the P word - just indicate that you think there may be something wrong with your ovaries or uterus.

But you keep reiterating that you have four patients that target female staff and you’re worried a proverbial baby could get harmed. Erm, aren’t YOU worried about being harmed? Psychiatric nursing is one of the most high-stress, disturbing environments for nursing, according to some study I saw umpteen years ago. It makes you worry about things you really don’t need to worry about on a daily basis in some other nursing units and the disturbing things you see can stay in your mind after you’re home. Only you can answer if you’re stressed or scared about going back to work. I know the NHS is considered a good, stable job in comparison to a lot of other options, but it’s not just a hypothetical, unlikely baby that deserves to be safe - so do you. I’m not saying to give up your job, but just that if this IS work anxiety, you need to deal with it, and that’s tough.

But the harsh bottom line is that it's often diagnosed late, when it is harder to treat.

This is very true. It's known as the silent killer because the symptoms can be so vague and can be easily put down to tiredness, stress, IBS, etc

Can you go into an overdraft or something? I would not usually recommend that at all, but I think if you have a private scan and can eliminate pregnancy, it might give you more confidence to push the doctor's for a diagnosis rather than subconsciously pinning it on being pregnant.

I agree with the PP who says to reframe this. If I was your GP and I'd done every test for pregnancy except a scan and yet you kept insisting you were pregnant I'd immediately start to worry about your MH. If they put it down to that you might miss out on tests that might actually be helpful

I felt really sick for over 3 months once, it was a virus and passed eventually.