Doctor won't allow an ultrasound

[BuddingBaker]

Not really AIBU but posting for traffic as I don't know what to do and hope anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me some advice.

I've got an 11 month old DD, still breastfeeding 2-3 times a day, sometimes more at night when she's teething and finished maternity leave October last year. DP and I want a second child close in age so were TTC over October, November and the very beginning of December. We stopped when I started feeling ill because urine tests were coming back negative and we don't want to start a pregnancy until I was better. Since the birth, I have had one period in August and cramps but no actual period in September.

So, for the last 12 weeks I have had what I would describe as morning sickness - nausea 24/7, very regular d&v (often waking at 4am to rush to the bathroom) and finding myself suddenly repulsed by a meal in the middle of eating it. In addition to this, I've also had periods of insomnia where I've slept about 2 hours a night for a 3 to 5 days or not even slept at all and I've been having very frequent mood swings, getting very frustrated at the tiniest things which is really not like me - I'm normally a very laid back person and have only ever been like this during my last pregnancy. In the last month or so I've also been finding that I'm am knackered pretty much all the time and it's not because of the baby, thankfully my DP only works 2 nights a week will always insist on taking her to let me get some sleep so I get plenty of rest but even after sleeping 10+ hours I find myself needing a couple naps during the day which again is not like me at all - both before and after DD I used to get about 5 or 6 hours a night and that would be more than enough.

More recently over the last two weeks my boobs have been getting quite tender and I've been feeling flutters or spasms in my belly. My allergies are more sensitive and I cant seem to get comfortable in bed, often waking with backache - both of which I had pretty much throughout my last pregnancy.

The nausea and d&v have been so bad that I've been off work since this started, and I first went to the GP 2 later because it hadn't eased off. First thing they asked was am I pregnant, have I done a test. I told them I'd done a few and all negative so had bloods taken to check hCG levels. Came back as

Then ask your mum and dad, his folks, your friends, the lady next door, sell your boots, whatever it takes and get the damn private scan. Ffs, you think you may be about to put an unborn child at risk but are dithering over 40?!

Why on earth are you even thinking about a second child when you have no money and can’t even afford a £40 scan. have you no savings?

If you are not pregnant then stop being so irresponsible trying to bring a child into the world when you’ve no money to even look after your basic health

This I'm afraid, if you can't scrape £40 together and we're not even halfway through the month, then a second child right now is completely unaffordable.

Just to be clear, the reason I cant afford a scan is because I am only being paid half my regular wage.

Surely maternity pay is just as bad? Extra childcare costs too.

The doctor won't send you for a scan for reassurance purposes. That's not what the service is for. It would cost the nhs millions on wasted funds if it happened. As others have said book a private scan. There are a lot of other possible illnesses that can cause tout symptoms other than being pregnant.

IBS varies massively between patients and I mean massively, rarely do two patients compare. I've known someone go through labour thinking she was "just" having an IBS flare - her baby nearly died (big strapping teen now running her ragged!) and finally it meant that hospital started taking it a lot more seriously. I get spasms that can be seen when I lie down. My diet makes no difference at all to my symptoms and being a member of IBS network and speaking to their specialist nurse that can indeed be the case, mine doesn't even respond logically to stress - sometimes it's horrendous d&v other times it's horrendous constipation.

Periods can be effected by hormones and if you've been ill/worried that can impact too.

The other thing is phantom pregnancy which I've been through myself.

The chances of the blood test being wrong are extremely small - honestly you can find pretty much the answer to anything you want online.

You need to speak to your manager when you return to work - emotional and physical stress can be a trigger for IBS problems.

They aren't realistically going to give you a scan. You need to fund one and speak to your manager.

Well given your financial woes and lack of support, let's hope you aren't pregnant!!

Why isn't your DP full time??????

@zigzagbetty

Did you not read the OP?!

Very good point from a PP- the length of time this saga has been going on, if you were pregnant then your GP would easily be able to tell by feeling your tummy at this point.

Yeah you can’t afford another child!

If you’re struggling to afford £40 for a scan and don’t have any support then maybe a second child isn’t a great idea... if a blood test came back negative I would imagine your not. It could be a hysterical pregnancy.

Oh come on, op. I’m really sorry you’ve had such horrible symptoms for ages, but surely you know it’s very unlikely you’re pg?

I’d sell something - anything - to pay for a private Scan, though, to set your mind at rest, then you will know one way or the other, then you can can move in. Or put the scan on a credit card.

I hope you get some answers soon OP but I have to echo what pp have said. You can't afford another child if you can't afford £40 for a scan.

Gallbladder trouble gave me all the sickness symptoms including IBS ones.

Ok. You just have to wait then until you get an appointment. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well... you'll just have to wait then? You're not going to be sent for an antenatal scan with negative urine and blood tests, in the same way the NHS doesn't offer 6/7 week reassurance scans without a miscarriage history.

Why does your DP only work part time?

Also, can't you ask a family member to pay for the scan for you?

Why is everyone being so horrible?! Jfc.

Either you're super concerned about going back to work on the ward or you're not.
If you are, then you re-budget for the month or you borrow £20 from your family and £20 from your DP's family. And you book a scan before you go back to work.
You can't make a GP book an ultrasound when there's no medical basis for it. Something that happened to someone else or something that you read on the internet isn't enough for the NHS.
Have you ruled out an ulcer? I had very similar symptoms and it was an ulcer.

Ffs OP what was that first post!!!!!!! Good lord I bet you could talk the hind legs off a donkey. Ever heard of being concise?

Who is being horrible?
If your financial position is so precarious that a couple of months of sickness means that you don’t even have £40 to spare, it’s really not wise to have another child.

Thyroid check?

Without wanting to sound rude, how can you afford to go back onto maternity pay if you’re unable to find £40 for a private scan and you’ll have 2 children when you’re struggling with one..?

I wouldn't psy for a private scan because aren't most of them the 'get a cute picture' scans rather than with a medically trained person in case there is a problem?

If I'm wrong then yes, private scan but if not the go to the early pregnancy assessment unit - I think you can self refer?

And I agree, if you can’t afford a £40 scan to check if you’re pregnant, it would be for the best if you weren’t pregnant.

Who is being horrible?