Doctor won't allow an ultrasound

[BuddingBaker]

Not really AIBU but posting for traffic as I don't know what to do and hope anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me some advice.

I've got an 11 month old DD, still breastfeeding 2-3 times a day, sometimes more at night when she's teething and finished maternity leave October last year. DP and I want a second child close in age so were TTC over October, November and the very beginning of December. We stopped when I started feeling ill because urine tests were coming back negative and we don't want to start a pregnancy until I was better. Since the birth, I have had one period in August and cramps but no actual period in September.

So, for the last 12 weeks I have had what I would describe as morning sickness - nausea 24/7, very regular d&v (often waking at 4am to rush to the bathroom) and finding myself suddenly repulsed by a meal in the middle of eating it. In addition to this, I've also had periods of insomnia where I've slept about 2 hours a night for a 3 to 5 days or not even slept at all and I've been having very frequent mood swings, getting very frustrated at the tiniest things which is really not like me - I'm normally a very laid back person and have only ever been like this during my last pregnancy. In the last month or so I've also been finding that I'm am knackered pretty much all the time and it's not because of the baby, thankfully my DP only works 2 nights a week will always insist on taking her to let me get some sleep so I get plenty of rest but even after sleeping 10+ hours I find myself needing a couple naps during the day which again is not like me at all - both before and after DD I used to get about 5 or 6 hours a night and that would be more than enough.

More recently over the last two weeks my boobs have been getting quite tender and I've been feeling flutters or spasms in my belly. My allergies are more sensitive and I cant seem to get comfortable in bed, often waking with backache - both of which I had pretty much throughout my last pregnancy.

The nausea and d&v have been so bad that I've been off work since this started, and I first went to the GP 2 later because it hadn't eased off. First thing they asked was am I pregnant, have I done a test. I told them I'd done a few and all negative so had bloods taken to check hCG levels. Came back as

Why is that OP so long?!

Surely you gave 39 friends willing to chip in a quid? Crowd fund

Private scan

Cancel the cheque

As everyone else has said above, the solution is very simple. Private Scan. I had one (an internal US) when I was 7 weeks pregnant that clearly showed the sac, heartbeat, etc. Only cost about £40 on groupon.

Good luck, I hope you get a diagnosis soon x

If you can’t afford a private scan at around £50, can you really afford another baby?

And this tbh

I'm with everyone else. If you are this stressed out and fixated on the possibility then put it on a credit card or borrow the cash from a friend or family member. Or get the potential dad to pay. It doesn't have to come out of your half-pay wage.

DP has IBS and whatever's going on with me is nothing like it. Of course, that's not to say I couldn't have IBS but I have followed the doctors advice and looked it up. At the moment I'm just constantly feeling sick and have a very sensitive gag reflex, the d&v has eased off a lot, so it doesnt seem to fit with the information on the patient info site. DP finds his gets worse or better depending on diet so I've tried going without dairy, caffeine and gluten and it hasnt made a difference. The doctor isnt looking into IBS at the moment, they were more concerned about me getting a flu jab and taking a walk.

I have taken a urine test this week and my last blood test was 2 months ago. I am trying to get one sooner but at the moment there aren't any available until March.

I would love to go for a private scan but I havent been able to afford it this month and wont until I get paid on the 28th. I've already checked and they're £40 at my local clinic but I'm on reduced wages so wont know if I can afford it until I get paid. I've got £80 for food for the next two weeks and that's it. We didn't consider a scan until DPs friend mentioned it.

My main concern is around work. I cant confirm that I'm not pregnant for a few weeks but I have to go back to work next week and the patients on the ward at the moment are high risk of violence, particularly with female staff. I've been punched and kicked before and unfortunately it's very much part of the job.

Tiredness, backache, and loss of appetite/unable to eat a full meal. Any bloating?

Personally I'd be asking the GP for a CA125 blood test to rule out ovarian cancer.

Agree. CA125 is indicative, not diagnostic, and a problem really gynae once-over to exclude (one hopes) cancer wouid include a scan. But that wouldn't that be arranged by the hospital clinic rather than GP?

If you can’t afford a private scan I’d probably rethink a second child.

There will be a blood clinic at your local hospital. Ring the hospital and find out the times. Failing this, Can the doctors/nurses not bleed you at your work place?

You need a private scan to prove to yourself your not pregnant, imho you’ve convinced yourself you are.

Has anyone suggested a private scan yet?

I would find a way to pay for a private scan.

Private scan

Cancel the cheque

Yeah, OK, OP did talk about private scans already, but in my defense, it was near the end of War and Peace, so PP, including myself, may well have missed it. A'int nobody got time for that!

It's 40 quid. If it's bad enough for the longest OP in the world ever I'd eat beans and pasta for 2 weeks.

Private scan is the best option, you’ll be able to book one within a few days and if it’s a phantom pregnancy perhaps seeing there’s nothing there could help with the symptoms.

Cryptic pregnancies or atleast true cryptic pregnancies are extremely rare. Especially when multiple blood tests are involved. They’re usually people who bled at regular intervals through pregnancy and didn’t have more than a sucky tummy for a few days. And everyone’s heard of the i never knew to the head was out woman but you rarely hear a name.

I would love to go for a private scan but I havent been able to afford it this month and wont until I get paid on the 28th. I've already checked and they're £40 at my local clinic but I'm on reduced wages so wont know if I can afford it until I get paid. I've got £80 for food for the next two weeks and that’s it

Why on earth are you even thinking about a second child when you have no money and can’t even afford a £40 scan. have you no savings?

If you are not pregnant then stop being so irresponsible trying to bring a child into the world when you’ve no money to even look after your basic health

You aren’t pregnant. Saved you some cash!

I wouldn't normally advocate getting into debt, but if you have a credit card pay for the scan on that - better still if you have a 0% on purchases.

If your blood test came back negative then you weren’t pregnant - your husband’s mate is maybe a little confused. The GP can’t refer for a scan, they aren’t allowed too, the nhs is at capacity with people who need scans. Could it be that you have become pregnant since the last blood test/urine dip? Could it be that your anxiety is feeding your gastrointestinal symptoms? Has your GP felt your abdomen? They would be able to feel your uterus if you were so far along. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, I can see that it must be distressing, I would personally just pay for a private scan as you’re not going to settle until you see it.

Do you want me to PayPal you the money for a scan???

Honest question op, how come you cant tell your boss you might be pregnant or are awaiting test results so you can't work on that particular ward? Surely they will safeguard you and put you somewhere else temporarily. Otherwise that sounds a mad work system of you might have an illness that prevents you doing that work but until you have a proper diagnosis you still have to work there?

Periods are often disrupted because of breastfeeding.
Has your iron and b12 been checked?

I have those symptoms. I am not pregnant nor is there a chance. It's basically complications of severe constipation.

The thing is, if youve been through 12 weeks of symptoms you're more than 3 months, and with a second child you'd be pretty much showing by now. I think no positive urine or blood tests plus no bump would be almost impossibly rare.

@BecauseReasons oh I know. I didn't make it to the end tbh.

Just to be clear, the reason I cant afford a scan is because I am only being paid half my regular wage. I live with my DP and he pays the rent and most of the bills and that takes up pretty much all his wages because he works part time. He's been trying to take on extra shifts but hasnt had much luck so after I've paid my smaller contribution to the bills and for food, we have next to no money.
Neither of us have a huge friend circle and the friends and family we do have arent in a position to lend us money for various reasons.

I know a private scan isnt expensive, normally we'd easily be able to pay for it, but unfortunately we just cant afford it right now.