Pre-empting no gift tomorrow.

[Orgasmrendition]

Every year I buy my 'D'H birthday presents, christmas presents, fathers day present, valentines present. Something specific for him that I have actually put some thought into.

Every year I get nothing in return and promise myself that next year he can have bugger all as well. On occasion he feels bad and I get a late gift of something grabbed off a shelf with no thought put into it.

We have spoken about it, how I'm not asking him to spend hundreds on me, but just a small, thoughtful gift would be nice, to feel appreciated. Doesn't even have to be a gift, I'd be happy with him doing the housework and giving me a night off from cooking dinner and doing the dishes.

Yet, its 13th February and I have bought him something. Not much because things are tight but a card and a box of his favourite chocolate (which I don't like and he knows so it's a gift purely for him and ones that we cant afford to buy often)

Would I be unreasonable to give him until tomorrow evening (because every occasion I still have that little bit of hope) and then unwrap each and every chocolate, throw it away, and just give him the empty box of wrappers??

Its hallmark day what is the issue?

Stop wasting your money. And scoff the chocolates yourself.

Ironically I am doing something for valentine's Day tomorrow. I've stocked up on tat from the poundshop and will be decorating the fireplace and have bought dp a huge, tacky OTT card.

This is to keep him on his toes because he'll walk in and start flapping, we haven't bothered for years. it's for my own amusement and more as a joke 😂😂😂 Valentine's day is a massive scam. It can be fun but really they just want our money. 💁🏻‍♀️

These threads appear every year.

You're feeling unappreciated. Have a conversation about that, don't play silly games.

He knows you'd like a gift and he doesn't care that he's upsetting you, that needs talking about.

Do adults who have been in relationships for a long time still exchange valentines?

It’s just a day! Honestly. He doesn’t care for it - not he doesn’t care about you! My husband used to buy me chocolates the day after - they slash the price by half so I get double! Ha ha

How long have you been together and has he ever bought you a gift on any occasion?

You’ve got to start putting your foot down.

WhatsApp him links to what you want. Just force it. He’s never gonna be the man you want so get compensation!

If he doesn’t buy you anything take his bank card and do some online shopping for yourself.

Sorry OP, but not sure why you keep buying gifts! Stop!
Valentine’s Day I wouldn’t be worked up about. But I think no gifts at birthdays/Christmas is a bigger deal.
What does he say when you ask him about it?

Er, don't throw the chocs away?! What are you thinking?!

Also, do you not talk to your husband? If this is thr way you feel, let him know

YANBU - I haven’t bothered this year for the first time ever after too many years giving & not receiving. I decided to spend the money on a giant toblerone which I will be eating sneakily in the kitchen on my own. He probably won’t even notice he doesn’t have a card. Too late to worry about it now!

Why did you bother to buy anything knowing you won’t get anything in return? You’re setting yourself up for failure here

Don't throw the chocolates away, that's really wasteful. Give them to someone who'll appreciate them - a neighbour, the local postman, your child's teacher, a lollipop lady, the receptionist at your GPs, just anyone else.

If he doesn’t buy you anything take his bank card and do some online shopping for yourself.

I hope to fuck that wasn't serious advice.

I'd definitely do that OP!

YABU only because you keep giving him things. What does he say when you ask him what he's getting you for Valentines, birthday, Mother's Day etc?

Every year these threads pop up. If he is an inconsiderate person who makes no effort for birthdays, Christmas or any event, why are you with him? And why wait for the most pointless event of the year to make a point?

I don't know why you think he's going to bother with valentine's Day (a nonsense event) when he doesn't bother with actual events like your birthday. You've told him it hurts you yet he continues to behave in the same way, he's clearly not going to change what he does. You can't control that, what can you control in this situation? I'd be thinking about whether I wanted to be with someone who consciously repeatedly does something he knows will upset me, for no reason other than he can't be bothered or thinks your feelings on the matter have no value. At the very least stop buying him bloody presents.

We don’t do Valentines. If I saw a funny card I’d get it but it’s rare to find one that means something to us. We’ll jokingly wish each other a happy Valentine’s Day with a kiss on waking but that’s it. Then again DH always buys me a nice birthday and Christmas present. He’s not overly romantic, rarely buying flowers etc but that’s not my currency.

I can’t understand grown adults getting upset about this kind of thing

Sorry didnt read the whoole post- dont throw the chocolates, sacrilege, eat them yourself!

Ha ha!!do it op!😀

We don't do Valentines but I can understand otherwise.

I always make an effort for birthdays. For DC and DH there are cards, a few little presents to open in the morning, pancakes for breakfast and sometimes balloons.

For the past few years DH has got me nothing. Not even a card.

So this year I got DH just a card (yesterday) and didn't remind the DC. He was shocked that we hadn't got him anything. Maybe it'll make him think. We'll see on my next birthday!

I’m more concerned that it sounds like he doesn’t take his turn of cooking and washing up!

It sounds like you’re being massively taken for granted.

You need to talk

Sit down together and share the chocolates.

I have got a m and s meal deal for tomorrow but only because it worked out well and I can’t be arsed cooking. I’m not expecting anything but I don’t do valentines anyway