to not let daughter do cheerleading?

[undercoverfunster]

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

OP I am glad you were not my mum.
At your daughter’s age I did ballet, modern dance, street, and musical theatre.

I just want to re-iterate that she has done ALL of the above but lasted a term at most because she didn't like them. Not long term anyway. We've never said no to any activity either child wanted to do - yet - despite having to fork out for them, buy equipment etc.

DD (also 8) is encouraged to have a go at whatever she wants to. She's tried rugby, football, athletics, swimming, cricket, hockey, netball, dance, tap, syncho swimming, competitive swimming, gymnastics, cross country running and many others. Some stick, some don't but as far as I'm concerned she can have a go at whatever she likes! I'd not bat an eyelid if she wanted to try cheer.

I think all the posters insisting that "cheer" has nothing to do with "cheerleading" are deluding themselves. It's like saying that competitive ballroom dance has absolutely nothing to do with waltzing at a ball in Vienna. I mean, yes, clearly as sports both ballroom and cheer have developed their own rules which don't apply to ballroom dancing and cheerleading "in the wild" but to suggest that they are completely unconnected is ridiculous.

What schedules have to be rearranged to fit around a one hour a week school club ? If you’re really that scheduled then just tell her that you can’t work it in and she’ll have to give it a miss this term. No big deal and you don’t have to go into massive detail about how you think it’s anti feminist blah blah blah with her.

But I’m not supporting anything sexualised like cheer leading

There's nothing sexualised about the cheer my DD does I can assure you. They train in leggings and t shirts...no cheerleading outfits, no pom poms and no concept they're even cheering for a sports team. It's dance and gymnastics essentially.

You’d be naive to think that females in other sports are not criticized on their body type either. Yes you might think great, football, no one cares what you look like, but you’d be wrong - fitness comes with certain body types and there can be a bit of an unspoken thing in women’s football re being ‘out of shape’ etc

So if you’ve never said no to an activity, why are you wanting to say no now?
She’s 8. It’s just another opportunity to try something.
So what if the driver is social reasons? If she drops it after a term, even the understanding of what some of the others are doing in it, helps socially - knowing what they do, what they like.
Just book her on - it’s not going to cost you in specialist equipment.

I'm happy to admit my prejudice against cheerleading, that'a why I'm here!
But your position is ill-informed.

She's tried other dance based activities and got bored. Why shouldn't she try cheer and then decide either way.

I did cheer, gymnastics and dance as a child. I also did football and rugby, but went off rugby and tried athletics later. I liked the overlap between gymnastics and cheer, but they are both sports where to start with it feels very slow going (eg jumps and balances, movement and flexibility).
It doesn't do any harm to try things out, preferably without a parent making it abundantly clear they don't approve of a sport they know almost nothing about.

We are that scheduled - we both work and we have 2 kids playing sports/doing activities PLUS one of them is playing a sport at a level considered a first step to a professional/national team eventually.

I would bloody LOVE it it she was into something indoors like dance or gymnastics instead of spending half our lives on a freezing football pitch or tennis court!

I knew you would have lots of people telling you it's a sport in itself etc but I would have difficulty with this too. I think your options are let her have a go but hope it bores her too before long, or say no and talk about why. Her busy schedule with other sports would tip me towards the latter. And I'd also be talking about strategies to deal with the cool girls too. Your daughter sounds way cooler anyway!

OP, I think cheerleading is stupid and sexist, but I'd let her do it if she wants to. It should be her decision. It's not like she's wanting to become a cocaine dealer 😉

@mauvaisereputation my daughter’s friend has done Cheer competitively since she was about 6. It was only when my daughter started watching American pre-teen films that she said “oh, THAT is why it’s called cheer!”. She’d no more analysed the word cheer than she had the word gymnastics - it was just what it was called. Culturally for her, a 10yo in the UK, cheer is about acrobatics and competitions in its own right. Never about cheering lamely at the side of the boys’ sports pitch!

If you can easily fit it into your schedule I would let her join and hope she gets bored quickly like she has with gym and dance. The core strength and control will compliment her Footie.

I agree you need to also deal with the social side, seems like Queen Bee behaviour could be going on

It's like saying that competitive ballroom dance has absolutely nothing to do with waltzing at a ball in Vienna

Well those are two very different things. Sure, they share roots, but the experience of doing each are far apart.

Same as the cheer examples.

Stuff changes and evolves

Given both the other, related activities she hasn’t liked and the fact she wants to do it for reasons that are unlikely to be successful and unlikely to maintain her interest, YANBU. Also, given her prowess in other sports I think aa (what sounds like probably) faffy club at primary is not the sort of environment for her anyway.

If in a few years time she comes to you wanting to pursue cheerleading because she’s seen some incredible stuff on youtube that she wants to emulate and there’s a decent competitive club nearby then you might need to rethink.

Tell her that you can’t fit it in then. If they’re that good at a specific sport then they shouldn’t be massively invested in other activities tbh. You don’t need to make a song and dance about it not being ‘worth’ it to do this club. Tell her that if she wants to do a sport to such a high level she has to be dedicated.

My cousin did gymnastics at a national level and trained every day except one. You can bet on that one day off she didn’t do an after school activity, she was at home stretching and catching up on school work.

You just sound snobby imo. Why can't your daughter just do what makes HER happy?

She can always take it up later in life if she’s still interstate in it. . My DS joined an American football team at uni and loves it as do the girls who have become cheerleaders. I’ve watched the matches online and looks like they’re all having great fun.

I knew you would have lots of people telling you it's a sport in itself etc
Sadly that's because as with any thread like this there's loads of people who've never done a sport, have no first hand experience of a sport and evidently almost zero understanding of a sport getting het up (which only shows their lack of knowledge).

It makes perfect sense for someone to say, having looked at All Star routines that they have concerns about the stunting elements, or they'd be happy for DC to be a tumbler but they aren't happy allowing their child to be a flier/top girl.
Or to look at the strength and conditioning side and worry that might demand too much if their child, for example, has hypermobility.

But to decide, as some clearly have here, that it's all pom poms, cheering the boys on, you can't argue cheer as a competitive sport is different from NFL style cheer, etc shows ignorance.

I was prejudice as well Op. Im a great believer in letting children choose Thier own sports and hobbies so went along with. It's a brilliant sport. It's elements of tumble gymnastics, strength and dance is great exercise. Most unis have a cheer team that compete within their division. They do not cheer on teams but compete at national venues.Look at UK cheer teams on YouTube. See if you have a city/town team and let her have a session there. Most teams have boys/men in thier teams too.
The difference between pom pom cheer and the more athletic cheer is the term Allstars.

Cheerleading causes more serious injuries than all other girls' sports combined.

I wouldn't let a daughter do it even if she had elite potential. No way, no how. I know a girl who will never be the same after her spinal injury.

OP You have a LOT of people telling you that YABU and that cheerleading is not shite and does not send the wrong message to girls.

What more do you think you will get out of this thread?

OP You have a LOT of people telling you that YABU and that cheerleading is not shite and does not send the wrong message to girls.

Given so many of them also tell her she’s doing or done things she’s explicitly said she hasn’t, maybe OP is ignoring those in reassessing her thinking and concentrating on the ones that seem to engage with her argument, for or against.

WombOfOnesOwn
Tumbling for cheer nearly gave me shin splints in a way that gymnastics tumbling on a sprung floor didn't.

Some elite routines are amazing, but like you I think the risk for fliers is too high when top teams keep pushing it.

Just let her be who she wants to be