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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let daughter do cheerleading?

464 replies

undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 13:41

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

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SallyOMalley · 13/02/2020 14:54

My dd has done all-star cheerleading at primary school. For her class, It's basically just dancing with a couple of cartwheels thrown in. No short skirts, just wearing leggings and a t shirt. Oh and there are a couple of boys doing it .

She also goes to a rugby session - both are through school.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 14:56

'You just sound snobby imo.Why can't your daughter just do what makes HER happy?'
OMG, I can't tell you how WC I actually am! I just have very strong opinions on sexism, not all of them well founded I'm happy to admit.

I do think the other stuff makes her happy, and I worry she wants to do this for all the wrong reason but perhaps 8 is old enough to start making your own mistakes. I don't think she'll be welcomed into 'cheer' with open arms, I think they'll still exclude her from their little gang but you can't protect your kids from everything I suppose.
She has great friends already otherwise - I might chuck her into 'cheer' and let her find that out for herself.

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ThePlantsitter · 13/02/2020 14:58

Honestly you should try everything once. Even Morris Dancing imo.

SunshineAngel · 13/02/2020 14:59

Ah come on, it can be fun, and a good way of making new friends.

finallyahappygirl · 13/02/2020 15:00

My daughter attends cheerleading club once a week at school just for fun! No cheering on a team just learning fun routines. Let her do it!

bellinisurge · 13/02/2020 15:01

It's a sport. Boys do it as well. It's fun with competition as part of it. Dd doesn't do it anymore but she did it with primary school. At no point were they actually cheering on a team. They were the team.

JacquesHammer · 13/02/2020 15:01

YANBU to limit activities because of a busy schedule.

YABU to refuse a particular activity because of your prejudice against it.

I mean you could go along the lines of "we can't fit in any more activities", but of course you'd then have to carry that on whatever else she asks to do.

separatebeds · 13/02/2020 15:02

Let her go along when she can fit it in. Make nothing of it and she will more than likely give up.

blueheaven97 · 13/02/2020 15:04

I don't really understand what's sexist about it. It's traditionally done by girls, but anyone who wants to do it can do it. Just like football has often been seen as a boy's sport but anyone who wants to play it can play it. Jeez, just let her be a kid. She's only 8. If she wants to do it, let her do it. At least she's active - it could be a lot worse.

CaveMum · 13/02/2020 15:05

My 5yo DD attends a cheerleading class, we can’t make the “routine” class where they do, we, routines but she attends the “skills” class which for her age group is learning cartwheels, handstands, etc. Next year she’s going to join the “tumble” class.

Honestly, watch “Cheer” on Netflix - you’ll have a new found admiration for what those athletes do.

Cremebrule · 13/02/2020 15:09

To be honest if she didn’t like gym or dance she probably won’t like cheer so as long as it’s not too expensive, I’d just let her have a go. But, if they are doing gymnastics type stunts I’d want to check the background of the teacher. I’m not convinced that all of the acro type classes near me are taught by gymnastics qualified coaches, especially the dance school ones taught in random village halls.

Cheeseandwin5 · 13/02/2020 15:11

Part of being a strong independent female, which is what I assume you want your daughter to be is, is having the strength of character to choose activities, because you want to do them and not because outside force / attitude whats to pigeon hole into a certain box.
Unfortunately you have become that outside force and you will only make your daughter poorer if you try to force her to do things that you think are best.
Can you not speak to the school about having a football team if they cant afford a boys and girls team? I think this is the battle you should be taking rather than trying to make your daughter unhappy.

BackInTime · 13/02/2020 15:13

I think you are overthinking it. Let her try it, chances are if she didn't like gymnastics or dance she would not enjoy it anyway as it's mostly this. It's probably the current fad at school and she just wants to join in. Sometimes it's better for them to find out for themselves what they like and then you are not the bad guy for saying no.

RandomMess · 13/02/2020 15:13

Why doesn't the school have a Footie team, they usually compete co-Ed at primary school?

woodchuck99 · 13/02/2020 15:13

It's a sport nowadays .They don't jump around and wave pom-poms while the boys do the sports anymore. I think you have to be good at gymnastics though. I would be more bothered about the chance of injury especially if she is light and is one of the ones who is thrown around.

dustibooks · 13/02/2020 15:16

There were boys in my dd's school's team. They had to use the rugby players as only they were strong enough to stand at the bottom of the pyramids and hold everyone else's weight. They also used to have great fun throwing people around in the air.

It is very much NOT 'just for girls'.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 13/02/2020 15:16

The commas were for her perception... I play NETBALL. She likes to charge around and is very physical so standing still with a ball versus constantly moving around wasn't for her

If you play netball you surely know it doesn't involve much "standing still with a ball". Some netball matches my DD has played in have been faster paced than some of her football matches.

And while I wish your DD all the luck at professional football, you'd do well do realise the majority of children picked for county or feeder clubs at the age of 8 may be more skilled than others their age right now but give it a few more years and she might not stand out quite so much. I'm not saying that to be negative, just as a warning not to get too excited!

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 15:19

'Can you not speak to the school about having a football team if they cant afford a boys and girls team? I think this is the battle you should be taking rather than trying to make your daughter unhappy.'

nowt to do with affordability, they have girls football, just not a team. They keep trying to cancel girls football because of low numbers, I and some other parents have protested so it stays for now. Not enough girls want to do it. There's a boys football club for each school year.
Cheer club is packed - all girls.

She only mentioned wanting to do cheer this morning, so I haven't had the chance to make her 'unhappy'. Yet.
Still you think she'd be happy-ish with the amount of time, effort and money her parents spend taking her to the current sports that she really seem to enjoy Wink

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Chillicheese123 · 13/02/2020 15:20

@sparepantsandtoothbrush you’re so right. Almost all kids chosen at 8 will be dropped by 15/16. It’s a nice way to develop as a sportsperson and a human, but not worth making it a kids whole identity.

FromEden · 13/02/2020 15:22

It's not sexist. Its just dance/gymnastics and boys do it too.

grisen · 13/02/2020 15:23

@undercoverfunster you didn't read my full post then. Because I said that I wanted to do NFL cheer at her age.
But I am glad you weren't my mum because my parents supported me through wanting to do that or dance at the moulin rouge.

My post wasn't aimed at weather you let her try them or not. But to tell you that dancers go NFL and cheerleaders do all stars cheer.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 15:24

'And while I wish your DD all the luck at professional football, you'd do well do realise the majority of children picked for county or feeder clubs at the age of 8 may be more skilled than others their age right now but give it a few more years and she might not stand out quite so much. I'm not saying that to be negative, just as a warning not to get too excited!'

Oddly enough, we don't actually want a professional footballer in the family! I was hoping scientist, teacher that kind of thing... one that has a sport that she loves that follows her through life, so wherever she goes she has a sport to play and creates a social grp for her, keeps her fit. Gets her through the awkward teen years. If it's football it's football. Maybe it'll be tennis, or yoga, or netball. I suppose there's an outside chance that she'll be 'cheerleading' on a Sunday afternoon when she's a grandma, who knows...

What it is doing is giving her tons of opportunities right now that interest her, and that we couldn't afford otherwise.

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grisen · 13/02/2020 15:25

Also @undercoverfunster as a child let alone at 8 I had no idea about how much " the amount of time, effort and money her parents spend taking her to the current sports" I just enjoyed the sports.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 15:26

Don't even like football, baseball & netball are my sport...

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Ellisandra · 13/02/2020 15:30

You don’t come across well by putting ‘cheerleading’ as a grandma on a Sunday afternoon. It doesn’t need your dismissive punctuation. If she could be doing yoga as a grandma, why couldn’t she be doing routines based on the stretching, strength and conditioning that have been part of her cheer classes?

If you wouldn’t say ‘netball’ don’t say ‘cheerleading’.