to not let daughter do cheerleading?

[undercoverfunster]

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

OP
NFL cheer isn't competition cheer.
Why don't you just acknowledge you don't know that much about cheer as a sports discipline in its own right (All Star) and own the fact you're making decisions and judgements with limited awareness of the sport.

Cheer as a sport is co-ed and blends dance, gymnastics, tumbling and stunting. People have said this and yet you're still arguing about cheering for football teams and sexism

Ooh saw she didn't like dance or gymnastics - I'd be extra hesitant about trying cheer then.

I think it's the idea that another activity might tip her over the edge as football is 4 x a week then the other stuff. And I KNOW it's to get in with the girls as she told me! ( an open book that one) but maybe I am just letting my prejudice get the better of me as I hated dancey stuff when I was a kid but was forced along into it with my sisters.

I went to the London Olympics, the entertainment between volleyball matches was cheerleading, it was more of an acrobatic display.

Oh and it's probably going to be an olympic sport soon.

I do think it is unfortunate they have used the name cheerleading, if it was 'team gymnastics' or 'acrobatic display' it would probably be more popular.

Nothing about my dds cheer classes has anything to do with cheering on a sports team.

I would let her do it and wouldn’t overthink it. I don’t think we are sacrificing our DDs to the patriarchy by doing this.

My DD is now in her teens and playing football at a decent club level. When she was nine she wanted to do cheerleading. We let her do it, she enjoyed it but grew out of it and stopped after a year. It felt pretty harmless.

The NFL isn’t anything like competitive cheerleading at college/university.
I did it- we were a co-Ed squad and the routines were all stunts and gymnastics with some dance sections. We did not cheer for other teams, there were no pom-poms and we won national championships my final year. Tbh this primary school club doesn’t sound great, if she really has an interest in proper cheerleading she’d be better off taking up gymnastics, but if she really wants to do it then I don’t see the harm. And amazing that she’s doing so well at football - you clearly have a very talented daughter!

Part of the problem is the mentality that’s encouraged by sports that have girls wearing tight leotards, tutus and the like. It’s difficult to avoid body consciousness while wearing bodycon...
(I know lots of gym clubs etc don’t require leotards but almost all of the dance and gym classes I’ve seen locally do, inc for primary age).

Gymnastics, ballet, tap, dance are all equally valid sports requiring dedication, drawing out talent, are physically demanding etc. I applaud kids who excel at them.

But it would be naive to suggest they don’t draw attention to body form, shape and size in a way that sports that focus on how you’re kicking/catching/hitting the ball, don’t.

In today’s world of snapchat, selfies and endless focus on looks (particularly though not exclusively for girls), I wonder if it’s sensible for 7 year old girls to be comparing whether their tummy sticks out more than other girls in a leotard....(sadly a real life example).

'Many people do pole dancing for exercise, couldn’t you look at this the same?'
OMG! I DO NOT want my 8 year old daughter bloody pole dancing!!! That's the worst analogy you could have used!!!

Pole fitness is just acrobatics/strength. Nothing lascivious about it.

A family friend (14) has done this for a couple of years. She is not 'girly' at all, but quite sporty and enjoys gymnastics. She has stuck with this longer than any other activity, and now her team have started winning competitions which I think is great for her confidence. It's not something I would have chosen, or would have expected her to, but all seems good innocent sporty fun!

There's a huge difference between the American style cheer-leading at games, in skimpy costumes and tranny levels of make-up to what my god-daughter does at uni.

Here it's more like gymnastics - and pretty tough. They're not associated with a sports' team, so no objectifying going on.

@undercoverfunster stop coming up with excuses to mask your own sexism. The sport isn't sexist but you certainly are. Posters have explained numerous time on this thread the difference between the American NFL cheerleaders and Cheer as a sport. You refuse to acknowledge that and instead continue with your prejudiced and offensive views.
I feel sorry for your daughter, growing up with a mum like you. I cant believe the attitude you have towards Dance, gymnastics and netball. It's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for the way you are raising your daughter.

Honestly she's 8.

That's when you get to try all sorts of things out without the pressure of having to be trialling for the England team.

I think saying no will only make it more appealing.
And it's awfully young to pressure re the football-have watched it with my DC and friends-the attrition rates are very, very high.

Let her find herself and have fun

Pole fitness is just acrobatics/strength. Nothing lascivious about it.

er, okay. But for some reason they aren't offering that in our primary school.
Between constant football, tennis and swimming, and random back flipping/ cartwheeling, she's a strong as an ox. It's really not her fitness or strength that's the issue.

Cheerleading's amazing! Have you any idea how fit they have to be? Also, I'd trust her to have the intelligence to work out for herself whether it's sexist and outdated. It's okay for girls to want to do girly things.

I think YANBU at all. While of course highlevel cheerleaders are very skilled and athletic people, that doesn't change the fact that it is a deeply sexist sport. Just google the problems that NFL cheerleaders continue to have with pay (clue.. it's very low) and conditions (eg getting fired for having 'relations' with a member of the football team, while the team member is clearly not reprimanded at all). In US high schools it's also a deeply sexist sport (according to US friends, and see this recent letter to a US advice column slate.com/human-interest/2020/02/cheerleading-breaking-up-marriage-care-and-feeding.html). Just because boys and men can in theory be cheerleaders the overall culture of the sport is sexist.

I'm sure it isn't like that in her primary school - but ultimately if she gets into it then these are the people she will be looking up to. It's a whole different kettle of fish to other femal sportspeople who are respected when they play at the highest level (for example the England women's football team or even professional ballet dancers).

I would stick to your guns. I'd probably try to redirect her attention and find another activity for her to get into though.

My dd is a cheerleader although it's All Star cheer so completely different to waving pom poms about and chanting. They do stunting and tumbles and picking up and throwing the flyers. You need to be strong dedicated and work as a team.

My dd and her teams (different level routines and stunt groups) have won national and European competitions.

If she wants to do the schools style of cheerleading then I can't see any harm in it. I doubt she'll be in skimpy outfits etc, they just make up chants and do a bit of dancing.

My stepdaughter did it at uni and absolutely loved it. She got into the choreography and ran the social side as well. It was regarded as a sport in its own right, her team took part in the national uni championships and the guys from the football and rugby teams went along to support them. Let her do it, OP.

If you are worried she is going to be bullied or teased at the class just make an excuse why she can't go like she is doing enough sport etc. If it is just your view of the activity itself, letting her go will probably be the quickest way of putting her off it. Do they do a trial session so you don't have to sign up for a whole term?

Cheerleading in the UK is different from the USA I think - here it is considered much more of an activity / sport in its own right and there are all sorts of competitions etc. My dd never did it, but her school team was very successful.

I cant believe the attitude you have towards Dance, gymnastics and netball.

There's been a misunderstanding somewhere! I hated dance but was both a gymnast and STILL play netball. It DD who didn't like these sports but tried them as that's what most of the girls did. She's one of the few playing football. And she's just happens to be really good at that.

She's tried ALL the sports... all of them. Which is great.

I’ve seen videos of some of our local cheer teams, and they just look so talented and athletic! Some seem to be mixed and some single sex. But the amount of strength is amazing.

I just don’t get hung up about stuff like this

My dd wants to do football - sure I’ll sign you up
My dd wants to do ballet - sure I’ll sign you up

My dd wants to do cheerleading - sure I’ll sign you up

At this age it’s all about exploring, giving things a go.

So much more important things to dwell and debate on. I want my children to have a real sense of perspective in this world. You OP, are setting your children up to focus on the trivial shit.

Gymnastics, ballet, tap, dance are all equally valid sports requiring dedication, drawing out talent, are physically demanding etc. I applaud kids who excel at them.

But it would be naive to suggest they don’t draw attention to body form, shape and size in a way that sports that focus on how you’re kicking/catching/hitting the ball, don’t.
Surely nobody would begin to argue that sporting disciplines where points are awarded for correct bodily form don't draw attention to the form.
Male and female gymnastics attire allows the judges to assess straigh legs, posture etc. In ballet and other forms of dance, the art comes from seeing the body move.

In swimming, swimwear shows the body.

Road cycling and track cycling often require lycra and skin suits. They also draw attention to the body.

I don't see what you're getting at here. Sports have different attire.